Saturday, May 30, 2009

Finally some sunshine...

Now that things have started to calm down a bit I can explain whats been going on in our lives.
In may dh bought a car from the neighboors for $100 bucks. A 95 Nissan Altima with a blown motor. We only have 1 car, my equinox. When we left Hood we decided to trade in both our cars and get the equinox. A stupid mistake we did but it was done. The plan was to get here at Bragg and buy dh a cheap car to go back and forth to work, and my car would be the family car. When we got here in Oct, we got dh a used Mazda for 1100 bucks. It seemed to be in good conditions. After 3 months of throwing money into we were so mad and pissed off and frustrated we sold it for 200 bucks just to get rid of it. So we had been looking for another car for dh. The neighboor had his for sale and we decided $100 bucks is nothing. We will buy and slowly get the engine and fix it up. That is what we did. The first week of may we had the money to buy the engine. It was $750 for an engine with 50K miles. Great deal. Well the engine arrived may 15th and we were going to wait for a couple more weeks so we had money to buy the rest of the parts and dh was going to work on putting it on.
Well on monday morning May 18th, dh left for pt. One street was closed, he didnt see the street was closed because it was pouring down rain and they didnt have signs before posted. Well dh gets up to the barricade and its too late by the time he saw it. Instead of hitting the cop car that was sitting there in front of the barricade, he slammed on the breaks, realized since the roads was wet he was sliding, he threw to the left, jumped a curb and hit the hospital sign. He wasnt hurt or anything but now my car is all messed up. The whole front bumper shifted and the tire was off the rim and the sign was destroyed. So here comes the fun....

He got a ticket for reckless driving and a court date. We will fight it for sure because it was pouring down rain and there were no signs saying the road was closed. Also I thought I had rental car when it came to accident. Well I dont. When we got this car and switched the insurance around, something got messed up and the rental car got dropped. So here we are. One car messed up from the accident and 1 sitting in a driveway with no engine and an engine sitting in my front porch. Thank God our neighboors and friends helped us out. They took us to the grocery store and to everywhere else we needed to go and dh started working on putting the engine in. 2 wks of pure hell. He would come home from work and work on that car until almost 10. With no more light and just a little flashlight. 2 wks of having to buy more parts because it needed this and it needed that. Just pure freaking hell. This morning, after putting the engine in and connecting everything and changing parts that were leaking or messed up, he realized something else was leaking and the break system wasnt working. OMG we just want to sit down and cry. How much more can God throw at us. We are absolutly defeated, and cant handle it anymore. Well after relaxing and talking it over, he decided he was going to take a deep breath and try again. Lo and behold he figured out every single issue with the car. He got the break line unclogged and he fixed the hoes that was leaking. The car is running fine. We sit down and cry tears of joy. Finally its working. We finally have a working car. Rock on.
So we went to Walmart right away to order Juliet's glasses. She has needed glasses for a while and with all this going on, we didnt have a chance to get there and order her glasses, we also went to the parts store and got the last parts that needed to make it running smoothly.
After two wks of so much stress to the point of we cant handle anymore and fighting everyday and might even get divorced and our relationship being tested and pushed over and over past its breaking point, the clouds rolled away and some sunshine is now peeking through. I am soo proud of dh its unbeliveable. I knew he was an amazing mechanic but this is completly a new level for him.

So for now we have a working car and that I am thankful. My car the insurance still havent decided if they will totall it or fix it. At this point I want them to total it and just be done with it. We will see. Also we have to wait for the police report and the court date. We do have 25k in property damage. I am hoping and praying the hospital didnt spend more than that on their sign. Also dh did get a counseling report but the brunt of it wont come down until the police report/court date comes through. HE might get an article 15, loose pay, loose rank and even get kicked out. I am trying not to stress and worry until it happens. Just trying to deal with one thing at a time.

So that is where we stand. Thank you soo much everyone who helped us and for all the kind words that came our way. You all dont even know how much it means to us.


Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial day...

Just a couple numbers to keep things in prospective :

4,302 Americans have been KIA so far in Iraq

683 Americans have been KIA so far in Afghanistan


Lessons Learned .......

This has been a very trying week for our family. We got dealt a huge blow and are now trying to learn from it and deal with it the best we can.
So here are some lessons we learned :

1. Being married and getting along when all is sunshine is easy. When the rain starts pouring, that is when you see how strong your marriage is and how much it can withstand.

2. Wanna know who your real friends are?? Have something major happen to you. That is when you will see who the true friends are, who still step up to help and who will run.

3. A random act of kindness from a stranger is trully a beautiful touching thing.

4. A hug/virtual hug, kind word or advice when you are in trouble, might not even register on the person that gave it to you, but have the power to save your life over and over again.

5. When you dont think you can handle any more, more will happen. How strong we trully are is amazing.

6. Forgiveness is hard. Very hard but if you dont, it only eats you alive.

7. God loves to laugh at your plans whenever you make thought careful planned out ones.

8. Sometimes we get so caught up in life, we forget whats real important and I think that is why trials happens. Easiest way to put it all in prospective again.

9. Toddlers are very kind. When crying, if you toddler comes up to you and gives you a hug and kiss and say dont cry mama, you will hug him harder, love him even more, and cry harder.


Saturday, May 16, 2009

Holding up melons, giggling and making faces...

Around these parts we have been holding up melons:

Making faces :

and giggling :

Hope you been just as busy =)


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Ohhh I am freaking nuts....

Hello everyone,

I will explain my crazy decision and you will all say dont do it, but I need to. Its the only out of things.
So here is the deal, we have about 8k in cc debt. That is without including the Star. I cant believe I just told the world, but hence the whole blogging and accountability and etc. I doubt I will be winning the lotto anytime soon, even though I dream about it and this debt if affecting our life, our marriage and our health. We have to get out of it and for that to happen more money needs to come in. Even with both of us donating, we still cant seem to catch up. I been trying like nuts for a month to find a job (I have to make enough to afford childcare for 2) and I have had no luck. So we have a couple other options. 1 option would be to move out of base into a 1/1 apt off post in a crappy area. With rent around $490 plus electricity, it will take us about 6 months or longer to get out of this debt since BAH just went up. Well living in a 1/1 with 2 kids doesnt seem feasible. Dh nixed that idea. To go to a 2/2 will take even longer. Closer to a year. Because a 2/2 will cost around $550 plus everything else and it will give us more space, Tyler having his own room works, Juliet staying in a room with us is no problem at all. So a 2/2 could work, but it will take longer and since the areas that have apts are not that great, I dont think we want to do that because of safety. Saving a couple hundred $$$$s a month is amazing, but not risking our lives over. KWIM? If risking our lives wouldnt matter, we would be drug mules or (just joking)

So we come to our next option. We put everything in storage, dh moves in with a friend of his and the kids and I go live with mommy and daddy. Rent free and only paying for storage unit and helping out, would easilly get us out of debt in 4 months or so. That is the better option because we wouldnt have to worry about being safe or not in a area and my parents would love to have the kids around and etc. I think it woul take 5 months or a bit more to get out of the cc debt. But since we have income tax coming around next year (yeahh I hate to think about that and the fact we will need it) will get us out of the rest of the debt. So even if we dont pay everything off but the majority of it and pay the rest with income tax, by beginning of next year we will have been debt free and that makes me a lot happy and the rest I will just have to suck it up and deal with it. I mean it wont be easy, I lived with my parents when scotty was deployed last time, and it was rough. They are very opniated when it comes to the kids and everything else. How to raise them, what to feed and etc. They do have their best interest in heart, its just that they were raised differently and does things a lot different than here. The majority of the tips they give me are wonderful and etc, but its not easy to swallow and pretty much give complete control. And for us to live in the same house and for things to work, I have to pretty much nod and agree to almost everything. Since I need this badly, I think I can handle that.
I am just feeling kind of crappy that we screwed up and now have to take this huge step back to fix it. But hey at least we are trying right and working for it. So I got lower my pride and do this. I know it wont be easy and etc, but in the long run it will be better and since life its not about today or tomorrow only, its about the far future, I feel like we are making the right decision.

We did find out that for the on post housing the first year is like a lease. You have to stay here for 1 year before you can break the lease. After the 1 year you can move out anytime without penalties. So our year would be up in Oct and only then would I be able to leave and go leave with my parents. We wanted to move there in Aug so by Dec it was done and we were back home as a family, but now we cant until Oct. So that puts a small set back and we will see but it gives us time to think and etc about this idea.
So lets see what happens.
Wish me luck. And any advice anyone have please throw it my way. I am more willingly to listen to anything. I mean we are so sick and tired of finances ruling everything in our life from our hapiness to how many kids we can have, that we had enough and want to take major action to change things.
I have thought about this a lot, and I cant come up with any other decision. I have weight the pros and cons of them all and this is the best one I could come up with. Not the one with no cons, but the one with less cons. If you are reading this with a clear head, and can point me in a better direction, please do so. I am all ears :)

Thanks for listening to my sob story


Monday, May 11, 2009

Princess pirate...

My princess got her pirate patch. It came in today and I really like. The material is really soft and the print its adorable. I like all about it. The only thing is the elastic is kind of long so we have to tie on the back, but that will grow with her so that is great. The elastic does leave a little mark but no worse than any handband so that is great. I also ordered today some patches that are supossed to have a very light glue and wont irritate her skin at all so we will see.

Asides from getting her used to the patch, I have been trying to track Scottys engine all day. He ordered over a wk ago and since the company is using a freight company to ship it, I had to call both places. Finally they got their act together and it should be here by Thursday. I really hope so. Wonderful hubby has been driving me insane about this.
Well while tracking this stupid engine, the mailman delivered my mail and I got my gift from a spring exchange we did on a website I belong to.
I am so excited with all I got. The candy is soo good and the glass is just gorgeous. I think the seeds will be my first attempt at planting something. I hope I dont kill it like I kill everything

Well that is life for today. I will try to update this often.


OHh happy day ohhh happy day :)

Mothers day was absolutly perfect. Hubby and the kids made me a huge card as you can see. Why it had to be that big I dont know, but it is what it is and I love it. I also got breakfast in bed and to sleep in until 9 am . That absolutly rocked since the night before, SoCo and I had a very indeth converssation :)
I also called my mom and my grandmother. Since my grandmother is in Brazil and we dont talk as often as I would like, we were on the phone for about 3 hours. Thank God for and their great rate.
So all in all I am blessed and happy. I love my babies and being a mom is one of my greatest accomplishments.


Wednesday, May 6, 2009


So yesterday afternoon sucked balls. The drops that they gave JuJu to dialate her eyes, went in her sinus cavity (when you are older it doesnt really do that but when you are young it does..) and it made her sick all afternoon. She spit up a ton and was extremelly mad because she was hungry but I guess the taste was nasty. On top of it I had a huge migraine (3rd of the week. I seriouslly need to go to the doctor). So that was a trying day.

Today I decided to start patching her eye. Well she was all over the place and then kept spitting up.Scotty said its normal because when he closes his good eye and cant see out of his left, he feels extremelly dizzy and it throws his whole balance off. So if Scotty a big boy feels like that,imagines a tiny baby. So I do hope she gets used to it because she has to wear.
On top of it all the patch they gave us left a huge red mark on her face. The glue is too strong so its irritating her skin. So I am on the market for new patches. I did order one pirate style that you can reuse and its held with a string just like a pirate. I hope it will be small enough for her.
I am now waiting on a friend to tell me where to buy patches with less adhesive that wont irritate her skin.

As for her glasses I cant find anywhere right now that makes them. The lenses is not the problem, the problem is the frames. We need one that goes around her face with the elastic band, and from what the lady told me only 2 companies make it and she was going to try to call them and call me back.

Just one thing on top of the other is pilling up. I so wished this process became easier. I know she is not the first child to need all this stuff so where the hell is the market for this??

I need to find another mom with a kid with the same issues and go from there. Maybe I should put an ad on craigslist :)


Half good news....

Here is what happened at Ju's appointment :
Okay so I took JuJu in yesterday and the news are good and scary at the same time. She can see. She has plenty of vision and that took a huge weight off my shoulders. Everything we can deal with so thank you for the prayers and vibes.
She pretty much has the same issues as dh. Her left eye is lazy just like his. Also she needs glasses and to wear an eye patch on her right to strenghten her left.
The glasses her rx right now is +3.5 on her right and +4.5 on her left. She has to wear a patch on her right eye. The patch has some rough glue on it because its for kids not for babies with soft skin.He say try it out if it gives her an allergy, I might have to make one with an elastic band or something.

Now for the scary news..90% sure that she will need surgery. She has something called Exotropia which is : "Exotropia -- a common type of strabismus -- is the outward deviation of an eye (away from the nose). The deviation or eye turn may occur while fixating (looking at) distance objects, near objects or both.". He said that is adding to her vision problems because her eyes are out of aligment. Like when people look to the right, their right away move very far away from the nose, and the left eye should move in really close to their nose. Hers is not doing that.
He said there is a possibility the patch and the glasses might help it, but he doesnt think it will be enough. They wait to do surgery when they are about 1 or so because they are stronger and able to handle anesthisia(sp) better and etc. So for now use the glasses and the patch and pray. But most likelly the surgery will be necessary. It will be somewhere in Raleigh. I cant remember the name, but he said it sounds scary and it is with any surgery but that its good and they have a good success rate. For her lazy eye, that goes until they are about 9 years old. So we have plenty of years to mess with it and correct as much as possible.
He wants to be seeing her every 2 months to keep tabs on her and see how she is progressing.
He did say that this exotropia can be a sign of slow development, but from seeing her, she is absolutly fine. He said to just keep an eye on her that she hits her milestones and etc, but not to worry at all because he is not. He said its not neurological issue or anything like that. She can see plenty (she was getting mad after her eyes were dialated and he kept shinning the light on them).
So that took a huge weight off my shoulders. She can see and she will be fine. Ohh well that she needs to wear glasses and a patch. Even surgery is not freaking me out as much as the prospect of her having no vision did.
So I am pretty content. Ohh and the fact that she is not following yet, she is with the bright light and her eyes dialated. So he said to give her a couple more weeks because its still developing and she is a bit

Love A

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Citzenship here I come :)

Where the hell have I been??

Ohh that is right. Potty training Tyler, Playing counselor for my parents, fighting with my husband, studying for my citzenship test and daydreaming about winning the NC powerball :)

Lets start slowly.
Tylers potty training has been good. He will twinkle here and there but has been doing amazing and only pooping in the toilet. Thank you Lord. I was tired of cleaning dirty undies. I still have to change his sheets about twice to 3 times a wk for him peeing on them, but Scotty decided to remove his pull ups from naps and nighttime. Pull up free for about a wk now and I am doing more laundry. Ohh well. One day he will stop right?

My parents have had a really rough patch. I seriously thought after 28 years of marriage they were going to get divorced. He moved out and slept in his company for a week because they couldnt even be in the same house and be civil to each other. I of course got dragged into it and had to play mediator. No I dont like it, but its kind of impossible not to. Its only the 3 of us here. We have no family here and I am an only child. Its our job to help each other out through the good and the bad. The bad was that their sex life came up in the converssation..barf. How can I go 28 yr without hearing about their sex life and then finally have to go through that ? Ughh!!!!!! Add 10 more years of therapy and maybe I will be normal again.
But after 1 week of talking to her for a couple hours, then talking to him, then back to her then him and so forth for over a week and many minutes, I finally got them to see each others issues. You would think they speak 2 different languages because they have a serious communication issue. I am emotionally drained from all that but extremelly happy that he finally moved back and she is willing to listen more and they are willing to go to counseling. I think its major because what they say ? "You cant teach old dogs new tricks" Well they are defying that. I am so happy for them. I mean who the hell throws away 28 years? Heck you put up with it for that long, you better fight tooth and nail until the end right? 28 years is a big deal. They cant seem to see that. But all is well for now.

My husband on the other hand is driving me insane. I think we are going through the 7 year hump. Oct we will have our 7th wedding aniverssary and I want to kill him latetly. He hasnt been helping me out at all. I dont ask much from him but I do ask for the basic. You see something on the floor pick it up. You dont want to do absolutly nothing? FINE. BUT DONT FUCKING MAKE A MESS ON WHAT I CLEANED. That pisses me off to no end. He is really dropping the ball and I am getting tired of it. We are supossed to be working towards our future. We got two beautiful kids, a good income, health insurance, health, a lot more than others have. We should not be fighting over petty shit. But alas we are. I dont know where we will end up. He doenst want to go back to counseling and my patience is wearing thin. We will see what happens to us.

Now for the title of this blog. I applied for my citzenship in jan of 2008. If it wasnt for me being able to legalize my parents, I really wouldnt have not dealt with USCIS now. But they need it so I am doing it for them. I applied and after moving and the process getting delayed and having to transfer and fight with so many people I finally got my appointment for monday. If I pass the test, I can swear in and I am officially a citzen. I seriouslly cant believe it. It hasnt sunken in yet. Funny that end of may will be our 15th aniverssary of living here. I cant believe it has taken that long but that will finally be done. I am excited and for that I am studying a ton. The questions are not easy. Half of them my friends dont even know it. Not shocking since half of my friends are always calling me and asking me how to spell something or something about history or goverment or my favorite one..Geography. Makes me feel good. So send some vibes that I retain all this info until monday :)

Ju is doing really good. She is smiling a lot more, eating and just being a pleasant child. Tyler wasnt a pleasant child at all, so this is very welcoming (is that even a word??). Her eye appointment is on Tuesday and I am so scared. I dont like to admit it, but I am. I just want to know and hopefully he will be able to tell me something to do, because just sitting by and watching is driving me nuts. Give me a game plan, give me something, but dont leave me in the dark or I go nuts.

As for the powerball it rolled again.77 million dollars. Can you imagine it?? Granted take home is only about 45 mil but still. 45 mil wow!!!. That cant buy hapiness but it sure can buy a ton of spa days and I can do with that :)

*** I will leave you with a couple of pictures :)