Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Siblings

When I was pregnant with dd I was extremely afraid. I am an only child, I have absolutely no idea how to deal with sibling issues. None. This thought has kept me up many nights and I was sure they were going to hate each other. I mean am I suppose to get involved? let it slide? let them figure out on their own?? Will they be close? hate each other??

Suffice to say, I worried a lot.

I read a lot, spoke to many seasoned moms and took some important measures to make sure Ty wasn't going to be jealous, scared or anything and that this baby mommy was bringing home was a fun addition to the family, not someone that was going to steal away his spotlight.

I don't know if it was my own doing or divine intervention, but Tyler was in love with his sister from the moment he met her in the hospital. To him she was the coolest thing since sliced bread. When we brought her home, he never had any jealousy, always wanted to help, she made a pip and he ran to her. She was spoiled and mostly by him. He would tell us she was his baby and his only.

Asides from one incident in which I turned around and saw him holding her because he had picked her up from the swing when she was 1 month old, things flowed greatly.

As she got older and started crawling, I was sure my luck was running out. Nope. He always let her play with his trucks, would take the books from her mouth and tell her in a kind voice "No no no baby, we don't bite we read" and he use to sit down and read to her.

I didn't think I could fall more in love with him, but I sure did. My heart was warmed and even more broke over the fact I would never had a sibling to care for. Oh well. At least I was doing something right and my kids were getting along great.

The transition from 1 to 2 kids was a piece of cake for us. Seriously, I couldn't have asked for anything better.

As she grew, more and more they played together. He has always been very protective of her and she only has eyes for him. He says jump she will say "how high". She will clap and run and hug him when we pick him up for school. She will sit there and rub his hair and clean his toys for him. He got her wrapped around his finger, and she got him right there too.

For almost 2 years they shared a room and I could hear them giggling way past it was time for them to be asleep. In a stern voice but with a heart full I would remind them its bedtime and to go night night. More giggles followed.



Life was perfect, then suddenly everything went to shit.

I don't know if its the changes, this move, trying to get more control, but for the past month all they do is fight and bicker and fight and bicker. They will argue over toys, over a spot on the couch, over the blanket, over the fact one has more grapes than the other, over this over that. God forbid she enters his room, he gets mad and vice versa.

Who the hell are these children?? What the heck happened?? Where did I go wrong??

Everyone tells me this is normal that siblings will fight and bicker. Its a normal part of sibling relationship, but its scary.

I know they still love each other, because here and there I will catch a glimpse of them playing together or giving each other a hug after a fall, but you got to be quick, it happens so fast, if you don't see it you will miss it, and then he chaos starts up again.

I can honestly say for the first time in my life, I am thankful I am an only child.

This constant bickering and fighting and acting like they can't stand each other is grating on my nerves and making me worry.

I truly hope its a phase and that things will once go back to what it was before, because at this point, I doubt they will even speak to each other in 3 years time!!!!!!

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