Dh and I have been married for 8 1/2 yrs together for 10+. We dont have the perfect or even most extremely functional marriage in the world. If we are under stress, to get anything done we will do it and do it well but with lots of bickering. We bicker and bicker and bicker. We are both cancers, strong tempered and passionate in a lot of things so of course it causes conflict when we are put under stress.
I am not one of those wifes that will say "okay darling you lead the way" and I dont think he would love me if I was like that. Our bickering is part of us. Its part of who we are, it has helped us accomplish everything we have, and has kept us in our toes. I have no deep dark secret or anything I wish to change in our marriage and neither does he. Everything that needed to be taken care of, argued, talked about it, has been done so when it happened. Never go to bed mad stay up and fight.
If you were to observe us from a distance and we were in a stressful situation (be whatever it is..mostly a move/trip) you would think we were on the brinks of divorce but if you were to put up your listening ears and listen more closely or even a bit longer you would realize that under the bickering, we were communicating, getting through to each other, accomplishing whatever task we had at hand and under our bickeriness, you would hear tenderness.
I am not stupid enough to say I have the secret to a perfect marriage. Heck, every couple of years a bomb goes off in our lives, and while the smoke is still settling, we kind of get lost and have our relationship tested over and over again and sometimes it takes us a bit to find each others hands and that period of time is scary. I do like to look of our marriage as a building. Our foundation is strong and sometimes one or two floors might explode and with one of lives very strong bomb, lots of floors might get anihalated and sometimes crack our foundation a bit. But so far thank God our foundation has not turned to dust. After the explosion we quickly rebuild everything and are happy again :)
Lately a lot of our friends are going through divorces. Its extremely sad for us to watch it and to be perfectly honest its scary. In the middle of the night I will stay up and think about it..Why are we able to hold it together and they didnt?? There hasnt been anything special or unique about our marriage. We bicker a lot remember. Some of our friends going through divorces had the type of relationship they could calmly sit down without raising their voices and discuss things. A quiet discussion in this house?? LMFAO..impossible.
In my darkest hrs I will cry and get scared. He is truly my everything. I don't need him to survive but my life is better because of him. I am a better person because of him. Not because he tried to control me or change me, because through his kindness and with all of his patience, he guided me slowly and softly through the right path. I know I have done the same for him. His family this last time, once again told me how good I have been for his life and he has told me numerous times. We take care of each other and want to see each other succeed. And we dont take each other too seriously. I can easily call him a jerk and he will respond with a big grin on his face in the middle of an serious argument and say "Jerk?? Seriously? that is all you can come up with?? Give me something better I know its in there". We will start laughing and through laughter and hiccups I will call him a slimy pathetic creature. More laughter later we wont even remember what the argument was in the first place. Deep down we know we love each other more than anything and there is nowhere else we want to be, than married to each other and doing this together, and we know if there were somewhere else we would rather be for whatever the reason, the other person would hear about it.
He has been so good for me that I of course want this for everyone else. I am not jaded. I believe in love and because even though extremely hard (well it was hard in the beginning now its easy. Even with our bickering its still pretty ,dare I say easy??)
Having just one person truly love you, support you, adore you and want your happiness, sometimes above theirs is such a beautiful thing and I believe everyone should have this. And sometimes on my most zen days, I will even tell you finding that person is lives purpose.
Now dont get me wrong. I joke that he is not my soul mate. I honestly dont know if he is my soul mate or not. To me a soul mate would fit you so perfectly you wouldnt need to argue or even say an unkind word. You would just flow through life in perfect harmony. Your steps would be so matched together and you wouldnt step on each others toes. And because through our marriage, I have stepped on his toes, him on mine, I have said hurtful words to him and him to me that have caused us great pain and also caused us to apologize later on to each other, I dont know if we are soul mates. Maybe we are and I have my definition wrong?? Who knows..
But anyways, many of my friends are asking me what is our secret, when we got married we were told we wouldn't last a yr and we were on a collision course to destruction, and so far we have proved all of our critics wrong. So what is our secret??
After talking about routines and lives, I can honestly say there is 4 things from most of the couples around us that are falling part, that we have done different.
1. Everything gets solved right away. There is no passive aggressiveness around here. I will call him in Afghanistan in the middle of the night to tell him I am not happy with a decision he made. He will wake me up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to tell me what I did he is not happy with. Nothing has a chance to grow and spread.
2. We rather spend time with each other than anyone else. We know how to have fun together. Don't get me wrong..we also need time apart, we also enjoy our friends and going out with them, but we are each others best friend and we know how to have fun. The fun we enjoy is simple and all over the place, be watching movies, a picnic in the middle of the living room, or reeenacting operation dessert storm on each other with nerf guns.
3. We go to bed together (when he is in country of course). Maybe one night a month insomnia might hit me or him or he might have a game he is wanting to play longer or I might have a book going on that I just cant put down, but 99% of the time we go to bed together at the same time. I think its important.
and last but not least..
4. We dont have a tv in our bedroom. He always wanted one from the time we got together and I was always against one. We never had a tv in our bedroom and now he is thankful we dont have one. Our bedroom is sacred. Its our time together. We are plugged in to technology too much already during our days and not plugged in to each other enough (what I believe is the biggest problem facing this world today), so therefore not having a tv in our bedroom is major. Some of the most fun,interesting conversations we have had was right before we went to sleep. All of our decisions and huge issues have been solved during those talks right before bed. For us is magical.
So one might think this is bs..someone's grandma cousin sister has been married for 55 yrs and they have a tv in their bedroom. Hey more power to them. I am just answering what people have asked me =)
Love A :)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St Patty's day.....
A couple weeks ago I made a mental note to buy something green. This past year I have tried to move on from wearing red or black with jeans and actually purchase more color for my wardrobe. Slowly but not fast enough I am getting there. Sadly, I dont have anything green. I have some black shirts with a little bit of green, but a full green shirt?? Nope and God only knows where that mental note went. Maybe replaced by more important matters, like shave your legs before your husband gets home. Who knows??
Tyty wore green to school today, Juliet is wearing green today and so is dh. Yep he got this bright green shirt. Dh usually is a dark browns/blues kind of guy but every once in a while he will purchase a bright orange/yellow shirt that catches his eye. I personally think they are ridiculous, but hey pick your battles right?? I just walk a couple of steps behind him ;)
So anyways my mental note slipped my mind and even though I love St Patrick's Day (whats not to love about Irish culture?? Green beer, shamrocks and gorgeous Ireland that I have google traveled many times..) but Irish culture also has given me Irish proverbs/blessings and I love this little couple of lines of wisdom. They are so sweet, short, easy to understand, and more than not, some of these blessings are hilarious. So without further ado, even though I am wearing red today, here are my favorite Irish blessings/Proverbs...
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.
May your glass be ever full.
May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven
half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
Happy St Patrick's day everyone =)
Love Ally
Monday, March 14, 2011
The most memorable road trip ever...
On Friday night after the kids were in bed, dh and I packed, loaded up the car to the brim, reminded each other for the 50th million time to grab the chargers and went to bed. Saturday at 4 am we were going to start our great road trip. After some oversleeping and grabbing last minute things we left for vacation at 6am. The first day our drive was awesome, various trips to starbucks and then to load up on red bulls, the kids were entertained , we were signing, dh was sharing with me all about Afghanistan tent politics he has to deal with on a daily basis (same as office politics in the US if you care to know), all in all couldnt ask for better conditions.
At around 6pm we decided we were done driving. We found ourselves in Charlotte, NC, as we were pulling up in the parking lot of the restaurant it started raining. No biggie. We go inside place our orders, get about 5 bites each and out of nowhere Juliet starts to projectile vomiting all over the place. Hubby quickly sent me outside to grab her clothes and took control of the situation. Thank God he remembers my absolute aversion to someone else getting sick. I have sympathy sickness with vomitting and my stomach decides to keep you company :(
Well we clean her up, take the rest of our food to go and get searching for a hotel. At the first one we stop, we find out there is a Hornetts (they are a basketball team in case you are as clueless as I am) game and some kind of festival going on in town. That means we wont find a hotel for another 60 miles. That started to put a damper in my spirits. We were tired, it was getting dark quickly, the kids were cranky, but we treked on. We drove almost 60 miles, found a hotel that had vacancies and spent the night.
On Sunday morning we started the 2nd leg of our trip. As we drive into Virginia and the temperature stars to drop extremely quickly. I decided to look into the weather channel to see what was going on..Well come to find out a huge snowstorm is moving in very quickly right on the path of where we are suposse to go in West Virginia. I freak out. I have a horrible fear of West Virginia. The last time we drove to PA back in Dec of 04, we missed the highway we were supossed to take and decided to take another road. With my awesomeness navigation skills, I took us through the mountains of WV. Extremelly high altitudes, huge drops, snow everywhere, fog, 2 lanes of traffic with no guardrail, deer crossing. The absolute worse trip of our lives. Many barganings with GOd were made.
So this time around I checked and recked the maps many time and was 100% sure it wouldnt take us through the mountains in WV. But with this snowstorm coming in our paths, I was still scared. Well we had no choice. We had passed the highway that if we took it would have taken us all the way east to Maryland and added about 4 hrs to our trip. We had no choice but to go foward. Lets just say if I can help it, I will never set foot again in WV for as long as I can live.
We finally arrive at his moms house right outside Pittsburgh at 5pm. Dh got the suprise of his life, his dad had driven all the way from Mississippi to see him and spend time with us. We enjoyed the family and after some sitting by the fireplace to warm up (I left 80 degree weather for the current 22 degrees in PA) some much need beer we crashed for the night.
On monday we took a trip the chocolate factory. My favorite place ever. All kinds of goodies.I spent hrs admiring this beautiful castle that took over 3 months to construct. A castle made of candy. Ladies and gentleman I have found my dream home =)
More time were spent taking pictures of adorable figurines of crocs, flip flops, fried eggs, pickles, all made of chocolate. Finally after wiping the drooling of my face for the 20th time and calling dh unfair for not allowing me to purchase one of each delicious truffle on display, we hapily left with our purchases. They even support our troops. I need to go back ;)
Monday night was family reunion. Another thing dh had no clue about it. Over 60 family members showed up to meet the kids and just enjoy us. The food was delicious, the conversation was flowing and while I knew about 50 of the 60 people that showed up, the names were hard to keep track of also my glass was getting refilled all the time. I must admit I got tipsy, but I was in my best behavior dont worry.
The kids were held by their great great aunts and there was nothing else this family needed more than some family loving. I was amazed at everything. Getting 10 of my family members in the same room is a task, making sure they dont kill each other is a miracle, so to see this was really awesome. His family, as dysfunctional as they are, they are extremely close and if I ever lose my mind, and decide to move there, you will know why.
Tuesday we drove into Pittisburgh and I met up with an online friend that lives close to there. This friend I met her some 5 yrs ago through a military wive website I was a member. We instantly clicked and have chatted nonstop. I already felt like I knew her. She is just as awesome in person. We spent the morning and part of the afternoon at the Carnegie Science museum in Pittsburgh. It was me, dh the kids, her her dh and her kids. Everyone clicked and got along awesomely. I had a really good time and miss her already.
Wed we drove back into Pittsburgh to meet up with my mil, fil, and sil to go have dinner at Primanti brothers. The original at the strip district of course. In case you never heard of this little jewel of a place, I have the need to share with you. Primanti brothers is a chain of sandwich shops opened in 1933. At the time the strip district was a growing area. Lots of truck drivers in the area who made deliveries to the local area 24 hrs a day but needed to get back on the road quickly. The brothers opened this sandwich shop to cater to them aka a good sandwich that could easily be eaten with one hand. Rumor has that on opening night they realized they forgot to order their to go boxes. Not wanting to loose business, they just slapped the coslaw and fries right inside the sandwich and a staple was born. When you walk into this place you are hit with various kinds of delicious smells. Dont expect to get a menu. Their very simple menu is posted on the wall. Asides from some soup, a side of cheese fries, onion rings, and some breakfast items, all you can get are their signature subs. Their flavors range from spicy sausage to cornbeef hash, to prime steak and so forth. They only accept cash, are open 24 hrs and after you place your order, they make it right there behind the counter, the waitress drops you sandwich right in front of you. Don't expect plates or silverware. They are served on a piece of paper. I am not a huge fan of coslaw but the mixture of the bread, meat, coslaw, fries and crack they put into it are to die for. I will eat there every single time I go back to PA :)
After that the mil, fil, and sil took the kids and dh and I drove to a little town right outside of Pittsburgh called Coraopolis were we had a hotel booked. We dropped the suitcases off took showers, got dressed and decided to catch a movie before dinner. A movie theater with a starbucks inside. How awesome is that??
We watched "The adjustment Bureau". Such a good movie and not just because I am a huge Matt Damon fan. Seriously a good movie.
Then we were on to our next adventure. We drove up Mt Washington, met up with dh's cousin and his fiance and rode the incline down into the city. Its a century old cable car that gives you awesome views of the city. And it creaks so its a task trying to just enjoy the views and ignore and creaking this car makes and hope and pray in a century they have done updates.
After getting to the bottom in one piece, we walked by the river almost a mile in 39 degree weather and after reaching dangerous stages of hypotermia, we reached our destination. The Hard Rock Cafe. I had never been inside one, so that was an experience itself. There was also some live band playing and their drinks and food were extremely delicious. We had such a good time and it wasnt just because of the 4 berry margaritas I had ;)
That night dh got sick as a dog. He caught some 24 hr stomach bug. Not good. On thursday after picking up the kids from the inlaws, promising everyone we will be back before 6 yrs, I feeling fine, started to drive to VA. Dh and dd were extremely sick. Not a fun drive. Once we got to Maryland I started getting sick. I was so sure I dodged that bullet. Nope ;(. After not being able to handle being in the car anymore, we decided to stop at around 3pm at a hotel in Maryland and spend the night.
Cold sweat, hallucinating, saltine crackers and gatorade is all I remember from 3pm thursday until friday morning when we finally left to again be on the road to VA.
The trip to VA was okay. We got lost a bit outside Washington but it was fine. I made dh promise one day he will take me to explore Maryland, Washington and more of Virginia. Just by being in VA I started to feel better. There is something special about that area.
We reached Newport News, VA at around 2 pm and after many tearful hugs and kisses, I got reunited with my best friend. I have know her for over 15 yrs but havent seen her in some 6 odd years (later I will talk about her more). We spend a good 3-4 hrs a day on the phone pretty much every day but its not the same. Seeing her was awesome. She got to meet her godchildren, I got to meet mine and more than ever I believe she is still a sister from another mother.
Our time was short but we stayed up until late every night just enjoying each other. It was awesome. On Saturday we even managed to sneak away for a couple hrs and the two of us just browsed Barnes and Noble. It was wonderful but it made me even more aware how much I love her, how wonderful it would be if we lived closer and just how mcuh I enjoy her company. I now have prayed to God everynight to send us to VA. We will see if HE responds ;)
On Sunday morning we left at 5am (because only the night before did my amazing husband realized it would take 15 hrs to get home...OOPS. But we left at 5am and by the time we reached South of the Border, clothes started to come off. The temperature started to climb, the kids were being good, and we realized that even with all the sickness and insanity we would have done it all over again just the same because it was a really good trip, one that we wont ever forget :)
Love A
At around 6pm we decided we were done driving. We found ourselves in Charlotte, NC, as we were pulling up in the parking lot of the restaurant it started raining. No biggie. We go inside place our orders, get about 5 bites each and out of nowhere Juliet starts to projectile vomiting all over the place. Hubby quickly sent me outside to grab her clothes and took control of the situation. Thank God he remembers my absolute aversion to someone else getting sick. I have sympathy sickness with vomitting and my stomach decides to keep you company :(
Well we clean her up, take the rest of our food to go and get searching for a hotel. At the first one we stop, we find out there is a Hornetts (they are a basketball team in case you are as clueless as I am) game and some kind of festival going on in town. That means we wont find a hotel for another 60 miles. That started to put a damper in my spirits. We were tired, it was getting dark quickly, the kids were cranky, but we treked on. We drove almost 60 miles, found a hotel that had vacancies and spent the night.
On Sunday morning we started the 2nd leg of our trip. As we drive into Virginia and the temperature stars to drop extremely quickly. I decided to look into the weather channel to see what was going on..Well come to find out a huge snowstorm is moving in very quickly right on the path of where we are suposse to go in West Virginia. I freak out. I have a horrible fear of West Virginia. The last time we drove to PA back in Dec of 04, we missed the highway we were supossed to take and decided to take another road. With my awesomeness navigation skills, I took us through the mountains of WV. Extremelly high altitudes, huge drops, snow everywhere, fog, 2 lanes of traffic with no guardrail, deer crossing. The absolute worse trip of our lives. Many barganings with GOd were made.
So this time around I checked and recked the maps many time and was 100% sure it wouldnt take us through the mountains in WV. But with this snowstorm coming in our paths, I was still scared. Well we had no choice. We had passed the highway that if we took it would have taken us all the way east to Maryland and added about 4 hrs to our trip. We had no choice but to go foward. Lets just say if I can help it, I will never set foot again in WV for as long as I can live.
We finally arrive at his moms house right outside Pittsburgh at 5pm. Dh got the suprise of his life, his dad had driven all the way from Mississippi to see him and spend time with us. We enjoyed the family and after some sitting by the fireplace to warm up (I left 80 degree weather for the current 22 degrees in PA) some much need beer we crashed for the night.
On monday we took a trip the chocolate factory. My favorite place ever. All kinds of goodies.I spent hrs admiring this beautiful castle that took over 3 months to construct. A castle made of candy. Ladies and gentleman I have found my dream home =)
More time were spent taking pictures of adorable figurines of crocs, flip flops, fried eggs, pickles, all made of chocolate. Finally after wiping the drooling of my face for the 20th time and calling dh unfair for not allowing me to purchase one of each delicious truffle on display, we hapily left with our purchases. They even support our troops. I need to go back ;)
Monday night was family reunion. Another thing dh had no clue about it. Over 60 family members showed up to meet the kids and just enjoy us. The food was delicious, the conversation was flowing and while I knew about 50 of the 60 people that showed up, the names were hard to keep track of also my glass was getting refilled all the time. I must admit I got tipsy, but I was in my best behavior dont worry.
The kids were held by their great great aunts and there was nothing else this family needed more than some family loving. I was amazed at everything. Getting 10 of my family members in the same room is a task, making sure they dont kill each other is a miracle, so to see this was really awesome. His family, as dysfunctional as they are, they are extremely close and if I ever lose my mind, and decide to move there, you will know why.
Tuesday we drove into Pittisburgh and I met up with an online friend that lives close to there. This friend I met her some 5 yrs ago through a military wive website I was a member. We instantly clicked and have chatted nonstop. I already felt like I knew her. She is just as awesome in person. We spent the morning and part of the afternoon at the Carnegie Science museum in Pittsburgh. It was me, dh the kids, her her dh and her kids. Everyone clicked and got along awesomely. I had a really good time and miss her already.
Wed we drove back into Pittsburgh to meet up with my mil, fil, and sil to go have dinner at Primanti brothers. The original at the strip district of course. In case you never heard of this little jewel of a place, I have the need to share with you. Primanti brothers is a chain of sandwich shops opened in 1933. At the time the strip district was a growing area. Lots of truck drivers in the area who made deliveries to the local area 24 hrs a day but needed to get back on the road quickly. The brothers opened this sandwich shop to cater to them aka a good sandwich that could easily be eaten with one hand. Rumor has that on opening night they realized they forgot to order their to go boxes. Not wanting to loose business, they just slapped the coslaw and fries right inside the sandwich and a staple was born. When you walk into this place you are hit with various kinds of delicious smells. Dont expect to get a menu. Their very simple menu is posted on the wall. Asides from some soup, a side of cheese fries, onion rings, and some breakfast items, all you can get are their signature subs. Their flavors range from spicy sausage to cornbeef hash, to prime steak and so forth. They only accept cash, are open 24 hrs and after you place your order, they make it right there behind the counter, the waitress drops you sandwich right in front of you. Don't expect plates or silverware. They are served on a piece of paper. I am not a huge fan of coslaw but the mixture of the bread, meat, coslaw, fries and crack they put into it are to die for. I will eat there every single time I go back to PA :)
After that the mil, fil, and sil took the kids and dh and I drove to a little town right outside of Pittsburgh called Coraopolis were we had a hotel booked. We dropped the suitcases off took showers, got dressed and decided to catch a movie before dinner. A movie theater with a starbucks inside. How awesome is that??
We watched "The adjustment Bureau". Such a good movie and not just because I am a huge Matt Damon fan. Seriously a good movie.
Then we were on to our next adventure. We drove up Mt Washington, met up with dh's cousin and his fiance and rode the incline down into the city. Its a century old cable car that gives you awesome views of the city. And it creaks so its a task trying to just enjoy the views and ignore and creaking this car makes and hope and pray in a century they have done updates.
After getting to the bottom in one piece, we walked by the river almost a mile in 39 degree weather and after reaching dangerous stages of hypotermia, we reached our destination. The Hard Rock Cafe. I had never been inside one, so that was an experience itself. There was also some live band playing and their drinks and food were extremely delicious. We had such a good time and it wasnt just because of the 4 berry margaritas I had ;)
That night dh got sick as a dog. He caught some 24 hr stomach bug. Not good. On thursday after picking up the kids from the inlaws, promising everyone we will be back before 6 yrs, I feeling fine, started to drive to VA. Dh and dd were extremely sick. Not a fun drive. Once we got to Maryland I started getting sick. I was so sure I dodged that bullet. Nope ;(. After not being able to handle being in the car anymore, we decided to stop at around 3pm at a hotel in Maryland and spend the night.
Cold sweat, hallucinating, saltine crackers and gatorade is all I remember from 3pm thursday until friday morning when we finally left to again be on the road to VA.
The trip to VA was okay. We got lost a bit outside Washington but it was fine. I made dh promise one day he will take me to explore Maryland, Washington and more of Virginia. Just by being in VA I started to feel better. There is something special about that area.
We reached Newport News, VA at around 2 pm and after many tearful hugs and kisses, I got reunited with my best friend. I have know her for over 15 yrs but havent seen her in some 6 odd years (later I will talk about her more). We spend a good 3-4 hrs a day on the phone pretty much every day but its not the same. Seeing her was awesome. She got to meet her godchildren, I got to meet mine and more than ever I believe she is still a sister from another mother.
Our time was short but we stayed up until late every night just enjoying each other. It was awesome. On Saturday we even managed to sneak away for a couple hrs and the two of us just browsed Barnes and Noble. It was wonderful but it made me even more aware how much I love her, how wonderful it would be if we lived closer and just how mcuh I enjoy her company. I now have prayed to God everynight to send us to VA. We will see if HE responds ;)
On Sunday morning we left at 5am (because only the night before did my amazing husband realized it would take 15 hrs to get home...OOPS. But we left at 5am and by the time we reached South of the Border, clothes started to come off. The temperature started to climb, the kids were being good, and we realized that even with all the sickness and insanity we would have done it all over again just the same because it was a really good trip, one that we wont ever forget :)
Love A
Friday, March 4, 2011
Presents from over there ....
Getting presents from over there is absolutely awesome. I belong to a couple of military boards and the girls are always raving about the goodies their husbands have gotten for them from overseas. From expensive rugs, to scarfs, pricey jewelry and etc.
Not to be outdone I am going to rave about the stuff I get. To where they got expensive rugs, scarfs and rare jewelry, I have gotten ....MAGNETS. And I love it :)
(The kids also got some cool stuff but they are so selfish they wont even let me take a picture of it because "its from daddy and its miiiiiiinnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...")
This year my husband also got me a plate and some yummy chocolate. He knows me well and I love him for it.
*No my husband didnt go to Australia. His coworker did for r&r. Hey when you are single you go on a safari adventure to Australia for r&r when you are married with kids you go to Pittsburgh ;).
Anyways, hubby made sure to ask him to pick me up a magnet and he did :)
Oh and all these cool magnets is from airport travels (his connections are in cool places but oh so short he airport travels) But dont feel bad for me, I have gone to Australia, Tahiti, Madagascar, all the cool places through one of the most enjoyable forms of transportation nowadays.. Google traveling =)
Love A
Not to be outdone I am going to rave about the stuff I get. To where they got expensive rugs, scarfs and rare jewelry, I have gotten ....MAGNETS. And I love it :)
(The kids also got some cool stuff but they are so selfish they wont even let me take a picture of it because "its from daddy and its miiiiiiinnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...")
This year my husband also got me a plate and some yummy chocolate. He knows me well and I love him for it.
*No my husband didnt go to Australia. His coworker did for r&r. Hey when you are single you go on a safari adventure to Australia for r&r when you are married with kids you go to Pittsburgh ;).
Anyways, hubby made sure to ask him to pick me up a magnet and he did :)
Oh and all these cool magnets is from airport travels (his connections are in cool places but oh so short he airport travels) But dont feel bad for me, I have gone to Australia, Tahiti, Madagascar, all the cool places through one of the most enjoyable forms of transportation nowadays.. Google traveling =)
Love A
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Aww homecoming...
I always said I wouldn't wish a deployment on even my worse enemy. But lately I had an epifani. I would wish a short deployment even on my best friend.
Let me explain before you start to rip my head apart..
Our first deployment sucked ass. I was young, had just given birth with my mother by my side, not my husband. Hubby comes home for 3 wks then leaves again and I dont see him anymore until 11 months later. Ouch. Here I am trying to learn how to keep a human being alive when before no plant or animal survived, trying to do it under the watchful eyes of my ever so criticizing parents, just a hard situation.
I was living at my parents for 8 months while he was gone and it was 8 months too long. Even after moving thousands of miles alone with a 8 months old and setting up housing in our base, I never felt like I accomplished anything. I was on survival mode and also I was worried about my husband all the time. Would I be a widow at 25 with a little boy to take care of alone?? Would my husband still love me?? Will he even care about our son?? He spent 2wks with him when he was a tiny little thing, he will come home (If he makes it. Oh please God) to a walking, babbling high strung toddler.This is a completely different child he is coming home to. What will happen? How are we going to adapt to each other?? Will he reoccurring nightmares, will he jump every time I say boo?? I was like a chihuahua on pcp.
Sometimes your lessons in life are learned in rewind. You don't learn them while life is playing, only when you rewind and pause and really think about each act, each scene.
To where I hadn't thought I learned anything before, I really did. I left my parents house at 19 and moved in with boyfriend who is now my husband. We started living together, working, paying bills and so forth. I never really been alone on my own. While it was extreme circumstances, I would have liked to dip my toes in slowly instead of being thrown into with motherhood to make it more interesting, I lived alone. Yes most nights I was scared and slept with every single light on including the tv, I have made tons of mistakes. Our house had 10 holes for one picture frame, I locked my keys in my car and so forth. But I learned so much about myself. I learned that I really can do this. I can pack up and move when I am not happy, doesn't matter how far away it is or that I have a child to do with it and its a nightmare logistically. I will seek my happiness. I can take care of our house, bill, and everything that comes with it. I am pretty strong. On top of it, I learned to cook, truly cook. Recipes from scratch, not just throw something in the microwave. I also learned I am okay with being alone. Before I use to surround myself with ppl I didn't even care about just for the background noise. Now I have learned its a lot better to be alone than in bad company. I learned life is too short and if you are not interested in sharing good things with me including my happiness, than I would rather be completely alone in silence. That was a huge lesson to me because being alone is my fear. But learning that even when I am alone I am in company of not only God but a wonderful person : MYSELF :) Was one of the most treasured lessons in my life.
I also learned to have extreme respect for single mothers. While the only difference between me and them is that I had a paycheck coming in and knew one day this loneliness would end, it was too close to comfort and made me realize just how strong these woman really are, to leave behind the comforts in pursuit of happiness. Even if it comes with so much sacrifices. It also gave me a huge appreciation for my husband and everything he does/did for us. I was blessed and didn't know.
This deployment on the other hand was an easy one. I was on my own, while extremely close to my parents, at my own place. They drove me nuts I said goodnight and went to my own place. I am older and wiser (with still a lot to learn) but thank God the lessons while still important ones are better received. I truly believe being wise doesn't mean nothing get thrown your way you just handle it better. If before I was a chihuaua on pcp, now I am closer to a zen budha. Yeah right...lol..
No seriously, the reason while I wish a short easy deployment on even my best friends is because you learn so much from it. You grow, you learn to enjoy your company and most of all you learn to appreciate the little quirks of our partner, the ones that once drove you insane?? Yeahh you miss them. And without a deployment there would be no homecoming and everyone needs to experience a homecoming in their life. It sucks the anticipation (hello most impatient person around), the worry, the fear, and so forth, but as soon as you catch a glimpse of them and that first embrace, its above magical. So much worry, anxiety, fear, everything just melts. You remember why you are in their arms, why they are your significant other, and how much you truly love this person. Its such a wonderful experience, how could I not want everyone to experience it??
Love always
Let me explain before you start to rip my head apart..
Our first deployment sucked ass. I was young, had just given birth with my mother by my side, not my husband. Hubby comes home for 3 wks then leaves again and I dont see him anymore until 11 months later. Ouch. Here I am trying to learn how to keep a human being alive when before no plant or animal survived, trying to do it under the watchful eyes of my ever so criticizing parents, just a hard situation.
I was living at my parents for 8 months while he was gone and it was 8 months too long. Even after moving thousands of miles alone with a 8 months old and setting up housing in our base, I never felt like I accomplished anything. I was on survival mode and also I was worried about my husband all the time. Would I be a widow at 25 with a little boy to take care of alone?? Would my husband still love me?? Will he even care about our son?? He spent 2wks with him when he was a tiny little thing, he will come home (If he makes it. Oh please God) to a walking, babbling high strung toddler.This is a completely different child he is coming home to. What will happen? How are we going to adapt to each other?? Will he reoccurring nightmares, will he jump every time I say boo?? I was like a chihuahua on pcp.
Sometimes your lessons in life are learned in rewind. You don't learn them while life is playing, only when you rewind and pause and really think about each act, each scene.
To where I hadn't thought I learned anything before, I really did. I left my parents house at 19 and moved in with boyfriend who is now my husband. We started living together, working, paying bills and so forth. I never really been alone on my own. While it was extreme circumstances, I would have liked to dip my toes in slowly instead of being thrown into with motherhood to make it more interesting, I lived alone. Yes most nights I was scared and slept with every single light on including the tv, I have made tons of mistakes. Our house had 10 holes for one picture frame, I locked my keys in my car and so forth. But I learned so much about myself. I learned that I really can do this. I can pack up and move when I am not happy, doesn't matter how far away it is or that I have a child to do with it and its a nightmare logistically. I will seek my happiness. I can take care of our house, bill, and everything that comes with it. I am pretty strong. On top of it, I learned to cook, truly cook. Recipes from scratch, not just throw something in the microwave. I also learned I am okay with being alone. Before I use to surround myself with ppl I didn't even care about just for the background noise. Now I have learned its a lot better to be alone than in bad company. I learned life is too short and if you are not interested in sharing good things with me including my happiness, than I would rather be completely alone in silence. That was a huge lesson to me because being alone is my fear. But learning that even when I am alone I am in company of not only God but a wonderful person : MYSELF :) Was one of the most treasured lessons in my life.
I also learned to have extreme respect for single mothers. While the only difference between me and them is that I had a paycheck coming in and knew one day this loneliness would end, it was too close to comfort and made me realize just how strong these woman really are, to leave behind the comforts in pursuit of happiness. Even if it comes with so much sacrifices. It also gave me a huge appreciation for my husband and everything he does/did for us. I was blessed and didn't know.
This deployment on the other hand was an easy one. I was on my own, while extremely close to my parents, at my own place. They drove me nuts I said goodnight and went to my own place. I am older and wiser (with still a lot to learn) but thank God the lessons while still important ones are better received. I truly believe being wise doesn't mean nothing get thrown your way you just handle it better. If before I was a chihuaua on pcp, now I am closer to a zen budha. Yeah right...lol..
No seriously, the reason while I wish a short easy deployment on even my best friends is because you learn so much from it. You grow, you learn to enjoy your company and most of all you learn to appreciate the little quirks of our partner, the ones that once drove you insane?? Yeahh you miss them. And without a deployment there would be no homecoming and everyone needs to experience a homecoming in their life. It sucks the anticipation (hello most impatient person around), the worry, the fear, and so forth, but as soon as you catch a glimpse of them and that first embrace, its above magical. So much worry, anxiety, fear, everything just melts. You remember why you are in their arms, why they are your significant other, and how much you truly love this person. Its such a wonderful experience, how could I not want everyone to experience it??
Love always
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I resign....
I dont want to be my parents child anymore. I want to be their grandchild. As their child life was rough money was tight, they were very young when they had me, made tons of mistakes, because of their own upbringing they dont really know how to show love,they worked a lot and barely had time for me, blah blah blah (insert more blahs that represents hrs and hrs with my therapist) and you get a pretty good idea of my childhood.
Being a grandchild to them, they get showered with love and affection and undivided attention. My parents are now older (although at least half a decade younger than other grandparents) more wiser, way more patient and just more fun, and besides their financial situation is a lot better. They just redid their backyard and built this for the kids :
So yeah even though I am thankful they are so much better with my kids (we want to rough it out stuff ourselves and make it easy breezy for our children) I still want to resign as their child and become their grandchild because I am a bit jealous ;)
Where do I go to fill out the paperwork??
Love A
Being a grandchild to them, they get showered with love and affection and undivided attention. My parents are now older (although at least half a decade younger than other grandparents) more wiser, way more patient and just more fun, and besides their financial situation is a lot better. They just redid their backyard and built this for the kids :
So yeah even though I am thankful they are so much better with my kids (we want to rough it out stuff ourselves and make it easy breezy for our children) I still want to resign as their child and become their grandchild because I am a bit jealous ;)
Where do I go to fill out the paperwork??
Love A
And the insanity begins..
He left hell hole and its on his way home. He somehow score himself a 4 day layover in Dubai. DUBAI!!! Yes I said that right. He is living it up, enjoy all the amenities while I am here anxious loosing my mind. If I bit my nails (eww yucky habit) I would have none left by now.
Preparations have begun, I have stretched, I started scrubbing the house, lingerie has been bought, his favorite beer has been stocked, so has his favorite cookies and real mayo instead of the fake crap I like and he despises. Its all shaping up to be a wonderful homecoming night. Him taking care of the kids while I make get reacquainted with an old friend. Sleep ;)
The anxiety and expectation brings me back to Christmas morning when I was a child. So ready to rip open that package and play with the goodies inside. That was not naughty I promise..lol.
Okay I am going now because I am jittery and all over the place and need to get moving before I loose my mind even more.
Preparations have begun, I have stretched, I started scrubbing the house, lingerie has been bought, his favorite beer has been stocked, so has his favorite cookies and real mayo instead of the fake crap I like and he despises. Its all shaping up to be a wonderful homecoming night. Him taking care of the kids while I make get reacquainted with an old friend. Sleep ;)
The anxiety and expectation brings me back to Christmas morning when I was a child. So ready to rip open that package and play with the goodies inside. That was not naughty I promise..lol.
Okay I am going now because I am jittery and all over the place and need to get moving before I loose my mind even more.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Not so wordless wednesday...
Monday was love day. I signed up for the easiest thing around because I didnt feel like baking. So after dropping Tyler off at school with 40 munchkins and a present for his girlfriend, Julieta and I decided to go do some shopping. Thank you hubby for the Kohl's trip that might have made me spend a bit more than usual. What can I say they have the cutest thing in the world ;)
Later we got some yummy lunch and went to sit by the inlet to watch the boats pass by. After doing loads of nothing, we picked up Tyler from school and heard all about him giving his girlfriend her present (totally cute) but then taking it away from her because she was bad (not so cute) and then to making it up and her actually kissing him. This is the 2nd time he has gotten kissed by 2 different girls nonetheless and he is only 4. I didnt have my first kiss until I was 15. Yeah I know boys are different but this is ridiculous. Maybe I need to make him watch Teen Mom with me ;)
After a yummy dinner and them opening up their presents, and Ty actually drawing me the most adorable portrait of me, it was bed time.
Such an exciting romantic day..NOT!!! I did eat some yummy godiva chocolate and no no, dont throw a rock at my husband. We had decided not to do anything since he will be home soon enough and then we will celebrate it.
The kids got a gift from my parents and so did I to continue the tradition. My parents will still give me gifts for vday, easter, birthday, thanksgiving, christmas, and aniversary. Since I love gifts I dont complain ;)
This year though they gave me a bottle of Kahlua. I love it and will enjoy it just thought it was strange coming from them. Maybe they really know what I need or figure I need to chill out and have a drink. Either way its fine by me.
PS: Look at these pjs?? Dont you wish they came in your size too??
Love A
Later we got some yummy lunch and went to sit by the inlet to watch the boats pass by. After doing loads of nothing, we picked up Tyler from school and heard all about him giving his girlfriend her present (totally cute) but then taking it away from her because she was bad (not so cute) and then to making it up and her actually kissing him. This is the 2nd time he has gotten kissed by 2 different girls nonetheless and he is only 4. I didnt have my first kiss until I was 15. Yeah I know boys are different but this is ridiculous. Maybe I need to make him watch Teen Mom with me ;)
After a yummy dinner and them opening up their presents, and Ty actually drawing me the most adorable portrait of me, it was bed time.
Such an exciting romantic day..NOT!!! I did eat some yummy godiva chocolate and no no, dont throw a rock at my husband. We had decided not to do anything since he will be home soon enough and then we will celebrate it.
The kids got a gift from my parents and so did I to continue the tradition. My parents will still give me gifts for vday, easter, birthday, thanksgiving, christmas, and aniversary. Since I love gifts I dont complain ;)
This year though they gave me a bottle of Kahlua. I love it and will enjoy it just thought it was strange coming from them. Maybe they really know what I need or figure I need to chill out and have a drink. Either way its fine by me.
PS: Look at these pjs?? Dont you wish they came in your size too??
Love A
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Bookworm...
Everyone is always asking me what I am reading and I hate having to search for something to read, so I will start sharing and giving my opnion :)
The hunger games series :
Well after everyone started talking about this new series I decided to pick it up. I was hooked from the second chapter. I blew through all 3 books in less than 4 days and that is stopping and making my self slow down and savor because I didnt want it to end.
Its called dystopia fiction. I have never heard of it before but found out I am hooked to this kind of reading. You would have thunk that after reading the whole "left behind" series, I would have known, but nope. Not until finishing the hunger games did I looked into it and found out what chategory this falls under. Dystopia is pretty much life after something horrible has happened to the world. Its all about survival.
Well The hunger games is a dystopia world and where people chose entertainment versus humanity. Truly wonderful series. So so good, it took me a while to even want to pick something else up. It stayed with me.
Matched: After finishing the hunger games, I had a thirst for another dystopia novel. I just couldnt get enough. I chose this one because the concept sounded good. Its pretty much a future communism that works. They said too many choices makes us stupid and stressed out. So now the government chooses everything for you. From what you eat, to where you work, to the fact you will die surrounded by your family on your 80th birthday, to how many children you can have and to whom you will be matched with, aka marry. Well the main character got "matched" with this guy, but she ended up catching a glimpse of this other guy. Now she is questioning herself. Through this novel she gets stronger and stronger, decides the government whom she admired so much before, pretty much sucks and she has to make some decisions to follow the rules or her heart. A truly good book that makes you think. I do have to warn you though, number 2 doesnt come out until Nov 2011 and number 3 not until nov 2012 :(.
If I knew that I wouldnt have read it now. I hate waiting.
2045 :
Still not satisfied and trying to find another good dystopia novel, I picked this up from reccomendation. Pretty good read. 40 yr old business man falls into a coma and wakes up 35 yrs later to a whole new world. The reason the world fell apart is because corporations now control everything, population control went out the window. There is over 1 billion people around and the numbers rising. Not enough resources, not enough food, water got contaminated and so forth. And the main thing global warming. Its hot and lots are dying from melanoma. People dont think for themselves anymore, they dont learn, they are just puppets. This dystopian novel concentrated on the specs of it. Breaking down why things are not working and really explaining it. It also touched on the fact half of his family have died, he is now getting acquainted with his children and meeting grandchildren for the first time. It was a good read. At the end the author kind of wrapped everything up way too quickly and left me with a sour taste, but I dont regret it.
The hunger games series :
Well after everyone started talking about this new series I decided to pick it up. I was hooked from the second chapter. I blew through all 3 books in less than 4 days and that is stopping and making my self slow down and savor because I didnt want it to end.
Its called dystopia fiction. I have never heard of it before but found out I am hooked to this kind of reading. You would have thunk that after reading the whole "left behind" series, I would have known, but nope. Not until finishing the hunger games did I looked into it and found out what chategory this falls under. Dystopia is pretty much life after something horrible has happened to the world. Its all about survival.
Well The hunger games is a dystopia world and where people chose entertainment versus humanity. Truly wonderful series. So so good, it took me a while to even want to pick something else up. It stayed with me.
Matched: After finishing the hunger games, I had a thirst for another dystopia novel. I just couldnt get enough. I chose this one because the concept sounded good. Its pretty much a future communism that works. They said too many choices makes us stupid and stressed out. So now the government chooses everything for you. From what you eat, to where you work, to the fact you will die surrounded by your family on your 80th birthday, to how many children you can have and to whom you will be matched with, aka marry. Well the main character got "matched" with this guy, but she ended up catching a glimpse of this other guy. Now she is questioning herself. Through this novel she gets stronger and stronger, decides the government whom she admired so much before, pretty much sucks and she has to make some decisions to follow the rules or her heart. A truly good book that makes you think. I do have to warn you though, number 2 doesnt come out until Nov 2011 and number 3 not until nov 2012 :(.
If I knew that I wouldnt have read it now. I hate waiting.
2045 :
Still not satisfied and trying to find another good dystopia novel, I picked this up from reccomendation. Pretty good read. 40 yr old business man falls into a coma and wakes up 35 yrs later to a whole new world. The reason the world fell apart is because corporations now control everything, population control went out the window. There is over 1 billion people around and the numbers rising. Not enough resources, not enough food, water got contaminated and so forth. And the main thing global warming. Its hot and lots are dying from melanoma. People dont think for themselves anymore, they dont learn, they are just puppets. This dystopian novel concentrated on the specs of it. Breaking down why things are not working and really explaining it. It also touched on the fact half of his family have died, he is now getting acquainted with his children and meeting grandchildren for the first time. It was a good read. At the end the author kind of wrapped everything up way too quickly and left me with a sour taste, but I dont regret it.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Good stuff ....
On my quest to lose weight and eat healthier, I have found some good substitutes and I would like to share. I cant guarantee they are all 100% healthy and you probably know other healthier options, but they are extremely yummy and healthier than the stuff I was eating before so for now its good enough ;)
1. Veggie chips. I found these are babies r us and decided to buy it on a whim. Its less calories than the regular potato chip and made from veggies. Not 100% great but a great substitute and pretty darn delicious.
2. I have never thought to try frozen yogurt, but looking at labels and a less than 1500 calories a day, I couldnt afford regular ice cream anymore so I decided to get this and I must say I dont even miss regular ice cream anymore (I mean yeahh I still think about fish food once in a while) but I have been converted :)
3. I am a certified chocoholic. A day is not trully a good day until I have had some chocolate. 10 out of 10 times if I have some extra calories, I will pick chocolate. Well these are pretty good. 100 calories and very tasty.
4. And last but not least Dunkin Donuts veggie egg white flatbread sandwich. Comes in at a little bit less than 350 calories. Its very tasty and such a better choice than a bagel with cream cheese.
So that is all I got for now. If anyone has any tasty options at less calories please share :)
Love A
1. Veggie chips. I found these are babies r us and decided to buy it on a whim. Its less calories than the regular potato chip and made from veggies. Not 100% great but a great substitute and pretty darn delicious.
2. I have never thought to try frozen yogurt, but looking at labels and a less than 1500 calories a day, I couldnt afford regular ice cream anymore so I decided to get this and I must say I dont even miss regular ice cream anymore (I mean yeahh I still think about fish food once in a while) but I have been converted :)
3. I am a certified chocoholic. A day is not trully a good day until I have had some chocolate. 10 out of 10 times if I have some extra calories, I will pick chocolate. Well these are pretty good. 100 calories and very tasty.
4. And last but not least Dunkin Donuts veggie egg white flatbread sandwich. Comes in at a little bit less than 350 calories. Its very tasty and such a better choice than a bagel with cream cheese.
So that is all I got for now. If anyone has any tasty options at less calories please share :)
Love A
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)