The secret to being an amazing mom...

Do you want to know the secret to being an amazing mother it is?? Knowing your limitations. Sounds simple doesn't it?? Yet it is that simple.


Let me share a back story and explain. Back in June 2001 I was a newly engaged woman ready to walk down the aisle a couple of months later, know it all 20 year old, when the case of Andrea Yates made headlines. For those who don't know Andrea Yates was a Texas woman accused of drowning her 5 children in the bathtub of her house.
This happened exactly one week before my 21 st birthday and when I heard the news I was appalled. What a monster. How could she possibly do that to her children? She definitely deserves the death penalty.

Oh I was a judgmental little shit, just like many woman are before they have kids. They are amazing know- it -alls full of theories and ideas. But don't worry, all it takes is one colicky baby and a deployed husband to wake their asses up and bring them down to reality for them to realize "OH shit I think I am fucking this up and I don't know as much as I thought I did".

Yep it happened to me and will happen to every other one out there. Its just one of those dirty little secrets no one talks about it. I don't care who you are, what kind of patience you have or how many books you have read: You are up for the umpteen time in a night with a crying child running on no sleep and lots of tears, and your mind will wander to dark places.
 Whatever happened to Andrea Yates could happen to any one of us at any time.

 You know why it doesn't happen more often?? Because we all learn our limitations early on. We all can think, process and realize we are close to an abysm, this is not the route we want to go, so we back away from it, ask for help, cry to our spouse, our mommies, our friends. We sit in a corner with a pint of ben and jerks flipping through "DR Know it all" latest bestseller trying desperately to find answers or comfort. Knowing our limitations is the only way to keep us sane and keep our children alive. 

Everyone has heard of the term "Keeping up with the Jones", well in the mommy world there should be a term called "Keeping up with Susie fucking homemaker". With the world of Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram and etc, its very easy to get sucked into this idea that you are a shitty mom if you don't:

*Wake up with an amazing disposition every day instead of grumbling and wondering why the fuck didn't you go to bed at 8pm like they do??

*cook organic breakfast on BPA free containers instead of the reality of handing them a sugar laced pop tart

*Send in origami shaped healthy lunches instead of the easy luncheables they love

* tell your child you love them 10 times before walking out the door instead of the normal "Move your ass or you are going to be late and I am not driving your ass to school " popular phrase

*send them to the best rated school in the country instead of just a decent school that is not next to the local strip club

*clean your house from top to bottom during the day instead of surfing the web and reading Perez Hilton.

* Greet them at the door with love and affection instead of getting on them about ripping yet another pair of shoes and so on and so on and so on.

 I seriously don't know why aren't we all rocking in a corner crying and just putting up our children for adoption because no one can possibly meet these fucking standards set so high by some mommies drunk on wine and prozac.

 You know why we are not doing that?? Because we have learned our limitations. Its okay if he eats a pop tart for breakfast today but I am going to make him a veggie laced casserole for dinner. I don't send origami shaped lunch but I don't beat his ass with a wooden spoon and twist his arm until it breaks, so he will be okay and not traumatized because there were no angry bird shaped sandwich on his lunchbox. We realize that even though we are not the best mother in the world, we are always trying and striving to do better day in day out, tuck here, fix there, adjust here. By constantly worrying about the way things are going, already proves we are pretty awesome.

 So why is it that in my generation some moms are not learning about their limitations and deciding they can homeschool ??

 "Oh hell no she didn't go there"

 Yeah I was worried about talking about this subject, but it needs to be talked about. So I am zipping up my flame suit now.

 "Yep she did"

 While I do think almost every mother out there is trying the best for her child and has their best interest in mind, I think some of them are running on misguide. Not everyone was born with the patience to have 7 kids, some are and are amazing at it, but most aren't. That is the same thing with teaching. Not everyone was born to be a teacher. Some are and are really doing a wonderful thing for their child at home, but most aren't.

 Why do teachers need a bachelors degree an some on job training before they can even be left alone in a classroom?? Its for the reason to see if they can cut it.

 So why don't you know your limitation?? That with just an associates degree and making grammar error filled posts on Facebook and spending thousands of hours on Pinterest, you are not cut out to teach??

 Its okay, it doesn't make you a bad mom. Honestly, it really doesn't. I think I am a pretty good mom but only because I know my limits.

 I know two children are my limits, if God gave me 6 kids, I am not sure all 6 would still be alive and healthy today. I learned early on that no child would die by being left to cry in their room for 5 minutes, but if mommy didn't decompress and soon, terror could ensue for sure. I definitely know I don't have what it takes to homeschool just like I don't have what it takes to live in Alaska. If I were to attempt either, I am sure I would somehow find a way to do it, but it would be with a lot of pain, frustration and it definitely wouldn't be the best for anyone.

 So why can't you just accept your limits and really do what is best for your child which is to put them in a dang school and supplement with tutors or whatever it is that you have to?? Why this need to homeschool for absolutely no reason at all just to say that you do it too?

 Find what you are good at, where you can rock at being an amazing mom and run with that. Don't try to keep up with Suzie fucking homemakers. Your child deserves better than that.

 Love A

Time to eat...

Lately I been cooking/baking up a storm, what's new?? I know I know. Anyways, most of the stuff has come from Pinterest and I been on a lucky streak because everything has been delicious.

So here is the rundown:

BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

These came out amazing. They are made with oatmeal and very healthy. I subbed the oil for applesauce and followed the recipe. Kids approved.

BANANA OATMEAL COOKIES

Cookies for breakfast?? Oh yeah I am the best mom in the world. They also freeze well so super easy to throw it into a lunchbox to make a special kinder happy.

HOMEMADE PROTEIN BARS

These are the bomb. I eat them for breakfast everyday and can almost believe I am eating a peanut butter fudge. It makes me feel kind of naughty until I remember how healthy and yummy they are. I did half the recipe just to make it for the first time and even then I thought it was too sweet. A bit less honey next time and they will be perfect.

ZUCCHINI AND CARROTS MUFFIN

These were also a hit. I needed to make a dinner in which would be healthy and I could make it before hand for the nights my son has Karate and we don't get home until 6pm starving. These fit the bill. It took me longer to convert the recipe than making them and they came out very very tasty. Kids couldn't even tell they were eating something healthier for them. Also super easy to freeze. I popped them into the microwave on monday morning and my son had them for lunch at school per his request. Another keeper.


That is it for now. I have a bunch more but I don't want to overload you with yumminess.


Love A

Happy birthday love bug

February dd turned 4. I did not get emotional I promise. Not once, not even a little bit. I am not still emotional at all that my baby is growing up. *sniff sniff*.

Anyways she was due for a big birthday (I only throw big birthdays every couple of years) and since Crafty Mc Crafty aka my mom was here, there was a huge kitty explosion and a very happy toddler (is 4 still toddler or considered child?? let me go cry some more hahaha).


Love A

I am back.....

I haven't posted in forever, well since last year. I honestly don't know why. No excuses. I had enough to say but no desire to sit down and type it all up. Hopefully I will find some desire soon and post normally. So lets catch up shall we.


December was R&R, a 15hr drive to S Fl to spend Christmas with my parents then back home only to turn around a couple of days later and drive 8 hrs up to PA to spend New Years with the inlaws. I went from mild 30-40 degrees in VA to a sunny 70-80 in S Florida to about 20 degrees and a good 4 feet of snow in PA. How we didn't all get sick is still beyond me.




January brought the ending of R&R and a cloudy rain over my head. I was like one of those cartoons in which the cloudy rain just follows it around. My kickers were all in a twist and I just could not pull them up once again. I had a really rough time getting into the swing of things. My mommy came and spent a month with me and that helped a lot. I untwisted my panties, pulled them up once again and got into a routine and back to my donut of misery again.

Anyways, enough of rambling here are some pictures because honestly pictures can tell a story much better than I can :)

Love A

Happiness in the midst of so much sadness..

On Friday after just done baking a german chocolate cake, I sat down to watch the news and learned about the overwhelming sadness that descendent upon Conn. I had legs to shave, food to finish making, house to finish cleaning because after 9 long months my husband was on his transatlantic flight on the way home to spend 20 days filled with fun.

I was so happy and excited about my husband coming home yet I had tears rolling down my face after trying to comprehend what going on in an elementary school states away. A school just like the one I had sent my son to that exact same morning.

Did I tell him I loved him?? Have I been kissing him enough?? If he were to die today, would there be any unsaid words left?? Probably, and that broke my heart.

I cried, and cried some more for those children, those parents, the gunman's family that will forever have to live with the realization they raised a killer, the community, the country, I cried for them all and then I remembered... the only way to make the dead proud is to live. Live a full life and try to not take anything for granted.

Various parents did the same thing. They gave their children extra hugs when they came off the bus, they remembered to tell them they loved them, they gave them an extra cookie for dessert, they read an extra bedtime story and they promised themselves to not take anything for granted anymore.

I did the same, I got dressed, shaved my legs, picked up my children up from the bus stop, and picked my husband up from the aiport. Happy that we get 20 days to spend. Happy that he is alive and I have more time to tell him how much I love him and appreciate him, instead of sad its only 20 days.

In the next 20 days we have millions of things to do, and my resolve to not take anything for grant again might falter. I might get mad at my husband for putting socks on the couch, or upset my children spilled something for the millionth time, I am not perfect, but I am thankful I got one more chance to do it right, and you will be dammed if I waste it :)

Love A

Busy busy / iphone dump

This month things have been crazy. Its the last month before R&R, my nerves are shot and I am so ready for him to be home.

Because of all of this, I have crammed way too much this past month and kept record of it with my phone. So here is the dump...

Enjoy!!!

        1. I got my nose pierced : 

 2. I bought a shirt to wear for Christmas but hate the way my belly looks into it so now I got to find a good sucky thing! I need plastic surgery so so bad. I seriously need to get over the fear and just get it done!!!!!

 3. I bought dh's clone :)

 4. I learned how to dress my daughter in below 40 temps!!

 5. I took pictures of gorgeous fall trees.

 6. I survived 5 days at home w/ the kids over the thanksgiving holiday.

 7. I had the bright idea of buy magnetic boards and get all these magnets off my fridge and into a somewhat work of art!

 8. I borrowed ideas from pinterest and made a Christmas card holder

 9. I tried one dress

 10. and I tried another dress and I still don't have an outfit for homecoming. Commence stress in 5,4,...

 11. I baked and a lot. Kneading dough for shortbread cubes does wonder for my soul. Ignore the fact they look funny. I didn't find my pin roller (in dd room. My daughter is always stealing my kitchen utensils) until after.

 12. We celebrated Thanksgiving

 13. We took pictures for Christmas cards. 10 fails, promises of donuts and sugars and we finally got a good one. No this is not it ;)

14. Oh and I tried making potato pancakes and they came out horrible. So horrible we ate pb&J.

Oh the joys of pinterest. Not everything is a winner everytime.


Love A

Happy halloween!!!

Today is halloween and surprisingly I had an awesome time.

You see, I didn't grew up with halloween, back home you get bags of candy on Saint of the Children's day and you dress up for Carnival. So halloween has always been kind of odd to me.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love dressing up the kids in costume and checking out the other kids in costumes. I love giving out candy and if I live in a neighborhood with lots of trick or treaters, I feel like I died and went to heaven. I don't complain about the kids not in costume and don't even care if they are too old to T&T. To me, if you are willing to walk, I will gladly  hand you a candy, because you see.....I despise walking the kids around on halloween. I can't stand it. I much rather sit on my front porch, sipping a margarita and handing out candy while checking out the awesome costumes.

Dh loves taking the kids out so it works out, well except when he isn't home. I was dreading it having to bundle the kids up, walk around, reminding them over and over to say thank you and to stay on the sidewalk. I was going to miss out sitting on my ass checking out the costumes. No bueno!

The heavens must have listened. My friends husband decided this year he didn't want to stay home, he was going to take the kids and my friend was going to stay home and pass out the candy. I jumped at the opportunity to throw my kids at him. For the small cost of my famous cheesecake bites batch, he agreed, we shook on it and that was that.

I turned off my lights, grabbed my 5 bags of candy (my friend warned me this neighborhood has tons of trick or treaters) and off to her porch with my 2 munchikins I went. They left with instructions to turn up the cute and grab mommy lots of yummy stuff, and we stayed back talking. It was amazing. So many kids so many different costumes, I had a really great time. Gave away all the candy, my kids got a huge loot and some Jesus is your savior flyers (totally odd and halloween is not the time to preach but whatever).

Pinterest also came through again this year providing me with a simple cool thing to do for this uncrafty mom.

Last year it was halloween spiders:

this year it was frankenstein puddings.

So simple, yet so much fun. I got a ton of hugs and kisses for it.


Customary halloween picture (My kids and godchildren)

Oh so tired but oh so happy with the prospect of eating lbs and lbs of sugar.

One holiday down, one to go, and then hubby home for R&R for the 3rd one. I couldn't be happier.


Love A

Oh sooo close..

Everyone that is not friends with me on facebook has been asking whats up with my weight loss. I mean I created a whole new tab in this blog just to talk about it.

When I started this journey, I became obsessed. I would weigh, measure myself and my food, than I hit stalls and would freak out. "OMG this is not going to work for me. I am destined to be fat..blah blah blah".
Finally I got so busy I didn't have time to do all of this anymore that took so much out of my life.

Something extraordinary happened, the less I worried, the more I lost. I went to Brazil and indulged, I bought Cheetos for the first time in years and years and really enjoyed every single crumb and even licked my orange dusted fingers. I went out to lunch with friends and ordered whatever I pleased. Granted instead of a whole bag of chips I can maybe have a tiny bag, instead of appetizer, main course, and dessert, I can only manage appetizer, but it wasn't just boring healthy stuff. It was deep fried and delicious except now everything was on moderation. Life was good, and the scale was moving the right direction. I got 5 lbs away from goal and was so happy with myself, until of course I hit a stall and here I am. If we don't count these last 5lbs, I would have been at goal 9  months post op. 90 lbs lost. Except I been fighting with these 5lbs for 2 months now and they are not going anywhere. Everyone tells me I am at goal and to just be happy, and don't get me wrong, I am happy, this is the best thing I ever did in my life. I feel wonderful, have to so much energy and food doesn't control me anymore. Except, goal is goal and I am 5 lbs from goal.

Also, last night after surviving the storm of the century, I realized how I still turn to food. Last week at the supermarket if you were a little fly and could read thoughts you would see a woman standing in front of the containers of nutella going "Should I or shouldn't I??" Finally her little devil sitting on her shoulder said "I am going to buy nutella. I have lost almost 90 lbs, I am mature and have self control" and I happily walked to the cash register and paid for my purchases, including my beautiful jar of nutella that I hadn't bought in over a year. I completely forgot about it until last night. I was so stressed, I had 3 tablespoons of nutella. Now in the grand scheme of things, 3 tablespoons of nutella is not going to do it anything, its not like I am bathing in it and my pores are seeping it and turning into fat 24/7. But it just shocked me, how little self control I have and how food is still a comfort for me. I don't know if this is only a fat girl things, or even skinny people with amazing bodies, still use food for comfort??

Fear also creeped up. I don't want to go back to "the before". Not only for vanity reasons or the fact that I am really enjoying buying size 10's. I don't want to go back to the before, because in the before, that girl wasn't happy, she was depressed and not really living. A complete 180 from who she is today.

So, this morning I am back to the basics, lots of protein, lots of water and no nutella or cheetos for a while, because I set up to do something when I started this and that was to reach 150lbs and 155 is not 150. I know its close and all but its not goal.

Wish me luck :)

A

Before 240 lbs size 22-23, After:  11 months post op 155lbs size 10 or 8 depending on brand.

Thats just how I roll...

Dusting off the spiderwebs...

I haven't posted in anything in a while. Its not for lack of inspiration. I have about 4-5 half written posts saved.

I could have written this wonderful sippy cup review post that I made after realizing how many we have gone through ever since my kids have been out of bottles and because I care about you all, I wanted to save you some money.

I could have made another post about how I was the happiest mom the first day my child started kindergarden and all my fears of him riding the big yellow bus alone (even though the school is less than 3 miles from the house)

I could have made another post how I took cupcakes to his school the day before his birthday, and that ever other child from other kinder classes that were eating lunch at the same time we were celebrating my sons birthday, looked on with sad eyes like they also wanted a piece of cake.

I could have ranted about spending $60 on a beautiful fondant cake for ds's birthday that tasted like ass and no one liked it (even though I ordered from the highest rated bakery around here)

I could have made the same old same old post I make every year when my kids get old. I would have gotten sappy about my first born turning 6.

I could have written about my first deployment breakdown in which I whined about it on facebook and felt like an idiot (hey its been 6 months already usually the time we schedule R&R, but this year we decided to push it back so he could be home for Christmas and even tough I know its going to be worth it, finding the strength to survive another couple of months is becoming increasingly harder each day :()

I definitely could have talked about dd current obsession with Hello kitty, to the point that she refuses to wear anything besides kitty!

My mom being here for a week and half visiting and we having an amazing time, could have definitely made for an interesting post.

The fact that I already turned on my heater, pulled out my park and boots after the temps dropped into the low 50's, would have gotten a few laughs from you cold blooded people for sure.....

but I don't want to talk about any of that. Maybe later, maybe never who knows.

So to break my blogging sabbatical, I am going to leave you with a picture of food

This is chicken stroganoff. The best chicken stroganoff ever. Drool on =)


Love A

All about flip flops

Soon I will talk about the second part of my vacation and what led me to a crazy thought, but now I want to talk about flip flops.

I love flip flops. I really do, I live in them, have gotten married using them, have asked previous boss if I could wear them to work (sometimes yes sometimes no), I have flip flop magnets, keychains,

wine cups with flip flop designs, you name it. Flip flop rocks my world.

How cute is this magnet??

Or this keychain??


Just to give you an idea I have 1 pair of boots, 2 pair of sneakers, 4 sandals (2 brand new acquired) and over 10 pair of flip flops. I won't admit how many I have because you will be shocked, so lets just say way way over 10 ;)

After trying all kinds from different price ranges, I have narrowed it down to my favorite 3 and I would love to share with you in case you are in the market for a new pair.

3. Havaianas. Stop right now, you are pronouncing it wrong for sure its:  AH- VAI-(like vaio the laptop) ANAS (like the end of bananas).

 How could I not love them?? I am biased considering they are imported from my homeland and that is what everyone back home wears. Total brand pride. But its not just biased opinion, they are really amazing. A brand couldn't have been around for 50 years if they didn't rock everyone's world. Not only are they the cutest ever

Look at the pair I just picked up back home:


They are lightweight and very comfortable comes in various styles and pretty decent priced. Men, children, older adults, they all seem to love them.

2. Rainbows- I am sure I am going to get a lot of hate mail for putting rainbows on the number 2 spot instead of the number 1 spot, but I can't help myself. You see when I first bought my first pair of Rainbows I loved them. They were amazing and made me feel like I made a good investment. It was hard for this cheap ass to drop $50 on a pair of flip flops. But considering I use them so much, its an investment (at least that is what I tell my other half).

Rainbows are awesome. They really are and mine are worn thin. I have used them very much this part year of ownership. They suck in the beginning because you got to break them in so therefore you might get blisters for the first couple days, but after breaking them in, its like stepping on a cloud. They fit nicely on your feet, lightweight (a bit heavier than havaianas but not by much). They don't slip and slide when wet, in fact if feels like they grip on to your feet when wet.  If it wasn't for my number one choice I would definitely put rainbows at the number 1 spot..but..

1. Reefs. I can't say enough about these. More specifically reef fannings. You see I wasn't even in the market for new flip flops. I had my rainbows and was perfectly happy browsing Macys when I saw these :

(don't mind how beat up they are. I get a hell lot of use of them)

I decided to try them on, walked a couple of steps around the store and bought them. At about the same price of rainbows that was total splurge but I was sold on just a couple of steps. They are super comfortable, better for those of us that have wider feet, heavier than rainbows and definitely twice as heavy as havaianas, but don't let that discourage you. They don't feel heavy. At the end of the day even though I wore flip flops all the time, my feet still hurt. I have extremely flat feet (the reason why I prefer flip flops. They hurt less). Well at the end of the day even after walking  10-20 miles or more, I have no pain whatsoever. I got new blisters while in Brazil when I walked a good 15 miles one day from wearing my Rainbows, but no pain or blisters whatsoever when I wore my Reefs. The most amazing thing about Reef fannings is, right underneath each of them there is a bottle opener.


Crazy right!! It seems like a stupid thing and I really laughed at it and dh pointed and made fun of me when he saw it. Except that he tried on my reefs fell in love and bought himself a pair. Who would have thunk it that a couple months later he would be stuck in afghanistan with no bottle opener and trying to drink an old style coke bottle?? Oh yeah he is not laughing now. His reefs came in handy :)

 That is why they are number one in my book :)

I hope I helped you make a decision the next time you are in the market for some new flip flops :)


** Ignore how dirty and worn out my flip flops are. No new flip flops were provided for this review. This is my own thoughts only.
** Sorry if they are upside down, if you were expecting a perfect picture, you are in the wrong blog..lol

Do you have a favorite?? Maybe a new brand I haven't heard of it?? Feel free to share, I am all up about trying new flip flops :)

Love A