Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Last Thursday night during ds's birthday party dh got a phone call. It was his boss letting him know they are trying to place him in Ft Bragg. My smile grew. I have wanted to go back to Ft Bragg for a long time. Ever since we left. I had picked out a school, a house to buy, I had made plans, God was finally listening.
20 minutes later she called back and told him it might be Ft Bliss. I started to worry. Texas is the last place in the world I want to go back to and this is worse than Ft hood. This is west Texas more west coast. I don't like the west coast. I am an east coast type of gal. No no worries. I have spent hours praying to God. Everything was going to be okay, God listens.
Friday while at the water park dh got the final phone call. You are going to Bliss or back to Afghanistan. No choice, Bliss is understaffed, we need you. You are moving.
My world starts to tumble, I start to hyperventilate. No way this is not possible. For a year they been telling us Virginia, then Bragg, then Hawaii, then UK, then Georgia, then Bragg and now Bliss. They will change their mind. I wont stress. I am going to enjoy this water park, I am going to see the whales and I am not going to think about it.
Sunday driving home we got the final phone call. Bliss it is for sure and it will be soon. You wont have to go back to Afghanistan to clear. Tears, arguments, reminders to look on the bright side, more exchanged words, hurtful words, reminds that is only a year, a husband excited that this is a promotion, no more deployments, only 365 days. Its doable, please wifey follow me. More pleas, more argument, more tears, enough tears to fill a river, fear of passing up this opportunity with the way the job market it is, reminders of Texas sucking, more argument, hours later we reached a conclusion. We would take this position for 1 year, I will follow him, not happy and dragging my feet but I will. I don't think there was any questions about it, but somehow it was necessary to get everything out.
Monday morning another phone call. I am starting to hate the phone it is only bringing bad news. Oh sorry let me rephrase: news that are necessary for me to stick my head in my ass in order to find the bright side. Fucking bright. Don't anyone open their mouths to tell me about bright side. Sure I want my husband home and not in the sandbox, sure its better but its not a fucking bright side moving to Texas. Yeah my husband is alive and we are happy and healthy, I get that, but moving to Texas will never be a bright side. It will be the lesser of two evils, but it will still royally suck. YEah I will try to make the best of it, but bloom?? Yeah shove it.
Anyways, rant over, the monday phone call informed us he will have to report on Oct 15th and start working Oct 17. That is 15 days away. Are you fucking kidding me?? Oh and that they wont pay for our move. It will be on our dime and also he wont go back to Afghan so that means all your equipment that you left there because we couldn't give you an answer before, yeahh that thousand dollar equipment that has to be turned in..it will be shipped from Afghan in your own dime.
Head spinning, no more tears left I hoped in the computer and started to research and set everything up. Moving quotes, car transporting quotes, plane tickets, hotels, rental cars, turning rental in, finding new rental, $$$'s signs rolling around we got everything se then we didn't then we did.
Moving truck will be here on monday morning to load everything we packed on our own, they will be done by noon, friend will clean my house, mom will turn in the keys to the landlord on tuesday because monday afternoon we will be on the road. With 2 kids to drive 1900 plus miles to arrive in El Paso, Texas, before the moving truck, to find a decent place to live, to sign for such place, to grab keys and have it ready for the moving truck.
I want to cry but I have no tears, I have drank enough wine to last me a lifetime in the past couple days, I need a valium, a hug and some energy.
The good thing is so far so good. Its wednesday and 90% of my house is packed. My husband has been running around like crazy grabbing boxes, taking things to goodwill, doing this doing that. That means me muah packed 90% of this house alone in 2 days. My sanity has gone out of the window. I have gotten in touch with a realtor that will meet me and show me the properties I preselected, I got a hotel booked, I now need to finish separating clothes for the trip, and paperwork.
In terms of God, I don't know what to think. He knew Texas is the last place I wanted to go yet he is sending me there?? Either we are on different wave lengths or He knows something I don't know and I need, but I have learned a valuable lesson. Never ever ever tell God you don't want to go somewhere because more than likely He will send you there just to mess with your head ;)
If everything works, 1 week from now we will arrive in El Paso to start a new chapter and I promise if I have any sanity left, I will try to find the bright side. either under a cactus or at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.
Posted by Ally