Today we celebrate our 7th yr wedding anniversary. WOW! I didn't think we would make it to 7. Marriage is hard and takes a lot of work. I know a lot of people say their marriage is easy and blah blah blah. Well good for you guys. Ours is not like that! We are 2 completely different people who fell in love and have made mistakes along the way. So learning this dance of sharing, compromise, cleaning up messes that we made and so forth has been difficult. There has been a lot of toe stepping and even dropping each other here and there. But when we do a couple of steps right and sway to the music, it makes it all worth it and makes us forget the bad parts.
People have told me I settled and still do. Well you know what? Settling is part of life. You cant have everything you want, perfectly the way you do. If that was the case, I would have a nanny, a maid, a range rover, well behaved kids and of course size 6 jeans. So I settle, he settles, and we move forward to improve it. I think the fact we are both here trying to make it work its a main reason to celebrate. He forgets to pick up his socks, have consideration, I bitch and whine and so forth. But we are still here.
We both could have gotten a divorce, I think some of those toe stepping have given us plenty of reasons to walk away with a clear concience, but for what?? To try to find the right person, to start a whole new life?? To break the unity we created just because things are hard??
Nahh! I had a lot of time to think this year and it seems as soon as we took divorce out of the equation, we both started adjusting and giving our best. One thing is we are both very stubborn, and I am thankful for that. I celebrate that, because if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't be here.
So yeahh he might leave socks on the couch, sit around when the dishes are pilling up and so forth, but right now he got the kids and is getting me breakfast. He will do anything for me. One would think anything for me would be to help out more around the house, have more consideration and etc. But that is not him. He cant see the garbage full and think "Oh I will take out that garbage". He has to be reminded and nagged and bitched and so forth.
But you know what?? I dont think in my deathbed, I will remember that. I think I will remember him coming home and laying on the floor playing with the kids before he even takes his uniform out, I will remember him bringing me coffee home because he knows I love it and it will put a smile on my face, I wont remember me bitching to him about spending money on stupid crap. I will definetetly remember how tight he held me when our friend died and how much he said he wished he could take my pain and make it all better. I will remember the times he lets me silly and actually laughs at my stupidity and accepts me for who I am. I will remember all the sacrifices he has made for us and how he would do anything in the world for me, for us and that a smile on our faces is all he needs everyday.
So yeahh, in the day to day, I settle, I end up picking up the slack a lot more for the kids and the housework, I sometimes do it all with no help. But in the long run, I don't settle at all. So it might not be a fair trade, but its one I have learned to be okay with it and slowly tweaking things. So, hopefully the next 7 will be easy to make up for the struggles and difficult's of the first 7. If not, ohh well. We will cry, learn, grow,and adjust here and there and so forth.