Oh so pretty...

One of the prettiest things in the world is organization. Everything neatly put together, memories treasured and stored with care so one day, hopefully our children will appreciate it.

When old age sets in and nostalgia kicks, I can easily pull out these albums and reminence our past. Pictures are extremely important to me. Growing up poor there is not a lot of pictures of me as a baby, so because we always tries to do better, my kids have a lot of pictures.

Without further ado here it is, a resolution completed, 700 pictures printed, sorted, obssessed, discarded, and put neatly away. It took me too long but I am finally caught up. 4 albums that each holds 300 pictures tells the memories of anyone willing to take the time to slow down and see, of our past 9 years.

(Yes I a still missing the front picture of each album, I cant make a decision. Too many that I love and want to display in that special spot, so for now it will stay open until hubby comes home and decides. He will probably decide on a picture of his toe to grace the cover of our albums and I will disagree and make a decision, but I am still waiting for him to get home)

That is mighty pretty :)

"D" day...

There are many pros to being an adult. Ice cream for dinner 3 nights a week?? Dont mind if I do.

Copious amount of coffee?? Check twice

Buying that cool shinny toy for absolute no other purpose than entertainment?? Oh yeahh

Doing adult things and actually making appointments that are good for your health?? uhh why did someone had to rain on my parade? barf!!!!

Well after 7 months without insurance and then acquiring a kick arse one, it was time to do the adult thing and stop the procrastination. I went to the doctor got blood work, I ordered new glasses, I went to the gyno and got a pap. All healthy and then , just then, the procrastination started. I made myself excuses, I brushed 7 times a day, I read, I slept, I did everything I could to not go. Finally I couldnt take anymore.
Everytime I ate my beloved ice cream there was pain. As much as I tried to ignore it just wasnt happening.

So after making an appt for 2 wks away. Hey any last chance I can procrastinate even more, thursday was D day. Or Dentist day.

I dont have a phobia about dentists, but at the same time I dont rush to go. It comes from my 13 yr old self and smart idea to watch every horror movie ever made. Even the C rated ones. Yep a couple of them were about dentist trips. Now, years later even though I am not afraid per say of shower curtains, I am not afraid of dentist. I just dont care to go.



Well everything went okay. Nothing crazy happened, no one pulled a saw machine and I am typing this from the otherworld, she didnt slip while cleaning, nothing like that. She did a great job, my mouth feel cleaner, I now have xrays and I was ready to pronounce this a success, until she started telling me my next step.

Oh no this visit wasnt going to be the end of it all. No!! Karma is still getting me for something. I am going to need 2 fillings and a trip to the orthodontist soon to pull out a baby tooth (Yep I got one, if that doesnt prove my level of maturity, I dont know what will ;) ) , and have a metal piece in my mouth with a chain attached to the tooth in my head, because he is crooked and wont come down on his own.

I almost bust out in tears. Yep I guess no more procrastination, I guess a couple more dental appointments are in my future. I can foresee lots of pain, cuss words and after this is taken care of years more of procrastination.

So, you might wonder how I dealt with the news, well I did the only mature thing I knew how to do. I ate ice cream for dinner, and whined to the only person that would listen to me. What are husbands for??

Love A

I miss him oh so much...

I miss my husband, not because I am needy, I am, not because I am dependant, I am, but because he makes life better.

There are many reasons why I miss him..

*Someone to give me kisses and hugs just because
* Someone to act as my personal heater
*Someone to help me reign in the children
*Someone to take out the garbage
*Someone to change the oil
*Someone to do the tango with while cooking dinner (what?? Not every couple does that??)
*Someone to talk to, bitch to, vent to, laugh with
*Someone to eat my spinach casserole even though it tastes like ass
*Someone to tell me to slow down(even though his foot is 10 times heavier than mine)
*Someone to move around furniture for the 5th time in a month without complaint *maybe a little grunt*
*Someone to call silly nicknames....creamy puffy sugar daddy anyone??

etc, etc, and etc.

There are many reasons I miss him, but the one I miss the most today is his nerdiness (is that not a word?? Oh well I consider it one. Nerdiness aka a big nerd ;) ). Just look at this picture :



(Yes I realize this is not the best shot of him in order to portray his high level of nerd, but play along)

He is a nerd. Not the play WofW, read comic books, split atoms in his spare time kind of nerd. Noooo!!!! He has earned the title of nerd because of the easiness he has when it comes to computer or anything computer related. (yes maybe he doesnt know crap about computers (he says it all the time. He is very modest) but compared to me I think he is a computer guru. Haven't you ever heard the saying "On the island of blind man, a one eye man is king"??) but that is not here or there.

Not only can he download every single movie, audiobook or song for free, he knows how to convert the files back and forth and throw them in his i touch with one eye closed.

Sitting here spending hrs trying to transfer books into my kindle and debating on paying $29 for a podcast of the latest book I want because I am sick and tired of listening to Limp Biskit while pounding the pavement aka treadmill, I once again for the millionth time today miss my nerd.

Love A

It wasnt me...

I promise it wasnt me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes yesterday my son threw the biggest tantrum I have ever seen in my life when I picked him up from school. This episode was horrible. I went to pick him up the teacher had a bag of lollipops, she wouldnt give him one because he didnt listen good. No treat. Fine by me and usually its fine by him, but not yesterday. OMG he threw himself on the ground, kicked and screamed like he done lost his mind. I had to drag him out of school under the stares of the ever so perfect judgmental moms. I was so embarrassed. It was horrible and something I am still shaking about it on the inside.

After numerous threats, lots of privileges taken away, he got sent to school again today with specific instructions to never ever do that again. Well halfway through the day I get a call. That number is programed in my phone, as soon as it pops up in the caller id I sit down expecting the worse.

Well it wasnt too bad. He was playing tripped and tasted a bookcase. His teeth were checked and were okay but he got a pretty nasty fat lip. Not a problem. I picked him up and made sure this time I kept the accident report. Usually its tossed. He is a boy, he will get hurt, not a biggie but because of the episode the day before, I wanted to make sure I kept it just to prove: "It wasnt me..." ;)

So yeahh, I am spent. I am tired, exhausted, school starts next week, and the elastic on my big girl panties broke from pulling them up so much. I want to lock myself in a closet with a bottle of rum garnished with some xanax and watch the pink ponies fly by. If I am at this stage that can only mean one thing.....R&R is close :)

Not as close as I would like to say but its around the corner. I can feel the anticipation starting to creep up, but I can also feel my patience starting to slip. Its normal and it happens, so for the next couple days if I am extremely whiney and bitchy, please excuse me. I have hit a rut and will have to somehow mend those elastic so I can once again pull up my big girl panties and survive the next 2 months with grace instead of a blubbering mess on the floor.

Love A

Almost wordless Friday

Around here no matter how old you are, the fact you still wear diapers, or the fact you cant talk yet. You are old enough to make a mess, you are old enough to help out or at least believe you are helping ;)

Books, Books & more Books.

At the beginning of 2010 I said I was going to read 100 books before the end of the year. I didnt make it to 100. I fell a little bit short. Shocker..lol. Anyways here is all the books I read in 2010. I am not going to post all of my opnions or reviews about them but I am going to reccomend a couple.

Today right now you need to go out and read : "Redeeming Love" , "The Help", "The red tent" and "The Christmas List".

Those are necessary for your life. They will enrich your life in so many ways. After you finish reading them you will thank me for recommended such amazing books.

So here they are in all their glory :


1-Stiff: the curious life of human cadavers
2. Just Breath
3. Dead until dark
4. Good luck
5. The Christmas list
6. Undead and Unwed
7. not easily broken
8. Marked House of night book 1.
9. Big girls (woman in jail killing kids)
10. Love the one you are with
11. Pieces of my sisters life
12. House of night book 2
13. Nearly weds
14. The first part last
15. Rachel's holiday
16. House of night book 3
17. the perks of being wallflower
18. The truth about forever
19. Nobody but this baby of mine
20. This love of mine
21. If I am missing or dead
22. Flower's in the attic
23: Petals on the wind
24. Being Committed
25. House of night book 4
26. You suck
27. Queen of babble gets hitched
28. thirteen reasons why
29. stori telling
30 godmother.
31 the last song
32. Still Missing
33. House of Night book 5
34. House of Night 6
35. House of night 7
36; Redeeming Love
37: How to be lost
38. Big girls
39. The red tent
40. Before I fall
41. Someone like you
42. Best friends forever
43. 29 a Novel
44. The help


This year I have big plans in terms of reading. I just got one of these bad boys :



so the possibility are endless considering kindles have just started book lending and all my friends have one. Chicken bow wow. So I wont make any plans to read 100 this year, I wish I had the time, but I will definitely be reading a lot :)

Resolutions....

What else does the whole think as that clock strikes midnight and its the beginning of the new year?? Resolutions of course. Everyone is making them left and right trying to improve their body, minds and soul for the new year. New years brings hope that this year we will finally achieve what we want, be who we are, no doubts about it.

I have made countless resolutions through out the years and by January 15th most of them have been broken. I expect too much, am too hard on myself, I am truly my worst critic. No more. This year I am taking it slow, if it means I fall so be it, I pick myself off dust myself off, and keep on going.

My 2 main one this year is the same as years past. I need to kick this smoking habit and loose some weight.

I just lost 15 lbs and feel wonderful, I want to keep at it. No I probably wont be a size 8 by the end of this year, that is okay. Another 30 lbs will be a success.

I also need to quit smoking. I am destroying my body, its not necessary. Its a nasty habit. So many times we said we would, so many patches were brought, so many tears were shed and the longest we lasted was 2 wks in July. We survived the worst of it and then went back to it. Seriously?? Pathetic.

So this year I decided to not look back and let my past cloud my present and future. Yeah I failed millions of times before, but that doesnt mean I wont ever succeed it just means I need to keep trying harder.

So today is January 2 yesterday I smoked 5 cigs, and today 3. That to me is a great thing. From a pack a day to down to 5 a day is success not failure. If I can keep this up of 5 a day for the next couple days then I can drop to 4,3,2,1 and then finally be smoke free. I truly hope so. I think this year I will succeed because I am doing it slowly. Every other year I would have kicked myself down and felt like an idiot and then went back to smoking. Well that was idiotic. Not this time. Slowly I will win the race.

In terms of weight loss its one hour at a time, eat time I take a bite I am trying to make better decisions. Monday will bring gym time again. I need to drag myself there everyday. I know if I make it through the doors, I will get in a good workout, all I have to do is make it.

I of course have other resolutions and things I am hopeful for, but these are the main ones that I need to do it.

So as you all embark in yours, I wish you the best of luck. It cant be easy.

Love A

HAPPY NEW YEAR :)

2010 was a crazy year. From leaving the military, to living with my parents, to dh going to Kuwait, coming back, being out of job, living with our friends, to going absolutely insane, to having our patience tested, our love, our faith, to dh scoring a quick arse job in Afghanistan, to moving alone with 2 kids, to spending Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas and now New Years alone, to paying off bills, to try to stabilize ourselves in a shaky ground. Its been crazy to say the least.
2011 is looking very good. Dh will come home for R&R, I will once start school again, we will completely be out of debt, and I will turn 30 eeek!!!!

I hope 2011 brings everyone extremely amazing things. I am hopeful and I hope you are too :)

Love A

Merry Christmas =)

When you are doing the chicken bow wow, you never think that the happy moments will lead to a pregnancy, that will lead to a child, that the child will be 4 and ask you questions about Christmas and you have to somehow convey to a 4 who still believe in dinosaurs that there is a God, a Jesus, today is Jesus birthday and that there is also a jolly fellow that brings presents. How to explain all that that they will one day

A. Dont think you flat out lied to them


B. Keep focus on what is important about Christmas

and C. Keep the magic alive



Its a hard task. So on the way to my parents we tackled the conversation again


Me: You know where we are going and what we are doing right Tyler??

TY: Yes mama. We are going to nana and papas to celebrate Christmas. Jesus birthday, get presents from santa and eat a lot.

ME: (this is going good). Yes today is Jesus birthday, son of God. We love him very much he loves us, so he wanted us to have presents on his birthday. But presents is not the really important thing. The fact that is his birthday today is what is important.

Ty: My video game that santa will bring is important.

Me: yes it is important to you but not as important as having a love Jesus that loves you.

Ty: Yep and if you die you see God

Me: uhh yeah you are right

Ty: Yep when you die like Pepe (my mothers dog that just passed away) balloons come up and take you up to the sky, high and high and high. You will see dinosaurs and live with God.

ME: Uh very true

Ty: and when I die, and when baby dies balloons will come to take us up to the sky. When you die we will need a lot of balloons too.

ME; Yes because I am bigger but I am hoping its not for a long long time.

Ty: not too long because I want to meet God. OH and if daddy or papa misses us, they can just throw some beans in the ground, grow a big tree climb up and go see us.

Me: uhh okay that is true..

TY" and if nana misses us, she can either climb the tree too or use the airplane to go to brazil and stop over

ME: Sounds like a plan but not for a long long time away.

Ty: Oh mommy I hope not too far. I soo want to meet God and this son of his that have a birthday and likes us to have his presents. He is a very cool guy because on my birthday I dont love anyone enough to give my presents..

So yep, that was our conversation. I dont know if its mission accomplished or mission failed , all I do know is that I had to bite my tongue from laughing so hard. To me it was funny and when I tell dh tonight, he will also laugh and I will laugh again.

Just for the comedy grade I give it a 10. The rest only time will tell!




Much love and Merry Christmas everyone

There is always a bright side....

You know what is the bright side of having a deployed husband and double inner and outer ear infection a couple days before Christmas?? No one expects you to do anything.

Any other year and I would have a list of things to bake since my parents dont like to bake and the husband requests a couple of american traditions because even though he loves our traditions, sometimes he just has to have a peanut butter burger on Christmas eve to kind of not loose a sense of himself.

Also Christmas eve brings in slave labor from my parents. I have to peel garlic, pounds and pounds of garlic (where do you think my mentality of "there is never enough garlic comes from??"), peel lbs of onions, dice tomatoes, hundreds of green peppers, enough potatoes to feed a small army do loads and loads of dishes.

My father is a jack of many trades. For a while, one of his jobs was cooking for a restaurant. He already had no concept of how much food is really necessary for 4 adults and 2 children,and after that job it just got worse. He doesnt understand we do not need a 12 lb ham, 9 lbs of cod, and a tender for just the 6 of us. Growing up very poor with 3 siblings and never enough food does that to a person I guess.

So anyways back on track, I have a lot of slave labor every Christmas eve.

This year dh being deployed pilled on to the fact I have this nasty: no fever-havent been sick in a while-how the fuck do I have a ear infection- thank God its not a bug that decided to take home in there-for the 20th million time "No Tyler I didnt stick anything in my ear unlike you -is beyond me, I have been informed I had to do absolutely nothing. I just had to show up with an empty stomach.

Angels are singing and the people of Nepal heard my joyous screams. For the first time in my 29 yrs I get to be lazy on Christmas eve. I am going to enjoy every second of it and not feel guilty at all. I use to dream of this day many year ago, thousands of miles away, when I was an 8 yr old crying because I had a cut in my hand and 22lbs of onions to peel. So yep I will enjoy it :) My only task will be to dodge my mother and her insane year after year chasing us with her fruitcake thinking that if we just take one bite we will love it so much like her.

Now I wish I didnt bake anything, but looking at other peoples plan, got me excited so I decided to make brownies for the kids. It would be a shame if I didnt bake at least one thing for Christmas. I wouldnt feel right in the world. So I made brownies for the kids, and my children sat in front of the stove and watched it. Its their favorite pass time. Too bad for them that was the only thing I was going to make ;)





Love

A