Thursday, February 9, 2012

Hey right answer, stop running away from me. Please!!

Sometimes in life there is no right answer. No easy decision. No matter how much you think about it and try to figure things out, write out pros and cons lists, nothing happens and you are left even more confused than before.

My husband is gearing up to deploy for a whole year. I have to decide where to live. Currently we are in El Paso. Staying here is out of the question. I don't care for this place at all and can't wait to see it in my rearview mirror and never come back.

If I didn't have kids, the decision would be easy, I would throw everything in storage, pack it up and go home. I would rent a condo in Rio and be dotted on and cared for by my family. I would have people to hang out with 24/7, help out and feel less alone. But because I have kids things seems harder. The traffic in Brazil sucks. I don't know if I would be comfortable driving there and I am too Americanized to lugging 2 kids in a bus. And its another language that unfortunately my kids don't know it. While they could learn it easily, its my son's first year of kinder. It scares me to throw him in that.

My 2nd option would be to go to S Florida either buy or rent and live close to my parents. While its a wonderful time to buy, I feel horrible buying our first house alone. Its something the husband and wife should be doing together. Its a magical time and I am not comfortable doing it alone. So I could rent it a place and live there for a year. My parents would be close by, we could hang out the weekends, they help out with the kids often, and it would be just like last deployment. Except even though they helped out, I was still alone. They have their own life's their own tastes, and etc. I already did this option last year, and while it wasn't horrible, it wasn't perfect, hence why I am not jumping to go back.

My 3rd option would be to go live with my best friend in VA. We are like sisters, I love her with all my heart, we can spend 365 days talking and never run out of things to talk. She is my children's godmother, love them like their own, she has 2 kids of her own and they all get alone fine. Her husband is getting ready to get out of the Army and he might even go contracting with my dh, if he does, she will also be alone, but even if he does, she can't leave VA because she can't rent or sell her house for 3 years. Even if he doesn't deploy, he will get a new job, work during the day, and she is a housewife like me, so during the day we would be able to hang out. The con is that I have only visited VA. I never lived there before, but then again when I moved to Killeen, TX, NC and here, I hadn't even visited before, the only difference would be that this time I would be doing "alone", with no husband. Also it snows. But I would have her support and someone to hang out with all the time. I wouldn't be alone at all.
The bad thing about going there : It snows!!!! I have never really lived in a place that gets harsh winters. While its nothing like Alaska its definitely colder than Rio, Fl, NC or TX.

So you see where I am coming from?? There is pros and cons to every situation, there is really no wrong answer and no right answer. Just where I would think I would feel less lonely while we gear up for this 3rd deployment and what would be best for the kids.

Why does being a grown up sucks??

Love A


Sarah said...

I am the adventurous type and I would absolutely move back to Brazil for the year... it's an opportunity your kids may never get again and would enrich them like crazy. It would be a different life but exposure to that would only do them good, especially since you have so much support there.

Second choice.. VA. It's wonderful to foster lifelong friendships and snow is a great experience as well, kids love it. Just sucks to work in it. I hear it's a beautiful state though, so many Army wives that go there, stay there.

Good luck making the decision! Be brave.

Suz L said...

If it were me I would move to be near the best friend. Life is best when shared. And since the hubby is away I say share it with the BFF!

Our Traveling Circus said...

Sorry to hear that your husband is deploying again. I think I read on your FB that you chose VA, so congrats. Having a great friend right there will be wonderful, and anywhere in VA is probably way better than Bliss!!

Ally said...

Thank you so much guys for the opnions. Yeah I decided to go to VA. The move itself doing it alone its going to be a pain, but I am tired of living in a place I don't like and being alone, living in a place that I think I can like it, and not being alone seems the best solution. Just got to learn how to deal with the winters