Sunday, May 29, 2011

Happy Memorial Day!!!!

Today I wont go to a cemetery, I wont laid down flowers on the many tombs and I wont shed any tears.
I wont do none of that because I know that our fallen are not there. Their bodies might be, but their souls are up there watching us. They died for our freedom and to protect our happiness.

So, today I will go to a bbq at the beach with some friends, I will enjoy sunshine, good food and the companion of many because to me that is the only way to honor the fallen. Not by being sad, but by enjoying life and freedom to the fullest. The only way to honor the dead is to live.
They fought hard and paid the ultimate sacrifice so I can have all kinds of freedom. Therefore the only thing I can do, is accept that wonderful gift and enjoy it to the fullest. I will make them happy by showing them I am happy. I will enjoy my day of all good things, not only for me but for them too. I am sure that will make all them up there rejoice.

Thank you guys, because of your sacrifice I can live my life to the fullest, I will do that today even more than any other day and I will drink a cold one just for you ;)

So everyone, Have a wonderful, happy memorial day weekend, not just for yourself but for the many that made it possible :)

Love A

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

New color...maybe????

I am 29, 30 is right around the corner and I have never dyed my hair before. I have highlighted, dyed with Kool-Aid but never really dyed my hair like a grown up. I am in desperate need of a change considering I look the same since hs.

No more, I packed up Ju and to Walgreens we went. I looked at hundreds of colors and most of them were permanent. With fears of not liking it and considering this was my first time ever doing it, I decided to go with something that goes away in 28 washes.

My options were considerably less, but no way I was going to get out of there without a color. If I was going to do this it had to be done then and there or I would chicken out. So since my choices were blonde, black, or red-ish brown, I decided to go with red-ish brown.

After the kids were in bed, I sat on my vanity. I have a huge vanity but only one sink, how stupid is that?? Anyways, I took my clothes off and threw them on the floor, read the directions 5 times before starting, put on the gloves and went to work.

Lets just say there is spots all over my floor, mirror, toilet, sink, and my clothes that were on the floor are actually now soaking. Graceful I am not. Asides from that and the huge dark mark I have on my wrist, it was a success. Except it wasn't.

I still have all my hair, it doesnt smell funny or feel like straw, but I don't really notice the difference. Dont get me wrong there is a tint to it, but so not what I was expecting. Oh well it comes out in 28 washes and in 3 months I can do it again. I am thinking black next time. If you got to do something, do it major... :)

So even though I didnt get the results I wanted, I am extremely happy I did something I have never done before. That alone was worth the money and mess.

Love A

Sunday, May 15, 2011

$200k ?? Nahh you can keep it...

This is how the conversation went...

Hubby: Babe I got offered a new contract..

Me: Okay...that is awesome. Tell me east coast..

Hubby: Not really

Me: well I am open minded I can deal with a lot of places..

Hubby: its in Pakistan

Me: No...hell no!!!

Hubby: but babe..

Me: hell no...don't even think about it..

Hubby: but babe is 200k for the year..

Me: Hell .....say what?? as in almost quarter of a million dollars?? uhhh...uhhh...

And that ladies and gentleman is how I became the first person I know to turn down 200k!!!

One thing you don't ask a woman with a deployed husband is if she is willing to have him gone longer than expected. Heck even a day late homecoming can be the end of the world.
If he had been home for 7 yrs driving me insane, I would have probably jumped at the opportunity but the fact he is deployed and I am missing him so much I cant say yes to. Also the major consideration is , its dangerous. No military base, nothing. He would be on his own. Not worth it at all, not to mention, even though I like to believe our marriage is strong, 2 years apart can really take a toll and I am not willing to risk it, even for that much. And that is not even counting what it would do to the kids.

Its just crazy how life twists and turns, last year in the middle of all our debt, I was willing to sell a kidney for 40k and a pinky for considerably less, yet now a year later, since we are out of debt completely (Gosh I cant get over how good that feels), we are turning away this much.

Hilarious though, is that I ask for the east coast of the US and someone offers Pakistan. Someone upstairs is having a laugh at So back to the drawing board we go, starting to stress because we haven't had any bites on his resume yet, probably paying someone to revamp it and hoping and praying. All we want is 40-50K in a job that he doesn't have to be gone for more than 1 month at a time. IS that too much to ask?? We just want stability and normalcy. No more extremely long separations.

So as this deployments nears its end (we still got a good 4 months to go, but I am looking at it as is almost over), the stress is starting to set in. I need to know where we are going, so hopefully we can start looking at buying our first home, signing up Tyler for preschool and just settling down for a bit and find boring, because boring sounds amazing right now.

We turned this job down and I feel good about it. Its not what we want right now in life, I just hope its the right decision.

Oh and don't worry about the uncontrollable sobbing sounds you are hearing right now, that is just my alter ego, you know, the one that is dreaming of absolutely no mortgage and a fendi purse to boot, crying her eyes out.

I will shut her up with a cupcake ;)

Love A

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Bienvenidos a Miami....:)

After stopping at my parents house to feed their pets (they are up to 4..turtle, bunny, parrot and Chihuahua) since they donned on their leather vests and took the bike up to Port Charlotte (way north Florida), and another pit stop at Dunkin Donuts for some pick me up ice coffee, our excursion this weekend took us to Miami. More specific Miami Children's Museum.

I absolutetly love Miami. The vibe, the strong smell of salt water, the pink buildings, the palm trees, everyone carrying fendi's and bumping into one Lamborghini after the other is just too cool. I dont go often because asides from being about 40 miles south of where I live, Miami's traffic is one of the worst. Its not worst than Houston, but the drivers are. Also 99% of the exits off the highway in Florida are on the right hand side, once you get to Miami, they have half on the right half on the left. We are not used to that, including yours trully. So you can only imagine how often I get lost and how many times my stupid Garmin uttered "recalculating" with an attitude. Then there is the other rude drivers, they will pull up in front of you, cut you off, slam on their breaks. Just rude rude, but considering I have been in a good mood for the past couple of days and have been so calm, it felt like the right time to go.

I have been to the museum once about 15 years ago when I was in middle school. They have renovated and I been dying to take the kids.But first we made a pit stop at The port of Miami. The kids had a blast seeing all the big cruise ships. It was amazing.
Then on to the museum which also had a big section dedicated to the cruise ships.It took everything in me to pry the kids away from "steering" the big ship and get them to look at other stuff. Also right now they are having "Mr Potato head" exhibit. So the kids went nuts over that, they also loved all the hands on stuff. From the supermarket, to the dentist chair, to the bank, and everything in between. Tyler's favorite was definitely the police station. Ju loved the supermarket. She parked the shopping cart by the chickens and filled it up. She wanted nothing to do with anything else except those chickens. She was rubbing and caressing them and throwing them on the cart. Very disturbing and I have no idea where she got it from because never once have I fondled a chicken at the supermarket.

Anyways, after spending hours at the museum, having a yummy lunch, I decided to take the long way home. I drove up A1A (the last street east before the beach) and we went through South Beach. If you have never been you should really experience it. Where else in the world can you get a cuban cofee, find a Santeria shop and be behind Taylor Swift's tour bus in traffic??
Its just a mesh of cultures and types, always good for a laugh, not to mention all the eye candy. Shirts are optional in South Beach and most guys take that to heart. Just be careful, it is South Beach and do a double take, cause you might be staring at a hot guy and then find out its actually a woman :O

I am just happy its one more week down and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for this deployment. We only got about 30% to go. Thank God :)

Here are some pictures :

Friday, May 13, 2011

Turning on a new leaf...hopefully!!!!!!

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
~Alan Cohen

I like to think one of my best characteristics is I am a good friend. Being an only child, I have become very close to my friends. I value a good friendship and in turn I really try to be the best friend ever. I return calls, ask about their family, just an example of what a good friend is. Having and being a good friend is necessary for my happiness.

Well I have been kind of a hypocrite lately. I have talked shit about one of my most important friends. I have put her down, degraded her, mistreated her, laughed at her dreams and just loathed her in general. And this wasn't a one time thing, this was an every day thing. I was cruel. Just thinking about it makes me weepy.

All of my other friends I was the completely polar opposite of it. Even if their dreams sounded insane, I cheered them on and had faith on them, I quietly listened and tried to give the best advice possible when advice was necessary. I have shared many laughs and loaned my shoulder many times for them to cry on.

This friend that I have been evil to, I told her to stop being stupid and strop crying, I never listened to her heart and was just a cold bitch to her.

HOW COULD I HAVE TREATED MYSELF THAT BAD WHEN I TREAT MY FRIENDS LIKE GOLD?? Why don't I deserve the same consideration I give to my other friends?? Why is that I am always putting myself down??

I need to be my best friend. Better than I can be to anyone else. I need to stop critiquing my self, and actually become my number 1 cheerleader. My husband cant be my number 1 cheerleader. I need to be one for myself. If I don't believe in myself, why should anyone else??

I also need to be more positive about my body, believe in my dreams. I have such an easy time having faith and believe in everyone else's dream and yet my own I have an ability to shut them off and burry them because it seems stupid.
I would never say to a friend the things I say to myself, its cruel and evil. Why do I ever think its okay to think them??

I cant even remember the last time I praised myself, but I bet this morning when I stepped on the scale I put myself down. Not cool. I bet my body despises me for all the put down I have done over the years and unfortunately I am not alone.

From the housewife to the CEO, from the child to the teen, we all do it at some degree. We say evil mean things we would never say to our worst enemy. We don't praise ourselves, or love ourselves enough. We have become a society that thinks looks is more important than character. As long as you look good, you are a good person.
Oh and if you don't, don't worry, there is an easy fix for that. From the many plastic surgery options, to all the muds and wrap treatments, to the 8 year old getting waxed and botox. Yep you heard that right!!!

What kind of message are we sending to our kids?? Who in the world thinks an 8 yr old needs botox because of wrinkles??

That is not how I want to raise my daughter. I want to raise her to have confidence and self worth, but how can I do that if I don't have it??

Well the good thing is "every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around" (little movie trivia..which movie is that from??) So therefore I got time, if I work at it, I can maybe find some confidence and some self worth and in turn teach to her.

So from now on, I will become my absolute best friend. I will praise myself, love myself and not utter one mean word to myself. I will trust my instincts and believe in my dreams.

I know it wont be easy, but I will get there even if I have to fake until I make it :)

Love A

Friday, May 6, 2011

From dip to liquor and all in between...

It all started with a simple chat with the bestie. We were talking about dips and she mentioned that her favorite is cream cheese & chili, nuked on the microwave and eaten with Frito chips. Considering we have very similar taste buds (asides from a few oddities..she hates sea food. How we are still friends after 13 yrs I have no clue), I decided that sounded very good and since I never had before and had no plans for friday night, I was going to make this dip and watch a movie. I would have invited her, except 17 hrs is too far to drive just for dips and a movie.

Also, down the road they opened a new Total Wine. If you haven't been, picture a Walmart, but instead of the great value stuff and plastic toys, there is aisles and aisles of all kinds of liquor, wine and beer you could possibly want. On my way to pick up Tyler a lightbulb went on and I decided beer would go down so good with some chips and dip. A dangerous u-turn and I was on my way.

After loading Ju and her ugly baby (another post for another day) on the shopping cart, I started to browse. I was in awe. I have never seen such a vast selection in my life. From gallon size containers of margaritas to adorable little bottles of mudslide. This is just too much to take in.

Down by aisle 2 I see a wine tasting table. Ever since I discovered that not all wine tasted bitter like my fathers beloved porto, or cavity sweet like my aunts favorite white, I have had a love affair with wine. Finding the right one is a pain. I have drank so many $6 bottles of crappy wine,and after one too many headache my love affair was over and we went on no speaking terms for years.

I decided to stalk this wine tasting table for a bit. I acted extremely engrossed in a bottle of white chocolate vodka, while having my ears peaked up and listening to the other people stop by and begin their tasting. I noticed after a couple of tasting of different wines, everyone left with a bottle. Now my curiosity was piked, I was going to stand in line and participate in this wine tasting. With baby and baby's baby in town. Classy I know :)

As soon as the lady before me finished "oohhing and ahhhing" and grabbed 2 bottles and happilly skipped to the cashier, it was my turn.
I approached the lady, explained I broke up with wine a couple years ago because I could never find a good one, but that I missed it. After answering a few questions stating that I prefer red over white. I dont like porto and I would like to be able to drink a bottle without a necessary visit to the dentist.

She told me today was my lucky day. It was Italian wine day and how Italian wine is just what I am looking for, then she began to pour. I tasted the first and liked it but didnt like the after taste, I tasted 3 more and by then I was confused. I already had 2 that I had enjoyed so much but she wouldn't let me leave until I tasted them all because she said she wanted me to be extremely happy with my purchase and develop a brand new love affair for wine. I guess my "Oh this is good" face wasnt good enough.

After 2 more tasting I knew what she was talking about or maybe it was that I had already had what equals to a full glass of tasting on a empty stomach, but this one tasted divine. Just absolutely divine. It went down so smooth. Jackpot.

I grabbed a bottle and started browsing. Big mistake. I contained my self. I grabbed a 6 pack of Labatt blue beer and started walking back to the front of the store where the cashiers are located. Then I stumbled upon the aisles of vodka.

I sound like a kid in a candy store, I know. But either I was too poor and only knew about the very slim selection of Walmart and the Military class VI, or what. This aisle of vodka has rows and rows of shiny new vodka. Having always been a fan of Grey Goose or Absolut (no I cant drink pure vodka alone. I am not there yet ;)), I was shocked to see so many different brands and the difference in flavors?? I had heard of vanilla, and orange vodka. Well they have banana, peach, cranberry, pomegranate, mango, almond, chocolate, white mocha, coffee (can I substitute that for my coffee in the morning???), and so on. It was totally eye opening. I couldn't let this opportunity pass, I had to broaden my horizons, so a bottle of pomegranate vodka went into the cart. Okay this was it. I was going to pay for my beer, wine and vodka and leave.

2 steps before the cashier and I find this display of adorable mini bottles. A total marketing strategy. So many mini bottles of all different kinds of liquors and right before you are about to pay for your purchase. Being a huge fan of anything mini and knowing I am going to be drinking alone, and everything priced under $1. I was done for it before I even had a chance to process it. I grabbed a bottle of mini mudslide (that I enjoy once in a while and not in immense quantities, a little bottle of coconut something (I love anything coconut) and a little bottle of cranberry vodka.

Finally no more marketing strategies, I was able to walk to the cashier, pay for my purchases, and leave.

I must say the dip was absolutely delicious, the beer went down smooth, the movie was okay. I watched "Conviction" with Hillary Swank. I have a strong dislike of her ever since she ruined "PS I love you" for me. If I got over who was playing, it was an interesting movie. All in all a great night.

Now I must warn you, if you do decide to visit a liquor store soon, please share with me your favorites. I am always open to new ideas and need a little help to get me through the next million weekends I have left.
And please DON'T WORRY.Whenever I drink ,the only heavy machinery I operate is the remote, and the fork. I haven't hurt myself with those yet....knock on wood =)

Love A

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The art of punishment...

Everyone wants well behaved children, who listen, never disrespect you, always answers when you call, keeps their room clean, and are just a joy to be around.

If you are looking for that, might I suggest one of these. A look alike life baby doll :)

For the rest of us that have been blessed with children that will push their limits at every chance they get, will walk off stomping while you are talking to them, will embarrass you, pinch their siblings and throw their toys, just to drive you insane, there is punishment.

Before I had kids I said I was never going to spank, I was never going to scream, loose my temper, or threaten them with authority figures. Before I had kids, I had visions of walking down the aisles of a store, with well groomed, well behaved children, getting praises left and right from everyone that crossed our paths. I was committed to being a good mom of wonderfully well behaved children, and I was going to get that. My children screaming and throwing a fit in the middle of the store and everyone judging me?? I don't think so. Before I had kids, I was the best mother around.

Well life happened, my sweet cuddly babies who were extremely easy going, turned into little monsters with sass and attitude. The tantrums started and with every new phase of development arrived a new set of issues. They learned how to walk?? Great but that means they learned how to touch things they weren't allowed.
They learned how to talk?? Yes they learned how to say "I love you" and make me melt but they also learned the dreaded "No" and that was accompanied by a little wiggly finger saying "No no no" and so forth.

Punishment had to happen. I tried everything, the husband and I spent hours watching reruns of super nanny. Time outs, getting down to their level, following thru with a punishment, calm stable voice, praises for good behavior, time out chairs. Oh God I could regurgitate all of it in my sleep.
Some of it worked, some only served as entertainment for the kids.

I dont like to say my son is smart. I don't think smart is the word I am looking for and it doesn't fit him. No he doesn't know composers or the capital of Thailand at 4 yrs. old. So the word I am looking for is more like useful and adaptable. Let me explain..
we send him to his room as punishment, after throwing a fit he is quiet, we go check on him and he is entertaining himself with the hangers. So the next time we send him to his room, we have removed the hangers, and what has he done?? He removed the knob from his dresser and was playing with it.

Clearly this punishment wasn't working, so we decided to keep him close to us. His new time out spot was sitting in the kitchen with absolutely nothing around. For a while this works, its a new place, he cant move, there is nothing around. Then he adapts, and finds some lint in his pocket and makes a game of the lint being little policeman and the lines on the tile, are their roads, and before long, he is so engrossed in his game, he is laughing and having fun. Once again he has outsmarted us.

So we started trying to get creative and taking things away. It only works for a while before he decides a toy he hasn't see in a while is more important than his shinny new motorcycle that mommy confiscated.

At the end, we resorted to butt spanking. I hate it. I got spanked as a child and promised I would never do that to my children, well I also didn't believe I would have children that doesn't listen, and besides I survived and I am respectful of my elders, and have somewhat good manners. I guess its a trade off. I might scar my child for life but at least he will be respectful and a good member of society and I am sure when he has kids, he will forgive me. So for extremely serious offenses, he gets a shoe to the bum. I am very careful and make sure I only hit the fat part of his butt. Not his back or anything else.

People say you shouldn't punish your child when you are angry. Uh when are you supposed to do?? When you are calm, having a great time and feeling festive??

Many books are against spanking, many books are urging moms not to spank and to just talk, redirect, and use other forms of punishment. That spanking is not necessary and therefore extremely damaging to a child's psych.

Growing up in a country where your parents, neighbors and anyone else had explicit right to swat you in your bum when you were misbehaving,surrounded by old ladies who loved to pinch, who no one ever thought to call the police, because someone was being disciplined, who kneeling in rice for a while is a completely normal and acceptable form of punishment, I have had extremely conflicting ideas on this.

Dont get me wrong, I love the USA. I really do. It has given me many opportunities that otherwise I wouldn't have had it, but to say that its perfect?? Far from it. And I mean which country is??
Brasil is so wrong in so many areas, and because it is my homeland, I will pass even harsher judgment from it, because I expect better of it, just like I expect better from my children and I am more easy going on my friends children.

So anyways, Brazil vs USA, we have it better on this issue. Our children back home are more family oriented, more respectful of their elders, and so forth.

I truly think it has to do with the mentality of it takes a village to raise a children. Everyone knows everyone, its impossible to live in Brasil and not get to know your neighbors. Sometimes a bit much, and there is an understanding that if the parents is not noticing it their child act up, you are more than welcome to step in and correct it, because at the end of the day, you want whats best for that child.

So after wrestling for so long with completely different opinions on the subject, I have had to draw my own conclusion and what I deem acceptable for my children.
Everyone in my family and my close friends know they can punish my kids without a problem. I didn't see it?? You are another adult, if you are close to me, is because we have similar believes, therefore, go ahead, punish them.

I think its cruel and unusual punishment to have them kneel in rice (so far though,,,that might change if the offenses starts to escalate).

I dont want to be my child's friend. I want to be their mother. I want to be a mother that they can come and talk to at any time, regardless of the topic, I want an open line of communication, but at the end of the day, I want them to see me as their mother. A mother who cares, who listens, but who they respect and love the same. I am not here to be their friend like so many others I see.

To find the right punishment is almost impossible. I mean getting creative, doing different things and stuff will have an impact, but a punishment that doesnt hurt the mother (sometimes more than it hurts the child)?? Absolutely impossible.

I hate spanking my child, I hate seeing a wonderful toy that I know they will love it but cant buy it because I told them they weren't going to get anything until their behavior improved, I hate being at home and not taking them to that zoo I promised because they were horrible at school. I hate it with a passion. Its a necessary evil. I would hate even more for them to grow up and have so little respect for our elders that God forbid he will push one down the stairs, or think its okay to set a homeless person on fire, or stomp on a classmates head. So therefore I continue on punishing and molding them to be wonderful members of society. BUt to say I like it?? Nope. Its the hardest part of this job.

Love A

Sunday, May 1, 2011

On the right path????

Anyone that knows me, knows how long I have battled weight issues. I never wanted to project that onto my children and probably would have sold my soul to shield and protect them from all the pain I have gone through. Oh how much life is easier when you are born the "right" size.

Fast forward to when I became a mother. My son was a healthy 8.14oz. While I was recuperating from a air pocket that traveled to my heart but took a detour and went to my shoulder, the nurse brought my son in because he was screaming from hunger. Without them being able to wake me and advising my father because of the amount of morphine I was under, breast feeding wasn't a option, my father made the decision to give my son some formula. The nurse handed him a 2oz bottle and told my father to feed him less than 1 oz.

What transpired next is what has been told to me as I was in lala land. My father was talking to my inlays, my mother and every family member. Probably saying sweet things like every other first proud grandparent would say. What the nurse mentioned about only giving him 1 oz was the last thing on his mind. Tyler drank all 2 oz, gave a big old burp and started crying again. What did my wonderful father do?? Grabbed another bottle and gave it to him. 1.5. more oz went in. The nurse doing her rounds came back and completely freaked out. She called the doctor on call and there was a huge commotion. The nurse took Tyler from my fathers arm, poked and probed him, the doctor came rushing in, got the explanation from the nurse and my father. After checking him out and realizing that he was perfectly fine and the worst thing that could happen would be him throwing up, the doctor told my father "Did he get sick?? Nope?? Okay then feed him. That one got a big appetite".

I believe that day Ty broke some record. I doubt many hour old newborns eat 3.5oz and sleep peaceful without screaming. Having been more insightful, I would have realized this was a prediction of what would come. Extreme pain, bleeding nipples, a son sucking me completely dry within less than a month and a lactation consultant telling me there is just not enough flow, or milk for him. He cries because he is hungry, him going to formula, eating every 3hrs way more than kids around him, home made baby food at 4.5 months, and still to today at age 4 the appetite of a horse. There were many fights with my parents. Here I am a inexperienced mother, with horrible weight issues and the only thing I could think about is that I was setting up my son for a lifetime of pain.

I have worried and cried many nights over his weight. He is chunky. No other way to say it. When I belonged to a military forum, I spoke to some moms about his weight. After a nasty comment was said about me, I internalized everything and never again spoke about it to anyone except extremely close friends. Until now!

Anytime I brought up concerns to my doctors they told me 96% is fine, he is extremely healthy, never sick, dont worry.

I tried to control what I could. I made his own baby food from the beginning. We are talking about spinach and mashed black beans at 6 months old, all kinds of soups. All kinds of meats and veggies. The was even mocoto soup. In case you never heard of it, mocoto soup is cows feet stewed with lots of veggies and black beans. A major hit back home.

When Tyler was 8 months old, I moved back to Texas on my own. Extreme fear of me feeding him baby food because of convenience, my father, who is also overweight but healthy as a horse, overnight me a cooler filled with homemade baby food, packed on dry ice. No joke. It cost him $150 to do that, but hey when you truly believe in something, money is no object.

Through out the years I continued to worry about his weight and continued on trying to feed him extremely healthy stuff.Now dont get me wrong, I make mistakes. We love to eat out and McD's is still a favorite (even though I read all the reports) and I never know which one is better: butter or margarine. I didnt learn that High Fructose Corn Syrup was the evil until just last year.
There is still a lot I have to learn.

At some points when the comments of how big he is got to me, I have cried to my husband and begged him to let me put him on a diet. My sweet wonderful husband who was also overweight but got a job at McD's at 17 and lost is all and who can eat cereal and cookie dough for a week and actually loose weight (dont we all hate him??) wouldn't allow me.

Its not whats on the outside that matters, its what on the inside. He repeated that to me so many times, I couldnt argue anymore. At 4 yrs old Tyler has had maybe 2 colds. Everyone around him will get sick except him. Knock on wood!

Juliet came along and I worried even more. For a guy they dont have as much vanity as we woman do, they are not judged as harshly. For a girl in this world, weight is everything. Its not how it should be, but it is. She also was born with an extremely healthy appetite. She was also 95% by the time she was 1. Then suddenly she started moving around and thinned out. Now she is barely around the 45% range. My prayers were answered on their own.

Tyler at 4 continues to be 95%. He weighs 48lbs and wears a size 5-6. That makes him the biggest kid in his class. I have put him in swimming, soccer, I push him to play outside longer than I would. Everything I do is a mirror of my fears.

At the same time, kids learns from us, even things we don't want them to learn. All day long he has to be sipping on something. I only buy him fruit/veggie juice water it down and only give it during meals. Every other time is water. I also switched his milk to 1% after he turned 2. But all day long he sees me sipping something so he does it too.

Also after dinner he requires something sweet. That is an old habit I have grown up with. Grandparents, parents, generations back do it. Even if its a small piece of something. So therefore he either gets some pudding, a couple tic tacs, a marshmallow. You name it.

I worried and worried. Well this week I was given a gift. A reassurance of some sorts.

As I mentioned before, out of 35 kids in his class, Tyler is the biggest. He doesn't have a fat face, but he is build and well bigger than his peers because he is short. This week they were learning about nutrition. One day they had all kinds of veggies displayed and asked the kids.

My son could name every single veggie around. Asparagus he called Spartacus and cauliflower, he called the white broccoli, but everything else he was able to name it. He even asked them where the Kale was. That mommy makes Kale with fried eggs and its yummy and its really good and why didn't they have Kale. When his teacher was telling me this, I had a tear in my eye. The nutritionist that was the guest speaker of the day was amazed and had to admit to him that most children have no idea what Kale is and that she didn't bring it. The only veggie the other kids could name were corn and yucky peas.

I guess it is true, that our children do learn and mimick from us. I was so stuck on him being skinny to be acceptable, I have forgotten, that being healthy is 100% better than being skinny. I am a healthy fattie. I cant qualify for gastric bypass because there is nothing wrong with me. All my levels are 100% fine. To the shock and amazement of most doctors. Maybe my son will follow in my footsteps and be a healthy fattie.

I just hope, unlike his mother, he realizes that being healthy is what is most important.

Love A