Happy halloween!!!

Today is halloween and surprisingly I had an awesome time.

You see, I didn't grew up with halloween, back home you get bags of candy on Saint of the Children's day and you dress up for Carnival. So halloween has always been kind of odd to me.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love dressing up the kids in costume and checking out the other kids in costumes. I love giving out candy and if I live in a neighborhood with lots of trick or treaters, I feel like I died and went to heaven. I don't complain about the kids not in costume and don't even care if they are too old to T&T. To me, if you are willing to walk, I will gladly  hand you a candy, because you see.....I despise walking the kids around on halloween. I can't stand it. I much rather sit on my front porch, sipping a margarita and handing out candy while checking out the awesome costumes.

Dh loves taking the kids out so it works out, well except when he isn't home. I was dreading it having to bundle the kids up, walk around, reminding them over and over to say thank you and to stay on the sidewalk. I was going to miss out sitting on my ass checking out the costumes. No bueno!

The heavens must have listened. My friends husband decided this year he didn't want to stay home, he was going to take the kids and my friend was going to stay home and pass out the candy. I jumped at the opportunity to throw my kids at him. For the small cost of my famous cheesecake bites batch, he agreed, we shook on it and that was that.

I turned off my lights, grabbed my 5 bags of candy (my friend warned me this neighborhood has tons of trick or treaters) and off to her porch with my 2 munchikins I went. They left with instructions to turn up the cute and grab mommy lots of yummy stuff, and we stayed back talking. It was amazing. So many kids so many different costumes, I had a really great time. Gave away all the candy, my kids got a huge loot and some Jesus is your savior flyers (totally odd and halloween is not the time to preach but whatever).

Pinterest also came through again this year providing me with a simple cool thing to do for this uncrafty mom.

Last year it was halloween spiders:

this year it was frankenstein puddings.

So simple, yet so much fun. I got a ton of hugs and kisses for it.


Customary halloween picture (My kids and godchildren)

Oh so tired but oh so happy with the prospect of eating lbs and lbs of sugar.

One holiday down, one to go, and then hubby home for R&R for the 3rd one. I couldn't be happier.


Love A

Oh sooo close..

Everyone that is not friends with me on facebook has been asking whats up with my weight loss. I mean I created a whole new tab in this blog just to talk about it.

When I started this journey, I became obsessed. I would weigh, measure myself and my food, than I hit stalls and would freak out. "OMG this is not going to work for me. I am destined to be fat..blah blah blah".
Finally I got so busy I didn't have time to do all of this anymore that took so much out of my life.

Something extraordinary happened, the less I worried, the more I lost. I went to Brazil and indulged, I bought Cheetos for the first time in years and years and really enjoyed every single crumb and even licked my orange dusted fingers. I went out to lunch with friends and ordered whatever I pleased. Granted instead of a whole bag of chips I can maybe have a tiny bag, instead of appetizer, main course, and dessert, I can only manage appetizer, but it wasn't just boring healthy stuff. It was deep fried and delicious except now everything was on moderation. Life was good, and the scale was moving the right direction. I got 5 lbs away from goal and was so happy with myself, until of course I hit a stall and here I am. If we don't count these last 5lbs, I would have been at goal 9  months post op. 90 lbs lost. Except I been fighting with these 5lbs for 2 months now and they are not going anywhere. Everyone tells me I am at goal and to just be happy, and don't get me wrong, I am happy, this is the best thing I ever did in my life. I feel wonderful, have to so much energy and food doesn't control me anymore. Except, goal is goal and I am 5 lbs from goal.

Also, last night after surviving the storm of the century, I realized how I still turn to food. Last week at the supermarket if you were a little fly and could read thoughts you would see a woman standing in front of the containers of nutella going "Should I or shouldn't I??" Finally her little devil sitting on her shoulder said "I am going to buy nutella. I have lost almost 90 lbs, I am mature and have self control" and I happily walked to the cash register and paid for my purchases, including my beautiful jar of nutella that I hadn't bought in over a year. I completely forgot about it until last night. I was so stressed, I had 3 tablespoons of nutella. Now in the grand scheme of things, 3 tablespoons of nutella is not going to do it anything, its not like I am bathing in it and my pores are seeping it and turning into fat 24/7. But it just shocked me, how little self control I have and how food is still a comfort for me. I don't know if this is only a fat girl things, or even skinny people with amazing bodies, still use food for comfort??

Fear also creeped up. I don't want to go back to "the before". Not only for vanity reasons or the fact that I am really enjoying buying size 10's. I don't want to go back to the before, because in the before, that girl wasn't happy, she was depressed and not really living. A complete 180 from who she is today.

So, this morning I am back to the basics, lots of protein, lots of water and no nutella or cheetos for a while, because I set up to do something when I started this and that was to reach 150lbs and 155 is not 150. I know its close and all but its not goal.

Wish me luck :)

A

Before 240 lbs size 22-23, After:  11 months post op 155lbs size 10 or 8 depending on brand.

Thats just how I roll...

Dusting off the spiderwebs...

I haven't posted in anything in a while. Its not for lack of inspiration. I have about 4-5 half written posts saved.

I could have written this wonderful sippy cup review post that I made after realizing how many we have gone through ever since my kids have been out of bottles and because I care about you all, I wanted to save you some money.

I could have made another post about how I was the happiest mom the first day my child started kindergarden and all my fears of him riding the big yellow bus alone (even though the school is less than 3 miles from the house)

I could have made another post how I took cupcakes to his school the day before his birthday, and that ever other child from other kinder classes that were eating lunch at the same time we were celebrating my sons birthday, looked on with sad eyes like they also wanted a piece of cake.

I could have ranted about spending $60 on a beautiful fondant cake for ds's birthday that tasted like ass and no one liked it (even though I ordered from the highest rated bakery around here)

I could have made the same old same old post I make every year when my kids get old. I would have gotten sappy about my first born turning 6.

I could have written about my first deployment breakdown in which I whined about it on facebook and felt like an idiot (hey its been 6 months already usually the time we schedule R&R, but this year we decided to push it back so he could be home for Christmas and even tough I know its going to be worth it, finding the strength to survive another couple of months is becoming increasingly harder each day :()

I definitely could have talked about dd current obsession with Hello kitty, to the point that she refuses to wear anything besides kitty!

My mom being here for a week and half visiting and we having an amazing time, could have definitely made for an interesting post.

The fact that I already turned on my heater, pulled out my park and boots after the temps dropped into the low 50's, would have gotten a few laughs from you cold blooded people for sure.....

but I don't want to talk about any of that. Maybe later, maybe never who knows.

So to break my blogging sabbatical, I am going to leave you with a picture of food

This is chicken stroganoff. The best chicken stroganoff ever. Drool on =)


Love A