Thursday, December 31, 2009

HERE COMES 2010 :)

Usually by the end of the year I am nostalgic, I dont want the new year to start because that means I will be getting older, my babies will be older and leave this wonderful baby stage.

This year?? I wish I had a time machine and skipped 09. 2009 Sucked big time. It has trully been the worse year of my life. How we made through everything I dont know. Taking out the birth of my daughter, I could have done away with 09. But its done, we made it through and as midnight nears, my hopes have been reinstate that 2010 will be better and bring out wonderful things.


I will leave you with lyrics to my favorite song that can explain it better than I could!

Love a

ONE REPUBLIC "Stop and Stare"
This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Not another Christmas blog....

I have read too many Christmas blogs in the past couple days. I will spare you of another one.

Let just say this Christmas I sinned with glutonny and practiced patience. Yep you guessed it right. We went to my parents ;)

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. If you didnt, you didnt drink enough!

Love A

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Counting my blessings..

About 4 years ago, this time of the year was a dark one for me. I had a misscariage a couple months before and was trying to get pregnant with no luck at all. In my stupidity I definetely thought Santa was going to bring me a baby. The only thing I wanted more than anything else in this world. My period arrived 1 wk before Christmas and it devastaded me. I was misserable. I know the whole count your blessings, be thankfull for what you have and that everything happens at the right time, have faith in God and so forth. But when a woman desires to have a child, none of that matters. It matters but that desire, that need is stronger than anything else you ever felt. Your whole body physically hurts, your heart aches, and your soul seems empty :( . Infertility is one of the hardest things I ever dealt with in life. Harder than anything else. It will test your faith, your marriage, and every relationship you ever had (sorry kind of hard to smile and congratulate Suzie who got pregnant again without even trying or even wanting that child, when you are sitting there doing math calculations about temps, dpo and so forth). But you somehow find a way to put a smile in your face and move on. Foward we go!

I remeember sitting there one night right before Christmas crying because I was doing a search for something and read a quote that said :"I always dreamed of being a good mom. I thought the "good" would be the hard, not the mom". That struck a cord with me and made me cry so much. Why me? Why cant I be a mom? What have I done? Who did I piss off?? Was it because I didnt take care of Barbie well enough when I was 5? (never said I was thinking sane thoughts ;) ).

Well, somehow I survived through that Christmas and you know what?? January 15th I got my positive. Those 2 pink lines. OMG! Nothing mattered anymore. I was pregnant. The memories of that Christmas although faint still haunts me.

So as Christmas comes around again, and the kids are driving me nuts, and there is so much to do, so much shopping to accomplish, clothes to be bought, lines to be stood at for hours on end, and all the stress of the holiday, I try to stop and praise the Lord because there was a reason HE made me wait. I probably wont understand until much later, but one lesson from that I took. In the end HE is faithful. In the end, HE had a plan for me on his schedule, not mine. And my wish this year, is that HE also has a plan for you guys my friends who are dealing with it. I know your time seems like it will never come, but it will and if it doesnt, you will get peace of mind. Just have faith. I am praying for all of you and you know prayer is powerful :)

Much Love

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Almost wordless wednesday ....

Even babies have bad hair days....

But no worries...your brother the one who feeds you peanut butter, gives you candy, drags you through the house, pulls you up, pulls you down, makes you smile and let you bite his toes, still loves you :

Sunday, November 29, 2009

It was supossed to be pretty...

Browsing through one of my favorite blogs I see this gorgeous wreath she made (here is the link if you want a cool new idea..

Well the significant other saw it and decided that was very pretty and this sunday we were going to make one for our front door. I was kind of against but he was too excited. I decided to go with but I told him I was going to buy the bulbs.
This afternoon he takes the kids to the park while I am studying and comes back with some fugly bulbs.
He is too excited and I cant rip the excitment from him so I go along with it. Smiling and nodding while he is telling our toddler how proud of his first craft project and so forth. No one can hear that inside I am detesting this thing and have to drink some wine in order to laugh at this because ladies and gentleman this is what it looks like...

With a bit more wine, I will think its gorgeous and looks pretier than the blog. Exactly what he said, because thats what the holiday season is all about right??

Love A

You know when the holiday season started ...

1.When you find a toddler strangling a turkey:

2. A baby looking more and more like a christmas hippo :

3. A husband on a roof :

4. A toddler wrapped up in lights :

5. A beautiful decorated house :

If you got any of these, start singing because the season is here and its going to be a great one :)

love A

Who needs BlackFriday....

when you got craigslist?? :)

All for under $20 ...SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(dont mind the pictures. Its hidden all over the place so the toddler wont find it ;) )

This table has the legs...its just easier to hide the table without the legs than to do with it :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Time to be thankfull...

Today is thanksgiving. A time to be thankfull. Thankfull for health, families, for friends, for jobs, for freedom, for pjs, for cheesecake...getting off track here but you get my point.Well I have a lot more to be thankfull this year. I am thankfull for the lessons my first time cooking a turkey alone has thought me..

Get a pen and paper you will need it...I will wait..

1. watch the youtube video on how to clean such turkey before trying to do it, or you will end up missing something

2. dont try to rip the bag of junk from the turkey while its still frozen. It will rip and make you gag

3. when you grab a turkey that has olive oil all over, to move it back to the sink because you realized there is another cavity with another bag full of yucky stuff, such turkey will slip off your hands, roll over on the floor, hit your dd that is quietly crawling and make her cry

4. Having a huge naked turkey fall off your hands slide through the floor and hit your 9 month old making her cry and possibly traumatizing her for life, is not the way to make her 1st thanksgiving memorable.

5. Trying to wash a 13lb turkey on a small sink will end up soaking you and everything else around

6. you have to tie your turkey legs together or he will look like he was gang raped after he is done cooking

7. after your toddler eats 2 servings, dont ask him if he liked it. He will tell you he didnt like it, that he told you 3 times already he wanted burger and fries and you didnt listen.

8. All those years when my father offered to teach me to cook a turkey I should have listened

9. If you repeat "OMG I am touching a turkeys vagina" while doing it, you can bet your bottom dollar on it that hours later your 3 yr old will sing "turkey vagina..turkey vagina" over and over

10.Wine helps me laugh at this mess today instead of years from now

I hope everyone had a happy wonderful great thanksgiving and that you will learn from my stupidity in the kitchen.. :)

Leaving you with a few pictures...


After.. not great looking but absolutetly delicious

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Just something pretty I read and want to share..

" Not one day in anyones life, is an uneventful day, no day without profounding meaning, no matter how dull and boring it might seem, no matter wether you are a seamstress of a queen, a shoeshine boy or a movie star,a renowed philosopheror a Down's-syndrome child. Because in every day of your life there are opportunities to perform little kindness for others, both by conscious acts of will or unconscious examples. Each smallest act of kindness - even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, a complimentthat engenders a smile - reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whos generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grow each time it's passed, until a simple curtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meaness, each toughtless expression of hatred, each envious and bitter act, regardless of how petty, can inspire others,and is there for the seed that ultimatetly produces evil fruit, poisining people whom you never met and never will. All human lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined - those dead, those living, those generations yet to come - that the fate of all is the fate of each and the hope of humanity rests in every heart and in every pair of hands. Therefore, after every failure, we are obligated to strive again for success, and when faced with the end of one thing, we must build something new and better in the ashes, just as from pain and grief, we must weave hope, for each of us is a thread critical to the strenght - to the very survival - of the human tapestry. Every hour in every life contains such an often - unrecognized potential to affect the world that the great day for which we, in our dissatisfaction, so often yearn are already with us; all great days and thrilling possibilities are combined always in this momentous day. Brighten the corner where you are, and you will light the world " "From the corner of His eye" Dean Koontz.

Love A

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Thursday Nov 5th, 2009

Today there was an attack on a military base. Fort Hood, Texas. A disgruntled major went into the processing center and opened fire. He killed 13 soldiers/civillians and injured over 32 people. An absolutetly horrible act. As a military wife, I cry for those that lost loved ones that day, as an american citizen, it saddens me that not even on a military base in american soil, as a mother I am absolutetly petrified to raise kids in todays society.
An all around tragedy. Please keep everyone involved in your prayers.

Love A

Happy dressing up kids and candy day...

I dont really care for halloween. I love candy and seeing the kids dressed up thats about it. I dont care for the crappy decorations, carving pumpkins seems a waste of time to me, driving in front of houses decorated with spiders and tombstones makes me depressed instead of happy that is fall. Ugly carved pumpkins makes me sad and takes away the joy of a delicious pumpking pie baking or a candle.
I am like the schrooge of halloween.
I didnt grow up with this. In Brazil we dress up for carnival and kids go around knocking on everyones door getting candy on kids day which falls in June. So this is one tradition even after 15 yrs I cant embrace it. Ohh well! call me the schrooge of Halloween. One thing I do enjoy though is seeing all the costumes. All the kids dressed up and pretty proud of themselves and of course dressing up my munchikins. This year I was extremelly happy with their costumes. Tyler wanted to be Oswald (a blue octopus from Noggin). Unless you got a kid you never heard of him, but I got a kid who loves cartoons and he is in love with this dude. The fact that he is not so popular as the diegos and backyardigans of nowadays makes it impossible to find anything Oswald. I do have an amazing friend who is equally amazing with a sewing machine who made the perfect costume.

Juliets costume was a bit easier. I have dreamed of having a little girl for a long time. No secret there. One time a long time ago I gave up candy and this little girl was dressed as a flamingo. I told my then I am never getting married having kids self that if I ever had a little girl I would dress her as a flamingo. Low and behold searching high and low I found this adorable flamingo costume. Way more than I wanted to spend, but hey she is my little girl and last child. IF I dont do it now when will I ??

So the day went great. It was freaking hot. Thank you NC for not making up your mind when it comes to the weather. But it trully was a good day and it will only take me a month to loose all the weight from all this candy I ate :)

Love A

Monday, October 19, 2009

Almost wordless Monday :

Go ahead whine toddler, whine. But I will get my revange/pleasure from putting you in absolutetly ridiculous looking pajamas. So keep on whinning. One day your future girlfriend will see this because I keep everything ;)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Not your TacoBells quesadilla =)

The hubby is still out with the kids getting breakfast, so indulge me.

Two days ago I made quesadillas. Its called pico de gallo quesadillas and I must say I am one kick ass We love quesadillas but these were off the chain. Soo freaking good if I ever open a restaurant one day, they will be in the menu.

TacoBell is awesome. We love their food and when you got a budget, its a great treat. Their quesadillas are good, but now we are spoiled. I have been trying to make quesadillas for a while and I can make the regular chicken/beef cheese on a tortilla. Doesnt take much, but it never seemed enough, always felt like something was missing. Well I found it. Where is the violins and angels singing I ordered??

Moving on... here is the recipe :

I tweaked it a bit because I was in the mood for steak and also because I dont carry every spice necessary. I dont know how to buy cuts of meat or spices. SO therefore we improvise.

BUt it was delicious and if you want your child and husband to love your forever definetetly make this one. Easy to make. Nothing too complicated. Just a couple steps, but a great final product.

Enjoy it
While its cooking. Can you smell those onions, green peppers and ton of garlic working their magic??

Voila :)

Love A

7 years many more to go???

Today we celebrate our 7th yr wedding anniversary. WOW! I didn't think we would make it to 7. Marriage is hard and takes a lot of work. I know a lot of people say their marriage is easy and blah blah blah. Well good for you guys. Ours is not like that! We are 2 completely different people who fell in love and have made mistakes along the way. So learning this dance of sharing, compromise, cleaning up messes that we made and so forth has been difficult. There has been a lot of toe stepping and even dropping each other here and there. But when we do a couple of steps right and sway to the music, it makes it all worth it and makes us forget the bad parts.

People have told me I settled and still do. Well you know what? Settling is part of life. You cant have everything you want, perfectly the way you do. If that was the case, I would have a nanny, a maid, a range rover, well behaved kids and of course size 6 jeans. So I settle, he settles, and we move forward to improve it. I think the fact we are both here trying to make it work its a main reason to celebrate. He forgets to pick up his socks, have consideration, I bitch and whine and so forth. But we are still here.

We both could have gotten a divorce, I think some of those toe stepping have given us plenty of reasons to walk away with a clear concience, but for what?? To try to find the right person, to start a whole new life?? To break the unity we created just because things are hard??
Nahh! I had a lot of time to think this year and it seems as soon as we took divorce out of the equation, we both started adjusting and giving our best. One thing is we are both very stubborn, and I am thankful for that. I celebrate that, because if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be here.

So yeahh he might leave socks on the couch, sit around when the dishes are pilling up and so forth, but right now he got the kids and is getting me breakfast. He will do anything for me. One would think anything for me would be to help out more around the house, have more consideration and etc. But that is not him. He cant see the garbage full and think "Oh I will take out that garbage". He has to be reminded and nagged and bitched and so forth.
But you know what?? I dont think in my deathbed, I will remember that. I think I will remember him coming home and laying on the floor playing with the kids before he even takes his uniform out, I will remember him bringing me coffee home because he knows I love it and it will put a smile on my face, I wont remember me bitching to him about spending money on stupid crap. I will definetetly remember how tight he held me when our friend died and how much he said he wished he could take my pain and make it all better. I will remember the times he lets me silly and actually laughs at my stupidity and accepts me for who I am. I will remember all the sacrifices he has made for us and how he would do anything in the world for me, for us and that a smile on our faces is all he needs everyday.

So yeahh, in the day to day, I settle, I end up picking up the slack a lot more for the kids and the housework, I sometimes do it all with no help. But in the long run, I don't settle at all. So it might not be a fair trade, but its one I have learned to be okay with it and slowly tweaking things. So, hopefully the next 7 will be easy to make up for the struggles and difficult's of the first 7. If not, ohh well. We will cry, learn, grow,and adjust here and there and so forth.

Love A

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Caviar and welfare???

The husband is always telling me I have caviar taste on a welfare paycheck. I dont really care for caviar and I dont think the military's paycheck is welfare but you get the jist. I have expensive taste and never enough money. Always been like that, so therefore I have had to learn how to save money.

I am by far no expert in Savings 101. I have friends feeding families of 4 for under $300 a month. Some stockpiling with only $5 out of pocket each time. Yeahh not I get all confused with coupons, end up buying stuff I dont need and its just a mess. I prefer to do simple things that has been able to help me and not much of a hassle.
Also the fact I am not picky helps a ton. Let me explain American, a lot of people impulse buy. Things here are too easy to afford. The difference from back home is say you want to buy a computer . That computer today cost $2k. You start saving. By the time you are done saving for that, that computer will cost close to $3k because of wonderful inflation. Here by the time you are done saving that computer will cost less. If you are lucky, you can find a wonderful sale and only pay half. That is amazing, but it makes a lot of people impulse buy and just buy things they dont need. Therefore because I am not that picky, I can go into a thrift store and walk out with an $80 pair of jeans that was only used once for $5. I have no problems with it. As long as it looks good, have no rips, no holes and its not lingerie or anything else too personal, I am game. I dont follow that "one mans trash is anothers treasure". I dont like anything trashy. I want nice pretty things for a good price. Hence the caviar connotation :)

So asides from checking thrift stores, garage sales, goodwill, I sign up for every store. I am already online anyways, so might as well. I always get an email when stores are having a sale and coupons.

CVS is a great place to save money. You can search coupons online, print them off and take to CVS. On top of them always having a buy 1 get 1 free all the time, they have bucks and etc wich can save you even more.
Food lion is the same. I have searched around the comissary and other grocery stores in the area. But Food Lion's price is always better. I signed up for the free MVP card (which most grocery stores have) and I always get discounts on stuff I normally buy. Every single receipt is always at least $5 less than the original price. Just for having the free MVP card they gave me. Also their buy one get 1 sales rock. Ice cream, chicken, veggies, soups and so forth. Stuff that we use everyday. Food Lion also put their coupons right there, so as you grab the product you grab the coupon. Same with CVS.

I am also not brand lover. If store brand black beans are on sale, I will buy those. Very few things like mayo, ranch, and cheese, which tastes better the name brand and I have to stick to them because I want to save money but not comprimise good taste. Everything else is game. Also if you open your horizons, you will realize something the store brand tastes better than the name brand (ex: Saltines and Peanut butter. I love Food lions brand better).

BE willing to bend is another tip I learned. Most stores will put the popular expensive stuff within eye level or higher. If you bend down, you will find so many sales its isane. The difference in price can be as much as a $1 or more.

Also the way things are packaged affects price. I am now buying spaghetti sauce in a can instead of in a glass jar. The glass jar is $1.90 more expensive than the can, the glass jar has less than the can and the taste is not even that much better. The cans are very cheaper.
Buying something that you use often (toilet paper) is better to buy a bigger package. Yeahh the smaller package might be cheaper but you will end up paying more because of packaging.

Planning meals has helped us save a ton. We dont eat out as often anymore because of meal planning. We buy whats necessary and therefore spend less. We also have lost some weight because us cooking, we know whats going in the food.
We also eat much better than before. I love I have found so many new recipes from there and have really opened our taste buds. Stuff like zuchinni which we never liked before, are now part of our meals thanks to a delicious zuchinni casserole I found it.

Eating one vegetarian meal a week helps save a ton. Heck you wont even miss the meat that much.

For veggies, if you eat a ton, buy fresh, for us even though we eat a lot, because we only shop once a month, it goes bad if I buy the quantity I need to last us for the week, so therefore I buy a lot of frozen and cans. Do check the ingredients to make sure there is not a lot of preservatives.

That brings me to another point : Shop less often. I have friends that spend a ton but when I start talking to them about their shopping habits, they are at the grocery store every 3 days. Are you kidding me?? You wont spend less that way, you will only be tempted and spend more. So try stretching out the days you go shopping.

And last but not least, compromise. You want to have that starbucks everyday, go for it. Saying you shouldnt will only make you crave more. But realize that maybe you cant afford that starbucks everyday, plus getting a mani/pedi every two weeks, eating ribeye once a week, eating out at least once a week and getting your hair colored once a month on top of washing your car.
KWIM?? So compromise. Is the starbucks important to you?? Then wash your own car, or change that mani/pedi appointment to every 3 wks, go a week without eating steak, order a kids meal or share one meal while going out. You dont need everything you have but can have everything you want. Just learn to balance.

I hope this rambling will help you save a couple pennies and lead a more fufilling life =)

Love A

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Happy 3rd birthday little man :)

As you can see from the nostalgic posting of pictures of him younger, little man just turned 3 on sept 29th. I cant believe I have a 3 year old. I am sure that is so classic of every mom to say but its so true. Time has flew! I have crappy memory but I can tell you exactly what I was thinking when that stick popped up positive, or when that first heartbeat filled the room and my heart with joy and so much love, I can tell you all the emotions that ran through my body when the u/s tech told me it was a boy. I can describe in great detail the fear and pain I went through when I thought I was going to loose him, and the joy I felt when he was first born, took his first breath and cried. My life would never be the same anymore and I sure as hell wasnt going to be the same person I was, ever again. And that was fine by me. I loved the new person I became, more patient, less selfish, and with absolutetly so much love to give. Having a child is monumental. So as he is growing into an amazing little boy with so much kindness, and a ton of attitude to back it up, I can only hug him and thank him. For the wonderful amazing gift he has given me in choosing me as his mom.

Happy birthday Tyler. We love you so much :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sibling love :)

You know having 2 kids is rough. The pregnancy for the second is harder than the first since you cant just lay down and sleep anytime you please, financially is of course more tighter than before, and its just a bit more stressfull in general. You have less time than you did before, bouts of guilt about sharing your time wiselly between both, trying to make sure both have the same experiences and neither feels left out and so forth. But on days like today, I wouldnt trade for anything. I dont know what is like to have a sibling. I am an absolutly only child. No halfs, steps nothing. Friends of mine are envy and say I had it easy and I was spoiled..HaHaHa. You cant be spoiled when your parents are But I am the one that has always been envy of them. During long car trips they had someone to talk to, they have a built in friends and someone that understands completetly 100% how crazy your parents rules are.
So I think having a sibling is a blessing. No matter how many people says their are disfunctional. I love my crazy sister in law more than hubby. I couldnt have one myself but wanted to make sure my kids had one. I am so glad God saw me fit to raise another one of his little angels and granted me a second blessing. Days like today when they play along together so nicelly and kiss and love on each other, I think maybe I can do this. Maybe I can raise two tiny little people into good amazing people. Me believing in my mothering skills comes from their love of each other. What else could be more powerful??

Love A

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Food Food and more food...

The more stressed I get, the more I cook and bake. I barerlly have enough time as it is to make dinner, but latetly I been procrastinating homework in purpose of baking. I cant help myself. There is so many new yummy recipes I want to try everyday and also the fact that baking/cooking relaxes me.
Also I have been making some new recipes for baby Ju to pump her up with so many vitamins and minerals hopefully she and Tyler will miss this flu season. So far so good knock on wood no colds at all and no ear infections.
So tonight the temps have dropped quite a bit I decided to celebrate and make pumpkin bread. It came out so delicious this will definetetly be a staple in this house. Also this recipe is big it makes for 3 loafs. I froze 2 for this weekend when the parents will be over. Nothing like a yummy pumpkin bread with some honey butter or whip cream for breakfast :)

Also tonight hubby made spinach cheese omelettes. So freaking good. Tyler ate all of it. He loves spinach. Thank God!
Hubby cant cook much but when it comes to grill cheeses, omelletes, and chicken and dumplings, he rocks.

For Ju she had some spinach mixed with whole grain rice and tomorrow she will have pumpkin mixed with something else.

So delicious and full of good stuff for you, it will help keep the bugs away!!!!!!!

Here are the pictures..(I dont know how to take such pretty pictures of food to make them look apetizing but you get the point ;) )


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Mother would tell you....

I do it to drive her crazy since she hates it. I really dont. I do it because I love it and its one of the joys of having a boy since clothes/toys for them are not nearly as cool as what they have for girls.
I do need to reassess the style though. He has become a chic magnet and we cant go anywhere without people stopping and asking us about it. Thank God its been all positive but its too much attention even hubby is having a hard time to deal :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

I suck in time management...

For a person that is not a morning person and who sucks with time management, getting up early to get myself ready and presentable, 2 kids ready, stop by hubby's work (because God forbid he could remember to take it all with him), drop them off at the babysitters and then race off to school (without being late or getting a ticket is a task ;)
I get up at 6am and dont have to be at school until 8am. It takes me 15 minutes to drive to the babysitters and another 10 to drive to school. Why am I having issues??

Well it starts with an adorable toddler who enjoys jumping on mommys bed sometimes before 6 and playing peakaboo. Gosh how much changes when you have kids. Before I would have slapped him like I did his father on our honeymoon for waking me up too early. But slapping is not allowed. Not even from a I-would-sell-my-soul-or-maybe-just-a-toe-for-ten-more-minutes-of-sleep. So after him playing peakaboo and riding the horsey (yep he turns off my alarm clock. Sometimes I notice it sometimes I dont. I am weak we all know. I have too many addictions. If he turns off my alarm clock and my bed is comfy, I will sleep an extra 10 minutes (or longer) no matter what. So of course common sense washes over me, I push the toddler away and to the bathroom I run. I get ready, get him ready, pop a waffle in the toaster, get the diaper bag ready, get the baby ready, give him his breakfast, get all my books ready, start the car, load everything in the car and then realize I forgot to put a bra on, or brush my teeth, or pee, or anything else, run back inside (horrible mother of the year leaves in the kids in the car) meanwhile my cellphone is ringing and is no one else other than my 3rd kid who fakes responsibility and maturity 99% of the time. He informs me he forgot a important paperwork/his boots/hiscap/his brain and if I could drop it off. Back up here for a minute..
he gets up at 5:30 and only has to roll out of bed (since he sleeps in pts), grab his back that he put together the night before, and leave. Why does me who has so much more to do in the morning and who hasnt had to be anywhere before 9am in 5 yrs, have to be responsible for his stuff??
My mothers words come into mind.."Do things right. Finish school before having kids. Life will be easier". My young-know-it-all-pothead self decided to ignore her, because I know it all. Moms are corny and just want to give out advice to sound cool. Gosh how I want to bitch slap her sometimes. Where the hell is mrs-know-it-all when I need a hand in the morning?? Going to school after you have kids is so much harder. If I was doing this before kids, I could roll out of bed at 7:30 slap on something cute to accentuate my cute pre kids body, stob by starbucks to get some coffee, and drive to school in my cute adorable car. But nope, know it all decided to do it all backwards so therefore if I drop the kids off on time, get to school on time with shoes that match, pants that dont have anything spilled on them, a bra, shirt that looks presentable, brushed teeth and hair that doesnt look like bedroom hair, with all my assigments and my books, it will have been a wonderful day. When that day happens I will update okay ;)
Until then my mornings are chaotic. Moms say that one day I will laugh about this. I hope she is right. That is what keeps me going. One day this will be hillarious, because if not I am one breakdown away from an and to think I only have 20 something months left of this...!


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Back to school.............

OMG I cant believe I havent talked about school yet. Well I am back in school going for a Paralegal. It was last minute choice, but definetetly one I couldnt be happier with. I feel like this is my calling. I have always enjoyed going to school, but this time I am so excited and eager to learn. This stuff is so interesting. I am taking Intro to Paralegal, Civil Litigation, Real Property, Intro to Logic and a necessary stupid College for Success one. I love my Paralegal classes and I love this program. On wed we have to dress professional. They want to teach us and mold us to be the best of the best. This program is accredited and that means I can get a job anywhere in the US. Its the first accredited program in NC. Also there is an intership at the end wich usually ends up in them hiring you. I am so excited. If everything goes okay I should finish May of 2011. I want to try to finish before but dont know if that is possible.
So life is awesome. The babysitter is doing great with the kids. They love her and Tyler gets sad on Saturday when he doesnt go. I couldnt ask for anything better. They go to her 7-11am mond-thursd. The only bad thing is Juliet is in a constant state of tiredness. She only gets up at 8 or so, so me having to wake her up at 6 am makes her very upset and she is still not adjusted to it. It breaks my heart when I wake her up and she cries :( But hopefully soon she will adjust to it.

So that is my life now. I pray and hope we stay here just so I can get to finish this program and graduate with my friends. I have already made a bunch of friends at school and since we will be in the same classes for the next yr or so, we have already became close. Anyways just wanted to share my little ray of sunshine in the midst of all this darkness.



Tuesday, August 25, 2009


This year has been the hardest year of our lives. It has tested us in ways I couldnt even imagine. Its not over yet, we are still in the tailend of it, but so far so good. We have survived. How I have no clue. A little broken and lost but we have. OUr life is still in limbo and we dont know what will happen in a couple of months, but somehow I am feeling more at ease. I think trying to hold on and go against the current is a lot more tirering and worse than just going with the flow. So with a dose of faith, a pinch of patience, we are moving foward. Whatever comes we know we will be okay in the end. We had lost sight of that and things got dark. But thank God we found it again. Even if nothing improves, our outlook have, and that is a blessing.

Thank you so much all my friends who have stood by us and helped us with advice, prayer, and sometimes just a listening ear when we whined.
You guys have saved 2 lives and dont even know it.



Saturday, August 1, 2009

Better mother than "this" duck ...

I been feeling pretty crappy about my parenting skills latetly. See post below.
Well dh shows me this picture

and tells me..."At least you are a better mother than this duck" . I give him props for trying. Somehow it didnt work, but I did get a laugh of it. I am soo going to hell.


I am drained....

If I could enforce this with my toddler, I would be rich...ughhh.

Last week at the PX there was a sign saying that this Saturday they will be doing 1920's pictures with all the props for only $9.95 pus a $5 sitting fee. Great freaking deal. We couldnt pass it up consedering JuJu is almost 6 months old and we still havent done family pictures. So we wake up early this morning, get the kids dressed and go to get our pictures done.
It was set up in the px. It was hot as hell. By the time I got there my hair was sticking to my face and I was getting frustrated, but I sucked it up and put a happy face on.
We got everyone dressed and took the pictures. They will be ready next week. That catch is they take one family picture, the one that will be $14.95, they also took one of dh and I , one of the kids together, one of Tyty by himself and one of JuJu by herself. That way they can entice you to buy some more when you go pick up yours. I will be strong I hope, but they put Tyty in this hat and JuJu with a cool dress, lots of pearls and an adorable hat. I dont know how strong I will be :P. We will see.

Well as we are about to leave, the set up for the pictures was right by a video game thing. Ty didnt want to leave and wanted to stay playing the video games. How he knows what a video game is beyond me. But whatever. HE threw a fit and threw himself on the floor. There were million people there for the pictures too and all witnessing this. Everyother time we drag him screaming and deal with it outside. Well I dont know what got into me, but I decided that method doesnt work. This is the second fit he has throw in public. What we are doing is not working. Something needs to give.
I got down to his level, and spoke in a very stern voice "You will stop this behavior right now or God help me I will spank your but in public and I will make it hurt". I sounded soo mean. I look up at Scotty and his eyes is about to pop out of his head. But you know what?? Tyty got up, held my hand and walked hapilly to the car like nothing happen. Holy cow!!!! I cant believe it worked. Mind boggling. Hopefully it will work every other A girl can dream right :) It was draining though. Everytime he whines, I feel like my energies are being sucked right out. I am done for the day. Just want to put my feet up and

So we got home, hubby cooked some turkey melts and we ate with watermelon. (Yesterday there were 5lb watermelons on sale at Food Lion. I couldnt pass it up. We been eating it everyday. I forgot how delicious a watermelon is during a hot summer day), and he went to help a friend move.

Tyty and I made some muffins, and he was so good and helpful, it kind of erased this morning.

HEre are the pictures.

Hope everyone is staying cool from the heat and have a wonderful weekend


Monday, July 27, 2009

TV or no TV??

The great debate is upon us again. I won the last time what I thought it was the battle. But nope. A very smart toddler is making us rethink our decisions and hence the great debate is back.

See let me explain a bit so you are not biased with your opnion: Hubby had a crappy childhood. The crappiest around. After a stunt in foster homes, he comes back home to his unstable mother and she gets him his own tv in his room. You can only imagine where this is going right?? Yep. Tv was his babysitter, teacher and friend. He watched tv all day long and it became a substitute/escape for a lot. 20 some years later, all he can remember is the happiness getting his own tv brought him. Not everything else. And besides, TY-Ty's childhood is 100 times better than his. So, he doesnt see anything wrong with getting him a tv for his room.

Me: I grew up too poor and playing outside. Me having a tv in my room compares to you owning an island. A dream so far unrecheable, it doesnt even compute. By the time we were just poor instead of too poor, I was already 14 and the 13 inch black and white temperamental tv that my parents found me in the trash, worked just fine. I was more content though to have my own room. Which I also got at 14, after years of not having one. So, I dont think Ty-Ty needs a tv in his room.

Well with all my points and persuasive skills, I won this battle last time. We only have one tv in the house. Which is in the living room. I refuse to have a tv in the bedroom. No need for it. Bedroom is for reading =) Not watching tv.
Ty-Ty watches the tv in the living room. We share, he watches Noggin, I watch the news and Oprah at 4. Life was bliss until last week.
Random tuesday, at around 2pm, I change the channel to Headline News to catch up on my news. Well he is sitting there drinking his milk and paying attention. I didnt think much of it.
By the time 2:30pm rolls around, I take him to bed to put him down for his nap and with all the innocence of a 2 yr old he asks "Mommy what does kill means?" My mouth dropped, my heart twisted. My baby boy is not suposse to know about death. He needs to be innocent and live in bliss. He will have plenty of time later on to learn about lifes cruelties. 2 IS NOT THE AGE. I just tell him he is too young to know and one day I will explain.

See the dillema we are at now?? He is now assimilating a lot more than we expected. He probably has been for a while, but hey I am a slow mo.
So we have 2 options:
1. Get him a tv for his room


2. have the tv in the living room on cartoons only. The only safe thing.

We need background noise all day. We are home, the tv is on. Just how its always been. He is playing with his toys, playing with his sister, helping me out, and etc. The tv is on through it all. The only time the tv gets shut off is during dinner.
Before kids, I had it on news all day. When hubby is home its either news or some car channel.

I dont know how to do. Before I had my foot down and was so sure, now I dont know. I dont think a tv in his room will solve anything, but husband seem to be positive sure it will.

For now my option is to have it on Noggin all day long until he naps, then change to the news and catch on whats going on the world while he is napping.

I dont know if I can do that. I am about to loose my mind with these stupid cartoons, but at the same time his innocence is very important to me. I am not ready for him to grow up that fast and know about murder and everything ugly, dirty and nasty about our society.

I am sorry to say, the debate hasnt been solved yet. We dont know the right answer yet. we decided to sleep on it, and procrastinate until we can come up with something.

So that is our life now. Arent you jealous?


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

1029 +/-.....

that is how many miles we drove in 2 days. I seriouslly think only civillians or really rich people who flies everywhere, drive only the avarage 12k miles a year. Because we sure dont. We avarage double or triple that. Even though I am already sick and tired of driving, there is always something new coming up.
This weekend I was supossed to go pick up my best friend in CT and drive her down to her moms house in SC, then drive down to Fl pick up Tyler and drive back home. Alas her husband is a prick and is making their divorce very hard so she couldnt leave the state with the kids. So that trip will be postoned. See more driving for me soon.....ARGHGHGHGHGHGHHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I talked it over with my parents and they didnt feel like driving 10 hours to me and I didnt feel like driving 10hours to them to pick up Tyler and last minute tickets were around 500 bucks. No way. We came up with the plan that we would meet in the middle. Meaning we both left at 5:30 am and once we drove 5 hours south and they drove 5 hours north, we would meet in the middle. That way it wasnt going to be hard on anyone. Perfect.
So on saturday we picked up the rental car, but with nothing to do we decided to drive down to the east coast. Ever since Scotty and I started dating, we love taking day trips to explore wherever state we live in. We never had much money to stay at hotels, so day trips was the choice. Still is. So picked up the car, and left around 1pm to go to Wilmington. Took us about 1.5hours and it was so worth it. That town is gorgeous. We also did the trolley ride while we where there, checked out all the local beaches and decided we need to go back and that town will be our retirement home :). We stayed so long, we didnt get back home until 10 or so. Next day we were up at 4:30. Needless to say we were both dead. But we did drive down on sunday and met my parents in Kingsland, Georgia to pick up Tyler. How is that fair?? We had to drive 3 states and they only had to leave Ohh well he is back with us and life is hectic again :)

HEre are the pictures from this weekend:

The view from the bridge heading into Carolina Beach :

Juliet during the Trolley ride. She loved it.

One of the houses we fell in love with and want to retire to. Tomorrow please?? lol

The necessary touristic picture :)

Love A

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Wordless Thursday :)

Well not really since a picture can say a thousand words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Nasty baby food....

Naahh I dont think so.

I just started Juliet on solids sometime last month. I already did fruits and some veggies. Now we have moved on and have made meals.
I know people flip out, but knock on wood my kids have never been sick before 1. (Tylers first cold was when he turned 17 months). No earcaches,colic, colds, diahrrea, no nothing. They have an amazing immune system and I seriouslly think it comes from the nutrients they get from real food. It would be very easy to just pay 89 cents and give them some baby food. Open warm and I am done. Well it wouldnt be easy if that caused me to spend hours in the middle of the night trying to console a sick kid. And making baby food is a piece of cake. I think the fact that people dont know how easy it can be is what drives them to just buy the little jars and be done with it. Anything that you can buy in a jar you can make it at home. It wont take longer than 30 minutes and you can even do it and freeze it. Piece of cake.
My baby food stress comes from my parents. By 4 months old I was drinking goat milk and eating mashed black beans with meat and veggies. I have an amazing immune system and heal very well.
So anywyas, my father is such a nut that when I had moved back to Texas with Tyler while Scotty was deployed, I complained I was soo tired that night and didnt feel like cooking. Well the next morning Fedex delivers a box. Inside it was a bunch of pyrex filled with baby food he had cooked the night before and shipped it to me on dry ice.
That right there is believing in a I guess he was afraid since I hadnt made Ty any food, I would give him baby food. And to him that is

So anyways, while he was here he made Juliet's first real meal and left about 10 little glass pyrex containers in my freezer for her.

This one he cooked some meat with just water in a pressure cooker, after it started beeping (meaning it was pressurized and the meat was pretty much cooked), he opened up added some sweet potato, carrots, regular potato and some spinach. And let it cook for another 5 minutes or so. Meats cook a lot slower so that is why we cook the meat first then add the veggies later. You can even do it in a crock pot if you feel like it. We put no seasoning because babies just dont need it. Earlier in the day he had cooked some black beans, so after the meat and veggies were cooked, he added some of the black beans liquid and threw it all in a blender.
She ate a whole little pyrex dish. She was in love with it. So much more nutritious and better tasting than just those baby food. And easy to make.

The other dish he made is cooked some pasta, then veggies (a ton of it), and after it was done, he just threw it all in the blender again (she still has no teeth so it goes in the blender, after a couple teeth show up, it will go in the processor and after we get even more teeth in, it will just be mashed/cut up). And put them in the pyrex little dishes.
Ju now got 2 different dishes to choose from.
So her menu looks like this:

Morning is half a bottle, and some mashed banana or any other fruit mashed up. Sometimes is oatmeal.
Then the rest of the bottle.

She then gets lunch (half of one of the food we already cooked up for her and a bottle).

The afternoon is either yogurt, pudding, another fruit, or whatever else and bottle.

Dinner is another of the meals we cooked up and a bottle and bath.

She is one happy baby. Just check it out for yourself :)