Last week we moved back to my parents house. We are getting along great with them, they are in Brazil for 2 wks ;) anyways, dh and I stumble upon this flier from Publix (local grocery store), saying that if you go visit a cemetery and tour, you get a free gift card. Didnt think much of it and life continued as we unpacked.
The next day we had a full day of errands to run, while in the car dh and I have the best conversations ever. Well we were talking about something and he says I am a scary cat. I pouted told him that was not true. He utter the words "BET??"
Ohh that was definetetly a challenge, those are fighting words, I cant back down. We always have little wagers going on between us. We are both cancers, we both think we know it all, nothing like a good wager to prove who is right/wrong. All in good fun.
Well dh tells me "If you go to the cemetery tour do it, ask questions, get the gift card and take pictures, I will buy you a milshake from Steak and Shake.
Back up a bit...I have never been to a cemetery before. I am scared, extremelly scared and since steak and shake was having a happy hour on their milshakes, I could easilly afford one without doing this, but sometimes in life, bragging rights are important. I couldnt let dh call me a scary cat, chicken for the rest of our relationship. Yeahh he would!, so I called the number on the flier made an appointment for 2 pm and sent a small prayer up.
We got to the cemetery at around 1:45 with enough time for me to back out but nope I was going to do this. Dh still didnt believe me. He was sure I was going to chicken out.
Well I didnt :) The guy that gave me the tour was extremelly nice. He asked me what brought me here??
Uhhhh.... if I told the truth, a gift card/bet, that would surerlly send me to hell on an express jet. SO I told him I have a sick grandmother and I would like to be prepared (I do have a sick grandmother except she is in Brazil and I do like to be prepared...except when it comes to funeral and stuff) so half lie/half truth??
Sorry Lord !!!
Anyways the tour continued. I asked him to please concentrate on cremations. I dont mind cremations, being burried is what really freaks me out. He went through the whole process with me and prices.
Cremation without the service is around 2500 bucks, with the service is close to 3k. At the service you can decide if you want an open casket or just a picture with the ashes. I had no clue. I am glad I decided on cremation long before knowing the prices. Burials can be extremelly expensive. Cremations is the cheapest option.
Then you can decide what to do with your ashes. You can have them in a urn at home, have an urn on the ground with a tombstone, be placed on the inside of this beautiful marble wall, or be placed inside a book. You can also decide if you want to be outside or inside. Something to think about as the temps around here climb to over 100. I had absolutetly no idea about any of this stuff, but I learned a ton. Inside they have this beautiful library full of books and you can be placed inside the book. I asked a bunch of questions, and really felt at ease. I ended up spending way more time than I had planned. I was looking at everything. Inside there is this little windows were by the ashes you can put pictures, or little momentos. I thought that was neat.
I thanked the guide, got my gift card, took my pictures and left.
As I walked back to the car, I could hear dh snickering. He was sure I had probably peed my pants from fear, but walking back I know it started as a bet but I am very glad I conquered one of my fears and felt completetly at easy and peaceful.
Dh was extremelly proud of me. On the way to get my milkshake, I told him everything in detail and of course, after visiting a cemetery, the converssation is bound to turn into "what do you want to happen at your funeral??". Yeahh he is leaving its morbid but we have to talk about it. We had some converssations before about it, but never really made a specific plan, and since I learned so much today, I could ask more specific questions about his wishes.
Yeahh kind of morbid, he is leaving soon, and I go visit a cemetery and we talk about funerals and wether you want open casket closed, here or in PA and so forth. But instead of feeling sad or depressed, I was feeling at ease. I now know fully what my husband wants without a doubt. If GOD forbid something happens, I know his wishes will be carried out because I love him and honor him and I know he will do the same for me.
All good and worth it :)
Here are the pictures I took: