Joy

You know I haven't written anything in so long I should talk about the important things like *how I survived another move with 2 kids and little drama *how living down the road from my best friend is wonderful *how accounting is kicking my ass and making me debate changing my major again *Insanity I tell you* *or how my liberal arts class has made me start a blog *I could also talk about all the joys of buying a car alone with a power of attorney and how when you can negotiate an amazing deal on an awesome car with tons of cup holders, you feel really good. *I definitely could talk about how I am down almost 60lbs and have to break down and get clothes because saggy undies is just not sexy at all I could talk about so much, but honestly I am not going to bore you with the details. I am not going to talk about any of that (well I kind of just did but roll with me), I am going to talk about the joy and pure happiness of living in a place you finally enjoy. With the military and contracting now we have moved, and moved and moved. I have had way too many addresses in various parts of the country. Some were great some so so. In the military it's all about "blooming where you are planted". I have talked about this before, and honestly I tried. I really tried but I wilted. I didn't bloom. As soon as I stepped off the plane here in VA, I took a deep breath, felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I smiled. This town is amazing, there is so much to do, so many activities, everything is so close by. There is humidity and seasons, there is rain and sunshine. There is humidity. Gosh I love humidity. My skin is all soft again, my daughter got her curls back and its all good in the neighborhood. So my long drawn out point is find your happiness. If you are not happy somewhere, don't suck it up, try to figure out where you would be happy and make it happen. Works towards because some things will make you happy and some things wont and its okay and absolutely normal. Sucking up and plastering a smile on your face when you don't feel takes too much energy. I been unhappy and now I am happy and I am not going back. Love A

Ally's logic

I was explaining to my husband that I am still really scared about flying on Sunday. He mentioned that in the past 4 months he has flown countless times. Over 3k miles to be exact. Without missing a beat, I told him in the past 15 years I have stuck countless tampons in my vajay-jay. That still wouldn't ease his fears if I tried to stick one in him. Needless to say, he didn't appreciate my logic and its not talking to me. Love A ;)

Lots of blah blah blah!!!

* I went from an SUV to a matchbox car. While putting my daughter in her car seat, I have banged her head on the roof 3 times. Can I still get my mommy of the year award??

* I have lost more than half of my excess body weight, yet high heels still hurt my feet. I guess I am never going to be able to wear them.

*I am 43lbs lighter and still have issues. My whole notion that skinnier people have no problems and perfect lives is fadding fast. Maybe after I get to goal, I won't have any more problems and will be pleasantly surprise. One can only hope.

*I purchased a dress (my 3rd one ever counting my wedding dress) to wear to church on Sunday, yet because shoes still hurt, I will be that woman dressed up with flip flops on. Don't judge ;)

* When coming out of the store, I circled the parking lot twice and had a mini panick attack thinking someone stole my car. Than I remembered I don't have my car anymore and got a rental that looks nothing like my car. This is not the first time I have done this!

* My kids don't have school on Friday because of Good Friday. I am a huge Jesus fan, but kids home for 3 days straight might drive me to drink.

* I stood in the dressing room of Kohls for 10 minutes deciding if I was going to buy this big hat or not.




(You see I have always wanted one, and been in awe of all the sophisticated ladies that went to the horse races wearing one of these. But there is no horse races in my future and I don't think I am cool enough to pull one off, but yet for 10 minutes, I stood there debating getting one just so I could wear while cooking or to Walmart. I think I am loosing it.)

* I have never worn stockings in my life and still can't apply makeup. I guess being sophisticated and "put together" is an out of this world thought.

*Sometimes I will still catch people looking at me with that look that says "she has such a pretty face, if she just lost some weight". It happens less often than before but still happens. All I want to do is scream "I am trying and getting there". But I am not supposed to care what others say or think. Yeah that is going really good.

*I hate flying in small planes. Put me in a big plane any day of the week and I will have no issues. Flying in a small plane and with 2 kids?? Oh no no way. I am actually debating on taking the train. 3 days in a train is beginning to sound a lot better than 5 hrs in 2 small planes with 2 kids alone.

* I am 4 months post op and still can't drink while eating. I have to wait 30 minutes before I can drink anything after eating. Some people don't have this problem but I do. 4 months and I still haven't gotten used to it.



Love A

The rental car gods hate me!!

In my family, renting a car has become a huge joke.

You see when I was younger my dream car was a red convertible mustang. I grew up had a family and never ended up getting a convertible mustang because now I have to think about safety, insurance prices, space, etc etc, the boring crap when you become an adult.

For the last couple times the hubby had to rent a car to go on a tdy alone or my parents had to rent a car they always paid for the cheapest one but when they got there they ended up getting :




you guessed it! A red convertible mustang. They made sure they took pictures and sent it to me and talked it up how fun it was to drive with them top down and how sweet a car it is and how good taste I have. The kind of stuff that made me green with envy.

Every time I rent a car, no matter if I pay for the cheapest one or even the upgraded version I end up with either this matchbox car:




or a ford focus. Its a car that gets me from point A to point B and who cares what it is, but dang it, I do. Why can't I get lucky and get a mustang?? or just something that is a convertible so I can feel the wind blowing my hair and the sun kissing my face even if its going to be short lived?? Nope, not with my luck. The last time I rented a car I specifically paid more and asked for a convertible. I was giddy with excitement. I was going to show who is the boss and I was going to get my convertible. I get there on cloud 9 and find out there was a glitch and they gave up the convertible to someone else and after me close to tears, I accept ed defeat and took a dodge charger :(


This time I didn't even care. I just paid for the cheapest one hoping my luck would change. Yeah right, I got a dang chevy aveo sitting in my driveway. A go kart. My husband and my parents already had a few good laughs about it.

The good thing is...

I sold my car and in a little over 2 weeks, El Paso will be just a memory and I will be on my way to Virginia. That brings a smile to my face, even if I have to do it in a matchbox car!


Are you lucky in the rental car process? Have you ever gotten a sweet ride??

Love A

Its just a matter of perspective..

When you think Hilton what comes to mind?? King size beds, room service, jacuzzi in your room, total luxury right??

Well that is unless you bee to Afghanistan and shared a tent with 16 grown man for 1 year. After an experience like that the Hilton to you is just a room with a door and indoor ac.

You see, whenever anyone finds out that dh is deployed in Afghan the first thing they ask is where does he stay. I don't know if stupidity follow me or what, but most people think they have hotels for soldiers in Afghanistan. Depending on my current mood, my answer will vary from completely busting out laughing to actually explaining that no they don't stay in hotels, there is no indoor plumbing, cheerleaders serving them (even though they totally wish for it..lol)

So first time dh was in a tent with 16 guys per tent. Oh yeah he use to mention the smell and the lack of privacy and etc etc etc.

This time he is a different base and therefore in different accommodations. To him its the Hilton, well the Hilton if the Hilton was a room with a door and no roommates. To say he is happy is an understatement. All it took was one experience and his whole vision is changed. How cool!

So without further ado here are the pictures :

If you ever get lucky to win an all expense paid trip to Afghan, you might just score this really cool place to call home for 365 days and before you turn your nose at it, remember, it could always be worse, you could be in a tent with 16 other smelly guys!

There is 6 rooms per pod, ac and a door. Total privacy. Its heaven for him and the bathroom is only 30 steps away. What more could he ask for??

I am happy!!!

I am happy,

I am happy because I am living in the middle of a wonderful love story,

because I am healthy,

becuase I have healthy children,

because I have a strong faith I can rely on,

because I am married to a wonderful man and even though he is thousands of miles away, I can call him and he will patiently give me directions,

I am happy because my fridge is full, I have a roof over my head, and clothes for me and my children,

because I have a wonderful support system and friends that will listen to me day and night,

because I have the privilege of staying home with my kids,

because I have the privilege to persue my degree and my interests.

I am happy because I have been blessed 10 ways until Sunday.

Don't get me wrong, I am not perfect.

Some days the world brings me to my knees before 10 am.

Murphy is around, things break, problems happens, children act rotten

I cry, I scream, I have my days, I cuss, I drink too much wine and I watch too many hours of trashy tv and some days I just veg out.

I spend hours in my tub with my kindle getting lost in some other reality,

I will be the first one killed in a zombie apocalypse due to mistaken identity because I don't sleep well, and the closest thing to a healthy meal I eat is milano's with some grapes.

Some days, at the end of the day, my only accomplishment is having kept the kids alive even though they were acting rotten.

But life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you deal with it, and even though 3 deployments in 6 years is not my choosing, I chose to control what I can and that is how I deal with it.

So just because I am happy and not whining about it every day on facebook and I am choosing to focus on what I can control which is to better myself everyday and deal with everything that happens to me, does not mean I don't love my husband.

On the contrary, it means I love him more than enough to try to be a strong better wife and mother so that he can do his job in peace without worrying about me.


Love A

Just what the doc prescribed

This has been a really rough week for me. My aunt passed away on Sunday morning and I was filled with sadness and even worse regret. You see I been promising to go home for the past 3 years since Juliet was born, and I still haven't made home. Deployments, moving, the fact that is now 4 tickets and this trip would cost a good $5k. I always had reasons to keep postponing. My aunt wanted to meet Juliet and she died without having that wish fulfilled.

All those reasons that I had before didn't seem good enough anymore. At the time, sure they felt like very good reasons, on Sunday they felt like excuses and it filled me with regret. I am 30 years old, I thought I was done with learning such important lessons, I have read fortune cookies, listened to famous quotes about time wasted, and yet I realized I don't know jack shit. I am still learning, and sometimes the lessons life teaches you hurt. They hurt a lot.

So yeah, to say its been a rough week its an understatement, so to not really deal with my feelings (because I don't have the time to fall apart), I drove myself into busy work. I cleaned garage floors, I packed, I organized, I cleaned my floors with toothbrushes, I have finished almost all my work for this quarter, but I was still broken. I was still sad and hurting.

Today I had absolutely nothing to do. My house is spotless. If I refold my sheets one more time, I will commit myself, so my friend suggested I start watching Greys Anatomy. I have never seen, 7 seasons are on netflix and a mindless numbing tv show will get my mind off things. Well I decided to follow her advice and started watching. It was just what I needed. To loose myself into some fictional drama and forget about my issues.

Everything was going great until one episode in which the main character said this quote :

--------------------------Meredith Grey: A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.


I paused, rewinded and listened to it again and again and again. I needed it to sink in and it did. I had a wonderful cry in the shower, picked myself up and decided to try again. Try to be better, try to make better decisions, really seize the day, because what else could I do?? I don't have the time to fall apart, and I don't have time to dwell on my mistakes and I don't want to. I want to learn from them and try to turn each and every sadness into something positive.

Don't get me wrong, I still miss her and I am very very sad, but now I am finally thinking about the happy moments, all the laughter we shared and all the advice she gave me. I am thinking of my amazing aunt instead of being filled with regret and for right now, that is good enough.


Love A

There will always be cupcakes!

Deployment number 3 has officially started, and amazingly I am okay. Give me a couple of months and a wine/vodka/rum shortage and things might change, but so far so good. I think what really helped is my parents came in on friday. They love their son in law so much they couldn't let him leave without seeing him, and although some people might think its intruding, it isn't. My parents are very laid back, love their grandchildren to pieces, and as long as they have their grandkids to love adore and spoil, they could care less what we do, so it ended up working out great that we were able to steal away some moments for ourselves, also after I dropped him off, they kept me busy and entertained until today, when they finally left. So all in all it worked out perfectly. Having them here, after dh left, made the whole difference in the world. Also I surprised dh by dying my hair black before he left, and he was very happy. He has always wanted me to go darker because he thinks it would look great, I always been scared, well we compromised and I got a simple one that comes out in 28 shampoos. Needless to say dh was right, it looks awesome and I might even go permanent. He was one happy hubby.

Now I am back to routine and have a great feeling about all this. In about 8 weeks I will move, I have a class to finish before then and some packing to do, so hopefully that will keep me busy and after I move I will have the bestie to hang out with, I have a wedding in Brazil, in May that I am going to try my dang hardest to make it to, some more pounds to shed and a degree to finish, not to mention a new town to explore, and Georgetown cupcakes right around the corner to enjoy. Hey don't laugh but I actually have "try a Georgetown cupcake" on my bucket list (I don't know if its my inner fatty talking or my insanely obsession with the food channel, but we will just roll with it), so to be able to cross that off my list is amazing.
Visit Carlos bakery of Cake boss in Jersey is also on the list, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

So that is the extend of my deployment plans, one foot in front of the other, and hopefully I will be able to shine this year and get a ton accomplished, if not at least I will have a cupcake and cross an item off my list. What more can I ask for??

Love A

Road trip on the cheap side..

This weekend we took advantage of the 4 day weekend and the fact that soon but not soon enough we are leaving El Paso and needed to check out the surrounding area before we were done. So a trip to Albuquerque and White Sands was in the cards. That is the only thing I wanted to do before I left here, I have now done, so time please hurry up and get me the hell out of here ;)

Moving on, when road tripping with kids doesn't have to be expensive. I make sure I always take snacks, and plan our meals. Eating out 3 times a day, plus snacks can get expensive and totally unhealthy. Through out all our moves and trips, I have learned a few tips, that will hopefully help you guys out.

1. Purchase a small cooler. That way you can fill it up with ice, take some sandwiches for the first meal of the trip, cheese strings, fruit, or whatever else tickles your fancy.

2. ziplock bags with snacks and sandwiches are a must. Usually we leave early in the morning after feeding the kids breakfast, then they eat the bags of snacks I have prepared, and by lunch we eat the sandwiches. We are not that far away from home anyways to want to eat anywhere that we want to check it out, so the sandwiches are easy and handy. Also before your trip, make sure you purchase some bottles for your kids and yourself. Dh and I have this one : Water bottle and the kids have these: Water bottle
But honestly, there are so many different kinds in the market, you will find one that suits your needs.

That way we can purchase big bottles of juice/tea or gatorade (whatever is your families favorite) (which is cheaper) or add canned soda (the hubby) to it and some ice from the cooler and you got drinks for way cheaper. If you were to buy drinks every single time you stop, you will spend a lot more and more than likely not drink anything healthy. I can't even tell you how many gas stations we stopped at had absolutely no horizon chocolate milk containers or diet ice tea. And since you are stopping to pee anyways, they are easy to wash in the bathroom sink.

3. Buying big containers of goldfish, pretzels, nuts, or whatever else you like to snack on is a lot cheaper than buying individual packages and separating them into little ziplock bags is a breeze. You can even go green and get the reusable ones or get little bowls like these ones : bowls


By dinner time you should be further enough away from home that there is a cool new restaurant you want to check it out go ahead. You have earned it.

Now if you are doing a trip in which you will be staying in a hotel for a couple days or longer, or during a PCS, a little preparation can save you not only money but also calories. So for that all you need to do is just pack some plates, bowls, silverwares to take with you and book a hotel that carries a fridge/microwave in the room. They are usually not more expensive at all and can save you money.

By the time you arrive in town, make a pit stop at walmart, and get some soups or steamable meals. Walmart or any grocery store is now carrying steamable meals. Everything from veggies, to rice and cheese, to rigatoni. They are usually lower in calories and a couple of minutes in the microwave means you have a decent meal for way less than what it would cost you to go out to eat. Also with a fridge, getting a quart of milk and cereal means you got breakfast for the duration of your trip.

So its absolutely possible to save money/calories during a road trip. Just takes a little imagination and some planning.

Hey right answer, stop running away from me. Please!!

Sometimes in life there is no right answer. No easy decision. No matter how much you think about it and try to figure things out, write out pros and cons lists, nothing happens and you are left even more confused than before.

My husband is gearing up to deploy for a whole year. I have to decide where to live. Currently we are in El Paso. Staying here is out of the question. I don't care for this place at all and can't wait to see it in my rearview mirror and never come back.

If I didn't have kids, the decision would be easy, I would throw everything in storage, pack it up and go home. I would rent a condo in Rio and be dotted on and cared for by my family. I would have people to hang out with 24/7, help out and feel less alone. But because I have kids things seems harder. The traffic in Brazil sucks. I don't know if I would be comfortable driving there and I am too Americanized to lugging 2 kids in a bus. And its another language that unfortunately my kids don't know it. While they could learn it easily, its my son's first year of kinder. It scares me to throw him in that.

My 2nd option would be to go to S Florida either buy or rent and live close to my parents. While its a wonderful time to buy, I feel horrible buying our first house alone. Its something the husband and wife should be doing together. Its a magical time and I am not comfortable doing it alone. So I could rent it a place and live there for a year. My parents would be close by, we could hang out the weekends, they help out with the kids often, and it would be just like last deployment. Except even though they helped out, I was still alone. They have their own life's their own tastes, and etc. I already did this option last year, and while it wasn't horrible, it wasn't perfect, hence why I am not jumping to go back.

My 3rd option would be to go live with my best friend in VA. We are like sisters, I love her with all my heart, we can spend 365 days talking and never run out of things to talk. She is my children's godmother, love them like their own, she has 2 kids of her own and they all get alone fine. Her husband is getting ready to get out of the Army and he might even go contracting with my dh, if he does, she will also be alone, but even if he does, she can't leave VA because she can't rent or sell her house for 3 years. Even if he doesn't deploy, he will get a new job, work during the day, and she is a housewife like me, so during the day we would be able to hang out. The con is that I have only visited VA. I never lived there before, but then again when I moved to Killeen, TX, NC and here, I hadn't even visited before, the only difference would be that this time I would be doing "alone", with no husband. Also it snows. But I would have her support and someone to hang out with all the time. I wouldn't be alone at all.
The bad thing about going there : It snows!!!! I have never really lived in a place that gets harsh winters. While its nothing like Alaska its definitely colder than Rio, Fl, NC or TX.

So you see where I am coming from?? There is pros and cons to every situation, there is really no wrong answer and no right answer. Just where I would think I would feel less lonely while we gear up for this 3rd deployment and what would be best for the kids.

Why does being a grown up sucks??


Love A