Tuesday, March 24, 2009

***Decisions********

While a couple important things have happened, these past couple of weeks in my life has been all about me trying to decide where will my life go next.

I did get my interview scheduled for my naturalization. May 7th I will go in and take the test and swear and become a US citizen. To be able to put this behind me and not have to deal with USCIS again will be a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I cant wait.

I have also decided I need a degree. We are supossed to be here for 3 years, plenty of time for me to buckle down and get a bachelors in something. My issue? I have no clue what. I have finally decided nursing is not for me. No matter how much I want, think I would be good at, is a good paying job and secure, its not for me. So back to the drawing board I go trying to figure what the hell in the world would make me happy. I was thinking Spanish teacher, but to teach forever I dont know. Then maybe bussiness in healthcare management, but I really dont know. I dont have a passion for absolutly nothing and that is so sad and pathetic. Until I figure out what I want to do, I keep taking classes and wasting time and money and the more time passes the more depressed about this whole thing I get. Its a vicious cycle :(.

The kids are doing good. Ty is a trip latetly with all the stuff he is learning. His favorite new phrase is "not yet". Anything you ask him he will answer with "not yet" even if "not yet" is not an acceptable answer. He has been doing great with the potty training and by next month we should be able to send him to preschool if thinks works out with Scottys job.
Ju is still not smiling at almost 7 wks old. That is upsetting me so much. I dont know why. I think its the hormones and this new antidepressant. Who knows? I just know that right now taking care of my husband/house/kids are the only thing that gives me a sense of accomplishment since professionally, I am not going anywhere. So the fact that she is not smiling makes me think she is not happy at all which breaks my heart in a million pieces. I trully do hope she will smile soon. I dont know how much more of this I can take :(. Asides from that, she is doing great. She eats, sleeps and has a pretty good personality. TY is up her face all day long and she takes it in stride. always checking him out and never crying even when I know he is bugging her.

Now on to Scotty. Ohh my lovelly husband. I love him with all my heart and we have been getting along great, but he is not doing too good either.
He is in a unit that he wont deploy for 3 yrs but on he other hand, they are an EOD unit and dont have that many trucks so he doesnt get to turn wrenches. He has the choice to go to a unit that has a very quick rotation (82nd) but he will get to turn wrenches. We had a very long heart to heart and he did explain to me that when he deployed last time, because he was leaving rigth before Ty was born, he convinced himself it was for the best and he needed to take care of his country and I guess he did such a good job at convincing himself, that now he cant let it go. He is extremelly happy he is here for Ju and have gotten to experience this phase, but at the same time he is feeling uselless. Being a soldier, part of your job is to deploy and he figures he is not doing his job, on top of being in a unit where hey doesnt turn wrenches and doesnt get to show his abilities, he is pretty misserable.
I will support him in whatever he wants to do. I understand where he is coming from and even though a deployment will suck with 2 kids, I can do it.

So that is pretty much what has been going on. I am trying to decide if I want to become an FCC provider since we need extra income to pay off cc's and that way I can make tha extra money and stay at home with the kids or not. I think I am going to do the course (1 wk in may) just to have it. If he does change units and deploy, I will have to give my all to the kids since they will only have one parent, so working will be out of the quesion. If he doesnt change units , then I will start taking care of kids and hopefully get out of the cc's because they are bugging me.

So we will see. I been trying to have faith and know everything will somehow work itself out, and some days I do such a good job, other days I am just barerlly holding it.

Whatever will be will be right?

xoxox
A

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Happy birthday to you....

Happy birthday dear Juliet. Happy birthday to you ...yepppieeeeee!



(WARNING: NEW MOTHER GUSHING ABOUT HER DAUGTHER. PROCEED WITH CAUTION :))

Yep. Today is Juliets birthday. She is 1 month old :)
I have been getting all teary eyed latetly that the time has been flying and she is growing up so fast and never again will she this tiny. I am also excited she is growing healthy and soon the milestones will come and make me happy, but its a bitter sweet moment.
So anyways, she is about 20 inches, 9.5 lbs and just a bundle of joy. She is extremelly healthy and have no problems at all. How can we be so blessed is beyond me.
She is adorable at this young. She has this thing where she purs when she is sleeping. I was sure she was congested. When we went for her appointment, the doc said its just them learning how to breath. Her chest is absolutly clean. Its just normal. Well Scotty is always messing with her. He says she sounds like a pager on vibrate on top of a table...purrrrpurrrpurrpurrrpurrr. All night long. We have gotten so used to it, I will definetly miss it when it stops.
Another thing is, I was sure she was going to smile today. See, she only smiles once and that is at night right after she have eaten and burped, she will let out this huge smile and then pass out and the purring will start. She doesnt smile at any other time. Only at night. Today I was hoping she was going to smile since its her birthday and all, but nope no luck.I think she will just surprise me..lol.
I cant complain about anything. She is such an easy baby.
She is a good sleeper/eater. Sometimes she will sleep through the night (5 or 6 hrs straight), other nights she is up every 4 hrs on the dot. Also, during the day I bring her to the living room with us because I hate leaving her byherself. She is part of the family. So I will either bring her bassinet or she will be sleeping on her swing. Its unbeliveable how used she is to our house. Tyler will scream, the tv will be on, I will be vaccuming and even have the mixer on. Nothing fazes her. she will just keep on sleeping. Also when Tyler screams or throws a tantrum, she wont even startle or nothing. She will just open her eyes check things out and then go back to sleeping. I think she got used to it all while in utero..lmfao.
During the day, you can time your watch to her eating. She will be completetly passed out, as soon as that 4 hrs hit, she will be up whinning to eat. She doesnt really cry. I dont think I have seen a tear on her (Thank God). She will just whine louder and louder and start sucking on her hand when she is hungry.
She will eat anywhere between 4-6oz. Right now the avarage is 5. She will get mad for half oz. Its funny cause sometimes we will feed her 4.5 oz thinking its enough, well its not. She will whine then we give her more. She will eat her .5 oz and then pass out. She will also pucker up her lips when she is done. Too cute. I am completly smitten and in love. I thank God everyday for her. She is a pain in the arse to burp for me. She will eat in less than 20 minutes but take a while to burp. Sometimes its 4 am and I have done feeding her and will be sitting there patting and patting and nothing. Finally I am so exhausted and wake up Scotty. He taps for less than 20 seconds and out comes a huge burp. Absolutly unbeliveable. He has been so proud of the fact he can burp her better than me, I adore that he has that since he missed so much with Ty.

I havent decided yet when to do professional pictures. Right now she sleeps so much and its so young, I think I might wait until she is a bit older. We will see.

Well that is enough gushing for now :) I will update about her as time goes on.

I hope everyone is okay and not too frozen.

love
A